Bfth's Boring Blog

You may recall a post about a week ago about my trip to NYC for a training session.  (If you missed it:   https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/01/illusion-of-control.html )  As I said then, most of the time I have an illusion of control, but when I travel to NYC, I have none.  Today, the universe decided to show me just how true that is. Let me also say, that I realize that I am no Albert Einstein, but I am relatively intelligent. Not brilliant, but intelligent.  (Moreover, smart enough to know that I should look both ways before crossing the street.)  With that said, I prepared for this trip.  What I could control, I tried to control.  Therefore, I bought my bus tickets in advance.  I checked the bus schedule on line.  I checked out the subway line I was to take and knew the stop before mine (so that I could be prepared).  I even dug out the metro card I had from a previous trip knowing that it still had some money on it.  I dressed comfortably, but fashionably (since I wa

How I see it, a woman SHOULD have the right to make decisions over her body.  However, life is a precious thing...and many people see abortion as killing.  Although if something isn't BORN how can it be completely alive?  I'm not 100% on that...does that mean if we eat a sunflower seed we are killing a sunflower plant before it had a chance to grow?  If we dig up a sprout from the ground are we not killing a tree? Let's put that aside for a minute.  For my purposes here, let's say that life begins at conception.  And to be clear, conception requires two things...and egg, which is INSIDE the female, and a sperm, which is inside the male UNTIL he ejaculates INTO the female.  And while there is one egg (per month give or take) that is hanging out in the female waiting to possibly fertilized, there are millions of sperm racing towards that egg.  In other words, these are hardworking guys.  They FIGHT their way upstream to get to that egg, win the race and create tha

I n a week, I have to head into NYC for a training session.  I don't want to go.  I don't dislike the city, but GOING to the city stresses me out and makes me uncomfortable.  I am ill at ease.  A friend once said that I was afraid of the city.  That's not true.  I'm not afraid, but I AM tense. I will be stressed and all because I will have no control. N ow truth be told, I have very little control of anything in my life.  But what I DO have is the illusion of control.  I am well aware that I am fooling myself (or maybe I am only pseudo- aware), but I think that on a daily basis I have most things under control.  Like most people I have a routine and I am comfortable with it.  While there are plenty of stressors in my life, the fact that for the most part I can count on a daily regularity keeps me on a relatively even keel. I like knowing where I am going on the weekdays.  While I may not like the traffic on Route 3, for the most part I know that if I leave my

Today is Martin Luther King Jr day and I'm going to celebrate by shopping for soup and socks. Are the stores having Martin Luther King Jr. soup and sock sales?  I certainly hope not!  (I hate the fact that we have Presidents Day sales for everything from cars to linens and Memorial Day is not about food, but that's another story.)  But I am shopping for both today and to in my own way honor the legacy of Dr. King. First of all, I don't have to shop for these things on this day, but to me it makes sense.  I don't have to work today, so I have the time to shop.  But more importantly by specifically shopping today for these things I am focused on WHY I am making these purchases and how they can (and hopefully WILL) make this world a better place. Starting with the soup...If you've been reading my blog over the years, you may recall that my church (specifically the youth) participates in  The Souper Bowl of Caring.     (If you missed it:   https://bfth

Let's be honest, if I told you I needed to get a passport, you KNEW it wasn't going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy.  You knew there would be a story and it would be stressed, depressed lemon zest, right?  Right!  So let's get down to a tale of stressed, depressed lemon zest. My son, the only member of the family who has a passport, will be traveling to the Galapagos Island this summer on an educational trip.  (Yes you can be jealous...I know I am.  No parent chaperones allowed.)  His current passport will expire in January 2021.  His trip is this summer, BUT the date of expiration on his passport is less than 6 months AFTER he will return.  Confused?  I was too, but... "Before your next trip, make sure your passport satisfies the six-month validity passport rule. As a general rule, passports should have at least six months of validity when traveling internationally. Most countries will not permit a traveler to enter their country unless the passport is se

A week has passed since  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-silence-experiment.html .  The cool thing is that it wasn't a pass/fail type of thing, but an experiment of observation.  So here's what I noticed about myself and others over the past week. I couldn't avoid  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/01/screaming-inside-of-my-head.html .  And that screaming inside of my head did come out, but not all the time.  Though I DID blurt out insensitive things (and I often did in the past), I THINK I did so less. More importantly, I once I did so, I was more aware of it.  I thought to myself, "Ok, you just did what I didn't want to do.  Let's try to avoid doing this again."  And I did (and will) do it again, but I think I'm doing so less often.  As I progress (because I don't think I want to give up this experiment because I think it has positive ramifications) I hope that I

I recently found out that a friend of mine is very ill.  What can I do?  She cannot have visitors.  She isn't really eating. I'm not a medical professional. What is she in need of?  What can I do?  I feel like I can do nothing. I can say that the first thing I did when I heard was get angry.  Mad at the unfairness of it all.  Mad at myself for not keeping in touch.  Mad at her for not telling me directly.  (I found out through the grapevine.)  And while anger is not unwarranted; it definitely isn't going to help the situation.  The world is an angry enough place; I don't need to add to it.  Putting negativity out there is definitely not what I want to do. What can I do?   Well, I can STOP beating myself up for not keeping in touch.  What's past is past and I can't change what I've done (or what I haven't).  What I CAN do is be present.  I can be available.  I can make it known that I am here should she want or need anything.  Even though I canno

So I started a silence experiment yesterday ( https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-silence-experiment.html ).  All during my work day, I made an effort to notice the noise around me and be more conscious of my words.  As I left, a co-worker caught up to me at the elevator and said she didn't even know I was in that day.  (She sits two cubicles down from me.)   I was going to try to keep silent once I got home, but I gave in when my son asked me if I was still not speaking.  I followed the caveat that he spoke first and answered.  But I only spoke when spoken to.  There was no "nagging" or asking of questions.    And believe me, I WANTED to ask questions. Which is where the screaming inside of my head comes from.  My mouth is shut, but the voice in my head is going into overdrive.  If you've seen "Inside Out," Anger was running amok with Disgust egging him on...Joy and Sadness were nowhere to be found and Fear was hiding somewhere.  (If you

How often have you been accused of talking too much?  Or how often have you been told that you are NOT listening?  Admit it, we're all guilty of this.  I'll freely (and ashamedly) admit it!  So for this week (?), I'm taking a literal break from talking, which I hope will make me a better listener. I also have to confess that this experiment did not come out of any altruistic thought on my part. My family of three has been having a bit of a rough patch since Friday night with unkind words, focus and thinking.   I am not taking full responsibility for this mess, but I will take a good chunk of it.  Last night while I was speaking/repeating something that I thought bared saying again, my boys snapped.  I was talking too much about a particular thing; it was not the right time.  Angry, I shut up.  Feeling that my voice was not being heard or frustrated, I decided it was time to say nothing.  I committed to it with vigor and anger.  Never go to be angry?  I think we all d

Yes, it's a new year (and maybe even a new decade, depending on who you talk to but that's a whole other post), but it STILL is Christmas time.  Because it IS still Christmas.  (Yes, I am serious.) While we put up trees and start decorating in anticipation of Christmas PRIOR to December 24th (when you or I decide it is time to do so is totally up to our own sense of holiday), we are NOT in the Christmas season; we are in Advent. (Which is why I usually post something during the four Sundays that lead up to Christmas.  If you missed this year’s posts, here is your chance to read about  Hope ,  Peace ,  Joy  and  Love . )  Technically (religiously?), Christmas does not start until December 25th (although, I'd kind of go with Christmas Eve as the holiday marker) and continues on until Epiphany (January 6th).  You know when the Wise Men show up at the manager. This was made clearer to me on the Sunday after (the first day of) Christmas when I visited a chapel and noti

Day one of the new decade down; 3649 to go until we hit the next one. I plan to make this decade a good one.  (See  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/01/the-new-decade.html ).  I don't, however, have a plan in place quite yet.  I will have goals and a way to try and reach them, but I don't like to put it all out there on the first day of the new year.  I don't want to start the new year out with pressure and stress.  No, NOW YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ACHIEVE THAT!  The first day of the new year is special.  I like to take it slow and do things/activities that I might not usually do.  (But nothing too crazy). I like to sleep in on New Year's Day; especially since this year the next day I have to go back to the "work grind."  Of course for me, sleeping in means after 6 AM!  But for the last day of the last decade, I didn't get to sleep until 2 AM 2020!  (Which if you know me is pretty amazing!)  Usually, unless we are going out and doing something s