Bfth's Boring Blog

LG (her initials) is NOT dead.  But she is about to leave her place of employment after more than a decade.   There are a variety of reasons behind this, but none of them are really my business.  Her leaving the company leaves me in a state of mourning. I've known her for nearly 3 years now.  We physically met 5 months after I had started working for the company at a meeting.  Although it was our first time meeting in person, we had talked over the phone frequently and emailed back and forth even more.  She immediately pulled me into a warm embrace.  It was completely natural; and so LG. (It can't be coincidence that her initials are also the initials for Life's Good. ) She IS a warm hug.  She is everything you'd want a friend and co-worker to be:  (seemingly) calm, caring, focused and the list could go on and on.  Her Midwestern life is very different than my northeast chaos, but they are also very much the same.  She is organized (at least when it comes t

If you are of a certain age, you will remember a running gag on Saturday Night Live, about Generalissimo Francisco Franco and the fact the fact that he was still dead.  If you are NOT of a certain age and have no clue what I'm talking about, Google it.  It was the 1970s; it was funny. When someone is dead, they stay dead.  (We're not going to get into religion and the whole resurrection thing here.)  A person dies.  Family and friends mourn.  Life goes on.  The person is not forgotten, but is generally not a daily focal point.  Legacy is important, obsession is another story. John McCain; like him, love him, loathe him, or whatever is dead.  He died on August 25, 2018.  (A date I remember because it was my late brother's birthday.)  There were several services/funerals; which is not usual for a man who was a distinguished veteran, Senator and presidential candidate.  They were high profile and the service in Washington, DC was televised and featured many high p

It's almost here.  Officially arriving just a few minutes before six this evening.  I'm thrilled! No, it hasn't been a particularly hard winter.  Much less snow than year! (She says with her fingers crossed remembering last year's squall on April 2nd!)  Cold temperatures, but not THAT cold.  Ice, but not too much of it.  (We didn't go through all of our ice melt.)  Am I tempting fate too much here? Spring!  There's the anticipation of flowers (haven't seen any on my property, but there have been some crocuses poking up on my neighbors).  There are a few buds on the trees.  It was just last Saturday when I woke up to the sounds of birds.  I had been thinking that I hadn't seen any robins yet.  (It was quite late in the robin spotting season.)  Went out on a walk (which was much colder than I had anticipated) and spied at least 4.  Spring!  Glorious Spring! How I long to send my stained winter coat to the cleaners.  (I have no idea what

This mom is having trouble adjusting to the fact that her son is getting ready for high school.  I see those old FB posts; the photos that appear on my digital picture frame...what happened to my cute little boy?  Who is this man? I can't believe I'm going through all this.  I thought I was "tougher."  I may be an emotional person, but I've always been pretty blasé when it comes to the kid growing up.  He's no longer a baby; he's a toddler.  Ok.  He's no longer a toddler, he's a kid.  No problem.  He's no longer a kid, he's a tween.  Sigh, adjust the attitude and let's get cracking son.  He's no longer a tween, he's a teen.  I can deal, right?  He's a teen who looks and sounds like a man (seriously he definitely pass for 17 and possibly even older)...I'm falling apart! We've been to the high school orientation; which was great, but also a little overwhelming.  We're getting ready for a meeting with the

Here I am STILL trying to be more mindful of things.  In some ways I am succeeding; in others no so much.  Which is a true reflection of my life (and perhaps yours as well). In case you don't recall; for Lent I have given up 3 things:  Chocolate, alcohol and cursing.   Chocolate I've been giving up for Lent for at least 2 decades, so although it is difficult for me (I really LOVE chocolate), it isn't that hard.  What I need to STOP doing is trying to find replacements.  Sure I've given up my beloved chocolate, but I've had my share of other sweet treats to replace that craving.  I think I should be doing less of that.  While it would be next to impossible for me to give up all sweets (I know my own limitations), I need to be more mindful of what I put into my mouth.  (Why doesn't that sound good?)  I have always been a thoughtless eater.  I don't eat because I'm hungry (at least not most of the time), I eat because I'm bored, angry, tired,

Two Bible passages filled my head this morning after I heard the horrible news from New Zealand. One from John 13:34: " A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" and the other from Matthew 22:  37-40:  Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Yes, I am Christian, but these words should apply to ALL humankind.  It doesn't matter what your faith is or isn't, we are all of this world and we need to love and care for each other.  We need condemn hatred and live lives of caring and kindness. We need to LIVE our lives.  We need to LIVE and not fear.  We need to act in kindness.  We need to act with compassion.  We need to stop looking at the differences and start looki

So the big news (this week) is the college admission story.  NPR covered it quite succinctly:   College Admissions Scandal .  This is a serious story and will have serious ramifications for the adults involved and even potentially their children.  And while I don't want to downplay what happened, I feel that this is just part of a bigger problem.  Here and now, we all think we (or our children) need to be THE BEST. There is NOTHING wrong with doing your best.  There is nothing wrong with being the best YOU.  There IS something wrong with this constant pressure of being THE BEST.  Of being the top of the top; not just in one thing but in everything.  While there may be some extremely talented individuals out there that can be the top of their class or Olympic gold medalists or the star of the show; the fact is that most of us aren't. While I am not encouraging anyone not to put their all into something, why is there shame in being just ok?  Why can't we be prou

I'm a week into Lent.  I know that's a little strange, but I started Lent early (Sunday, March 3) because I know that the last weekend in the month I will "break" Lent for a social obligation.  So in order to "make up" for that, I start early. That's a rationalization I know.  Lent isn't SUPPOSED to be about rationalizations or "working around" the system, but I'm going to be honest:  ever since I started the Lenten practice of giving something up I've been rationalizing and working around the system.  My son is the greatest example of this:  he has given up cookies, which means he is downing granola bars, mini muffins, etc.  Not so much of a sacrifice is it?  However, it IS a teen and I'm an adult.  I should know better. I made a rationalization yesterday, but I also thought about it, which is also part of MY Lenten process.  My true focus in Lent is mindfulness.  Being aware of what I am doing.  Yesterday some fri

We all live a life that is perfect.  Perfect families with perfect children.  Perfect jobs which afford us perfect homes and perfect family vacations.  We KNOW that it is so because we see it on social media.  Smiling faces in clean houses.  Proud parent of an honor roll student at "x" school bumper stickers.  We all live well rounded lives with family meals full of lively discussion after homework is done and the favored sport has been triumphantly won. Perfect.   Only it's not.  I know it's not; you know it's not.  Yet, the fallacy continues.  It stares out at us day by day. Everything in my life is far from perfect.  That is not to say my life is awful and that the world is shattering around me.  It's simply that my life is complicated and often difficult.  Logically, I know that this is true for almost everyone.  (Heck, I'm 99.99999% sure it's true for EVERYONE.)  But because of this perfect illusion, it seems like I (and you if y

Today starts the somber season of Lent.  I'm hoping that this will be a time of reflection and thoughtfulness for me.  To that end, in addition to giving up chocolate and alcohol (which has almost become rote for me...I've been giving up chocolate for over 20 years now and I've been giving up alcohol for at least 2 years), I'm also TRYING to give up foul language.  (I have already failed at this several times this morning...it's going to be a real challenge for me.  That's not something I am proud of.  I don't recall always having these words fly out of my mouth without any thought, but more and more I find it happening; and that's not good in my book.) The whole idea, at least for me, in giving up for Lent is a practice in mindfulness.  I am sorry to say that I much of the time I am NOT mindful.  Not mindful of what I put into my body, but perhaps even more important, not mindful of what comes out.  The words that I say; the expressions behind

When you read the word "monster" what image comes to mind?  Unless you are thinking of a Muppet (where monsters are pretty cute and cuddly) or a Disney movie (who doesn't love Sully or Mike Wazowski?)  you the image that your brain pull up would be a "classic horror" type monster:  the ugly and deformed Phantom or the abomination that Frankenstein created.   When we think of "real life" monsters, we expect them to be ugly.  Evil on the inside must equal ugly on the outside.  It's what we want.  It's what we NEED to "identify" bad/evil.  We need an identifying mark so that we can feel safe and "know" that the person is one we should avoid; the person that we should warn our children about. But that's not how it works.  Society's "monsters" come from all walks of life.  They don't look a certain way.  A person who is extremely good looking can be a monster.  A person in a position of authority can be

No, I'm talking about basketball!  (When would I EVER talk about basketball?  ME?  Sports?  ME?!?!?)  I'm talking about the weather. As of today, March 1st, we in the tristate area (specifically my corner of NJ) has NOT had a lot of snow.  We're currently 11 inches below the average.  Of course last year we were ABOVE average AND the entire year was one of the wettest on record.  So even without snow, we have no drought to fear (of course that could change...you never know).   I'm NOT complaining about the lack of snow this season.  (Midwesterners, my sympathies as you have been hit again and again and again...)  I would NEVER complain about lack of snow.  Winter weather is NOT my thing.  To be honest, I like winter from the 21st of December to January 3rd.  Then I am over it.  I need no more.  Once it is no longer white and fluffy, it's of no use to me.  Dirty brown/black (or even yellow) snow...UGH!  And let's not even talk about ice.  There are only