Don't be a Benny

 

 While my family has owned at house at the Jersey shore since 1995, we've been part of this community since 1972.  And although we were not always full timers, I would never have considered us Bennys  (or a Shoobie, if we had been heading further south).   We were respectful of the island.   We followed the rules at the beach and at "home.” (Because even if we didn't own it, it was our home for the time being. My mother always made sure we took care of the home,)

For me the term Benny is more a state of mind than where you are from or how long you might stay.  In my mind, Benny’s don't care about this place. And for a Benny this is just a place. For my family, for me, and for the people who love it, this is not just a place. This is home. This is a small slice of God's heaven on earth with its sun sand and sea. All need to be respected, cared for, and even nurtured. 

As things have changed down here at the New Jersey shore, I see more of a Benny mindset. By that I mean people who are here just to be here. People who are here who do not respect the land and the others that they share this piece of land with. Over the years I have seen a place of beauty that was well cared for become just a place. A status symbol for those who want to show off their big homes, their big boats, etc.  They arrive in their oversized SUVs, music blaring to go into their air conditioned mini-mansions and then take a dip in their backyard pool.  (Which is small because there's no room for a "regular" one.)  There are no weeds in the yard; the landscaper has taken care of it.  There is no sand tracked in the house; the cleaners will take care of it.  They will bath in the Jacuzzi tub; showering outside under the sky in a small enclosure has no charm.  They will go out to the club to eat; not to sail, although they may insist that their child take lessons there.  (It's much better than the day camp.) It's no longer about the ocean or the bay, or the creatures that live there. It's not about the swimmers, the surfers, or the sailors. Instead it is become a place where “fun" for the individual is more important than anything else. And that makes me sad.

Summer is supposed to be loud and chaotic.  But the loud should be the shouts and laughter of children playing and not drunken parties and shouts of profanity over where to park.  It should be grilled hamburgers, hot dogs and corn on the cob bought at the local store, not catered chicken breast with steamed asparagus.  Ice cream comes from the local parlor or the truck that comes around playing that annoying tune or maybe from the freezer (be sure to close the door properly when you've done); there's no place for froyo or gelato.  The air should be filled with the smell of suntan lotion and brackish water, not high end perfume.  There is no perfect tan, but sunburns and gloppy white lotion that stains your clothes.  Clothes are meant to be dirtied and stained at the shore.  You may love your Lilly Pulitzer shift (God knows I do), but not here.  Bathing suits are meant for the wearing to the beach and should get filled with sand.  Their colors fade. This is summer at the shore.  

Or at least that's how I see it.

While I don't live down here, I am here year round.  I like the off season so much more than "the season".  (And I've felt that way for a long time; even before I officially owned a home here.)  The cars, the crowds...But then again, who doesn't want to spend time at the shore?  Who doesn't want to hang out at the beach? (Well, there's my husband, but...)All of this...it's...difficult.  

There have always been lots of summer visitors to the shore.  But in recent years, what's notably changed is the way people treat the land and the people they share it with.   There is an obvious selfish attitude.  I think back to Woody Guthrie’s words/lyrics:  "This land is your land, and this land is my land. From California to the New York island, from the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream waters. This land was made for you and me."

To paraphrase, the Shore is not for you, nor is it for me.  It's for us all.  It's for us all to enjoy and take care of.  Please treat it and the people around you with care and compassion.