Bfth's Boring Blog

  Although I have some very "wonky" health related issues (strange food allergies, "uneven" feet and other stuff that I won't get into), I am a relatively healthy person.  Sure I've had bouts of strange "diseases" (Costochondritis, Pityriasis rosea) but (thankfully), I've rarely been hospitalized.  I've gone to the ER several times (I used to have an issue with swallowing and things would get caught in my esophagus so that I could breath, but not swallow...muscle relaxants sometimes helped, but once I had to be knocked out and had the protein based object pushed down to my stomach), but have only stayed overnight in a hospital twice thus far.  (Once when I was a teen and they had to take out all my wisdom teeth at once and the other when I had a hysterectomy.)  I MAY have broken my little toe once, but other than that... I'm lucky.  I'm blessed.  I get it.  And I appreciate it. So I was a little freaked out when a cyst started to gr

 As I write this, my days at the NJ shore are coming to an end.  The sale is not complete, no money has exchanged hands, but we are getting very close.  I met with my attorney today (my first time meeting her face to face) and signed a lot of papers.  There is still plenty of room for glitches and issues, but I am somewhat hopeful that this matter is wrapping up. And that's bittersweet.  My mother purchased this home nearly 30 years ago.  I have been the official owner (and payer of taxes and utilities) for almost a year.  And now that is coming to a close. This weekend has been tiring.  It had always been my intention to wrap things up on Friday/Saturday.  My husband and I arrived here around six in the morning.  (After stopping at  Wawa  for coffee.)  His job was to pack up the remaining glassware.  My job was to make sure we were ready for the movers.  (As well as doing my "real" job; working remotely.) The movers arrived later than I expected.  (Later than they expect

 I keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel and then realize that the light is just another train set to run me over.  Or so it seems. I spent the summer of 2022 caring for my mother, making decisions for her and holding her hand while she died.  Then I spent the rest of the year filling out forms, fighting financial institutions, and trying to do the right things all while being emotionally and physically exhausted. I spent the first part of 2023 caring for my father, making decisions for him, trying to get him the best care possible for his situation and then beating myself up for not being there when he died.   Then I spent the second half  of the year filling out forms, fighting financial institutions, and trying to do the right things all while being emotionally and physically exhausted. It's now 2024 and I'm still emotionally and physically exhausted as I fill out more forms and try to sell the home that was owned by my mother (although it because my pare

  Dear Mom & Dad, Last week I prematurely said I sold the house.  (Who knew that the buyer's lawyer would be such a...well you fill in the blank.  I get the feeling that he doesn't like that the seller [me], seller's agent and seller's attorney are all women.  I also get the feeling that he likes to play games which will increase his billable hours.  I'm not naming names [yet] because although paperwork has been signed we are not yet at the finish line and based on my awful experiences of late last week, I still have fears that something could go wrong, even though we clearly outlined everything from the very beginning. )  I am closer and have spent the last weekend doing more packing up and moving out. This is the hard part.  I have sold the house furnished (although the buyer doesn't want the furnishings).  I am taking some things (more than I had originally outlined), but I can't take it all.  So I'm doing what I can.  Especially with the &quo

  Today I want to discuss what I think it is a relatively simple concept, but may be difficult for some, even an attorney who might have once, over a decade ago won a  prestigious award  for young lawyers .  That term is "AS IS." As you may know, I volunteer in a thrift shop.  Everything we sell, from all the donations we receive, is "as is."  The items are not brand new.  They are not perfect.  That doesn't mean they aren't any good or worth something. They are sold "as is."  Buyers should go in knowing that. (After all you are shopping in a thrift shop!)  In some cases, particularly when we are offering higher end products, we will actually write on the price tag, "as is." Such is the case of two designer purses that I purchased from there this summer.  (I'm a purse-aholic!  Don't look in my closet.)  They were reasonably priced (especially when you consider the name brand), but each had an "as is" clearly marked o

  Wednesday.  It's the middle of the week and nothing special about it.  It's a reminder that we're halfway through the work week.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  Who am I to say? Yesterday was a pretty typical Wednesday, except for the heat and humidity.  It's been brutal for seemingly ever.  Don't tell me that climate change isn't a thing or that we don't need to (or can't) do anything about it.  When someone who generally loves the heat is complaining, there's an issue! It was hot when I got up and attempted to walk.  I was a sweaty mess before I even started.  (And I started before the sun was up.)  I was moving kinda slow (like Uncle Joe...does anyone else get that dated reference?) because I just couldn't slog through the air as quickly as I would have liked.  It took me nearly an hour to go just 2.5 miles.  (That's sad.)  When I got in a cold shower I didn't want to get out.  But I did. I (sort of) put myself together and h

 There's been a lot of talk about the 10 commandments recently, with a push in certain states to have them posted in public schools.  Although I (try to) follow the 10 commandments, I don't think a school is the place for them, especially when those who are enforcing this on students probably can't name them all (without peaking) or even follow them themselves.  But that's not what this post is about... This post is about Commandment #5; honor your father and mother.  (I didn't even have to look it up; I KNEW it was the 5th...so take that!)   There are times or situations where #5 does not apply.  (How can you honor your father and/or mother if they are abusive?)  But I'm going to "speak" in broader terms and as it relates to me and my situation.  (As they say, your mileage may vary.) Both of my parents have passed away.  While they were alive, I tried to honor them.  I probably didn't do such a hot job as a child, but as an adult,  I general

  Dear Mom, Well it's been two years since I last held your hand.  I can still remember the hospital room so clearly and how strange the whole day was.  And how rattled I was when I had to gather up everything and go "home."  It was my home after that day; you left it to me.  But I didn't change the title until after dad's passing.  It didn't seem right. And now mom, I've sold the house.  (Well almost, I've signed the paperwork, but the closing isn't for another couple of weeks.)  Once again, this time of year is incredibly overwhelming and emotional. I know this was your dream home when you purchased it back in 1995.  (Or almost...the wallpaper in two of the bathrooms was incredibly ugly and you had to wait a few years before you were able to get it off and replace it with "normal" paint.  Those ugly blue flowers in the back bathroom will never be forgotten!)  You had waited so long to get the funds (inherited from your mother) t

Independence Day...July 4th.  The day of declaration:  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--"  (My emphasis on ALL.)   Here I am at the shore for one last July 4th, with my family. For me, for us, it will be the last as the house will officially be on the market tomorrow.  (And already, without any showings, there have been two offers:  one laughable and one worth considering.)  While I was anxious (and I still am a little), I am confident that due to the talents of our agent, that within the week I will have made the decision as to who will be the next owner of this property which has been in my family since before I was married.  (1995 to be exact.)   Knowing that our/my time at this place was coming to a close, I wanted to be here for this day.  As I was last year, just after my father died.  As I sor

 Once again, first world problem and privileged rant...That's your warning/spoiler. On Monday I needed to send a document along with a substantial check to a person in a nearby state.  (Yes, I've purposely made the details vague.)  It needed to get there fairly quickly.  Not overnight, but close and because it was such an important mailing, it needed to be tracked. USP?  USPS?  FedEx?  My husband and I decided to go to our local UPS store (next town over) and see what the best method of delivery would be.  I sat out in the car (because parking in the area can be an issue) and he went in to send out the envelope.  The person at UPS said that USPS Priority would be quick.  Most likely it would be there the next day.  (It was early afternoon at that point.)  Using my credit card, hubby paid $17.22 and that was that.  (Although the drive home from the next town over took nearly 20 minutes due to streets being closed due to construction.  I get the need, but do you have to close

Dear Dad, Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of your death.  However, it was today that I found out.  You passed away late on the 1st, but my phone never rang and I didn't find out until I looked at my phone early (early-ish) on the morning of the 2nd.  I'm still not sure if that was a blessing or not? I wanted to write this yesterday, but things got out of hand.  This whole past week (and then some) has been pretty crazy.  Last Monday my FiL had hip surgery.  (I know you wanted hip surgery to take away the pain you were in, but you weren't strong enough and I don't know if that would have actually helped with the multitude of issues that made your last years so difficult.)  Last Tuesday my co-worker of nine years was made redundant.  (I had known her for 9 years.  She worked for the company for about 20.  Of course since the corporation that we were hired by was purchased 4 years ago, I guess we both have only been employed for 4 years?  It's all so confusi

 Dear Dad, It's a hot summer day at the shore.  Yesterday was the first race of the season for the BBYRA, so of course I was thinking of you and knowing how much you would have wanted to be out there on the bay.  (While also NOT wanting to be out there...it is possible to love something and also dislike it at the same time, especially when relying on nature.) The wind was typical yesterday and by typical I mean ever changing.  There was no air in the morning, so you would have been sweltering under the sun.  I put the a/c on in the house.  Then then wind picked up and I was able to go out on the deck and be comfortable, first under the umbrella (which I managed to get out of the shed and [sort of] assemble on my own) and then in the sun sitting on the lounge chair.  It actually got cooler, and more windy, in the afternoon. (No surprise there.)  It actually got chilly and I put on a sweater (one of mom's; the one with all the sailboats on it).  (Meanwhile, just 50 miles nort

 I t's summer.  It's Saturday.  And here's what I'm thinking... Outdoor showers are awesome.  Showering under the sky (whether it be blue or dark and scattered with stars) is something to experience.  Use coconut shampoo and "tropical scent" body wash/soap and you are taken away to the island life no matter where you are. Downside?  Bird poop on the floor.  And that's why I wear flip flops (and aim the shower spray to wash it away). The gulls are using my dock as a "dropping" ground and feeding station again.  (They catch crabs and then drop them on the ground in order to break the shell open and eat them.) How did this happen?  This planter has always had a little pine tree/sapling in it, but now there's an eastern prickly pear in there too?  There is an eastern prickly pear in the front of the house, but this is behind it and in a planter?  I'm guessing local birds have had a hand in this.  The peach tree is starting to blossom.  These