60


No, I'm not turning 60 (yet...it's getting closer and closer) and it's NOT my birthday. (That's just over 2 weeks away...get your shopping done now!)  Today would have been my parents’ 60th anniversary.  (I wish I could share some photos of the day, but I can't seem to find their wedding album.)

The last time I wrote about my parents’ anniversary was 10 years ago! ( https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2014/05/50-years.html)  Boy things were a lot different then!

As their anniversary approached and with Memorial Day just around the corner, I've been doing a lot thinking about them.  I've been thinking about what would have been their last anniversary together in 2022.  Both had serious health issues at the time; but there was no way to know that it would have been their last anniversary together.  There was no way to know how quickly things would turn for the worse and that in just a week or so my mother would end up in the hospital and never return to the house that she bought in 1995.  I do know that the year before, we (my son, my husband and myself) went down to see them to celebrate.  (How grateful am I NOW that we did that then?)  

Last year my dad would have been in the hospital on his anniversary.  I'm pretty sure I didn't bring it up.  I'm pretty sure he didn't even know the date.  And that may well have been a good thing.  I think about this time last year.  Driving my son and his friends down to the shore for the long weekend (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2023/05/am-i-out-of-my-mind.html) and then coming to the house to work (and I very clearly remember the proposals I worked on, which were frustrating as hell) and then going to visit my dad late in the afternoon/early evening.

On this day, I think about how much has changed in the 60 years since my parents have married.  Not the "BIG" things, there are too many of those to even consider, but the little things.  The things that have changed in the town that you lived in for the majority of your time together, where I still reside.  (And where I'm not too thrilled with all of the changes; too much noise and traffic, but that's a whole other story.)  Changes in the town that you moved to full time less than 10 years ago. (Changes that I see every time I come down -- within the blink of an eye a business is gone to be replaced by another.)

I thought about that a lot when I went out for a walk this morning.  I stayed in bed until a little after 5, watching the sky lighten and change color.  (How wonderous is that to see?  This "primary" bedroom allows you to watch it all.  Of course it also means you're getting up with the dawn as the light pours into the room.)  I walked up to the beach that we always used to go to.  The real estate office on the corner, the one that under a different name/owner, was where we started our rental journey down here is now closed.  (Even the landmark real estate office up North is closing its doors...offices are no longer needed and while I as an office worker, I appreciate it, but as someone who cherishes landmarks, it's sad.) I remember you parking your chairs on the beach.  There was always lots of conversation among friends there.  And dad would body surf.

I walked south (not on the beach...the tide was high). There are so many houses.  And they are so large.  (I know I've said this time and time.)  There is one that is so large that I can't figure out if it is single family or for multiples.  Or maybe it was built just to be an Airbnb?  (Now that's a "new" thing when you look back on the last 60 years.)  

The overpriced market is open for the season.  (They could successfully stay open all year long if they wanted these days with so many people down here, but...)  What used to be the fish market when I was a kid is now a sushi place and it seems to be doing well.  (I was surprised they closed when the season ended)  And there are new businesses popping up, which like a salad place next to the ice cream parlor (and there are now TWO in a town that is approximately a mile long).  The deserted kitchen flooring place (which was once a boat place) now seems to be a coffee/donut place and deli (only 4 blocks from the favored Wawa) as well as a "beach stuff" store.  Have to wonder how well that will do as the last one in town is now the rehab/sports medicine place.  (Of course before that it was a bakery...and I remember it being THE place where teens worked when I was little.)  The torn down 5 & 10 (how I miss those!) is supposedly being rebuilt into a coffee shop.  (Not this season though...)

Those homes that we rented from 1972 - 1995 (I think there were 8 in total) all still "exist", but none are at all like what they once were.  The small, charming summer "cottages" that drew us to the NJ shore are a relic of the past.  

I guess I am a relic of the past too, looking for the touchstones of the past.  (I almost said the good old days, but I realize that they weren't always so good.) 

This blog post has turned into a rambling mess, but maybe that’s what I am today.  (Maybe that’s what I am most days?)  With no logical end in sight, I’ll simply say that I love my mom and dad, especially on this day.  (I think that’s pretty obvious.)  And enjoy the sunrise.  (Or at least these photos from this morning.)




Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 23, 2024 at 4:37 PM

    I loved reading this wonderful description. I was right there with you. I too love the short but don’t get there much any more. I would go to Avon with my bike and ride for about an hour before putting it back on my car and heading to the beach. The same people would usually arrive, some with families the got larger each year. The last time I was there, I no longer felt safe going into the water. Yes, things change with time, but memories,if we are lucky, remain.

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