Showing posts from May, 2022

May 25, 2022: What I'm Thinking Today

  It's another Wednesday morning.  Memorial Day is coming up with the promise of a long holiday weekend and hopefully some warm weather.  The school year is starting to wrap up. I drive my son to school.  Its day 3 of a 4 day standardized test schedule for juniors and freshman.  Standardized tests are not something that my son generally does well with.  He had done another portion of this test earlier.  (Was it earlier this month?  Was it late last month?   No, wait it was March! Who can remember?)  Even though this test has not been proven (it's never been given before), passing is a requirement for graduation.  So this freaks me out.  (And resulted in an earlier blog post: )  It freaks me out because if you DO fail, the other paths to graduating are not very clear. One of the "alternative" paths is having an "acceptable" SAT score (I don't know what that score is.)  My son too


Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Trying to face life as it is Trying to help Trying to support Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Facing a future that I should have expected Hiding my head in the sand Even while holding it up; just a little Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Too many things being thrown my way One, two and three Personal, work and family Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Focus on one issue Compartmentalize and then Move on to the next Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Guiding down the pathway  No one wants to follow  No one wants to go even as you hold their hand attemping to make it better Trying to hold it together Trying Trying You can't fix it; you can't change things It's out of your control But you try to anyway; because hope (even when it is dashed) continues in your heart Trying to hold it together Trying Trying Trying to hold it together Trying Trying trying

Parallels in Life

  First off, although I am older and my memories (on certain things) are fading, I do very vividly remember that the word "parallel" was on a spelling test I had in 7th grade.  I couldn't spell it then, and I have to always double check it when I use it now.  I have a parallel problem. I see parallels between my son and myself.  I have some specific memories when I was a junior in high school.  The second half of the school year was when the show  M*A*S*H*   ended.  I had successfully found a t-shirt that I wanted which had Radar's teddy bear on it (I think I still have it tucked away somewhere) and I recall talking about the show the day after the finale ended in my English class.  (I had a very cool English teacher; I think she knows that.) I associate this time period with the time that my (maternal) grandfather had to move into what we called a nursing home.   Now a days they seem to call them assisted living, but it's the same thing.  That place where they (t

Missing The Commute

 It's been over two years since I last commuted an office.  Before the pandemic took over my world in March 2020 I drove approximately 12 miles in the morning and the same 12 miles back home at night.  There was ALWAYS traffic and almost always some sort of construction.  It should have been a 30 minute ride each way, but it rarely ever was.  There were plenty of times where the highway was backed up and I took back roads, which were always incredibly crowded.  There were times when it took me over an hour to my destination (be it work or home; although if I recall correctly traffic issues were usually worse on the ride home).  The commute was a pain in the neck.  But I did it every day because that's what I did. Although on occasion, I did work from home, I couldn't imagine NOT commuting on a regular basis. I had always commuted and all of the jobs that I've held down in my lifetime were within a 15 mile radius of my home.  I wouldn't look at a job that was furth

Double Exposure

 Just last week I was  warning that "it" wasn't over .  Then Monday, I m entioned that I was exposed to someone who had tested positive for Covid .  Turns out that wasn't quite right.  I wasn't exposed, I was DOUBLE exposed.  Yes, I was exposed twice over the weekend!  After over two years of this dreaded plague (and having it for Christmas), I'm exposed TWICE! Now I shouldn't be too worried.  In the first instance, I was outdoors.  In the second, I was indoors, but in general not too close to the person who tested positive for an extended period of time.  It's been less than 6 months since I had Covid.  (Who could forget a Covid Christmas ?)  However... I'll take an at home test 5 days after the exposure.  (Any earlier and I could get a false negative...I want a TRUE negative. BE NEGATIVE!)  We're doing our best to stay away from people (socially distant isn't too difficult for my husband and myself...for my son, it's a different story

Don't Bother Me I'm Stress Eating

  Not to be confused with boredom eating or actual hunger.  (Me, eat because I'm actually HUNGRY?  Really????) Let me just say that I KNOW I shouldn't be doing this.  I KNOW this is mindless eating.  I KNOW I shouldn't be eating Utz Pub Mix non-stop.  (Let me say I'm blaming whoever it was who used to order snacks for the office, back in the days when I had a physical office that I WANTED to go to, who got me completely addicted to this stuff.)  If I am going to stuff my face with anything, it SHOULD be something healthy and not something that turns my fingers orange and salty.   But this isn't about knowledge.  It's about immediate comfort. (Comfort that I will come to regret later...and I KNOW I WILL regret it so why am I doing it in the first place?  This is NOT about being rational!)  This is about feeding my emotions and not my hunger.  No need to tell me it's wrong (I know it is) or that there are other avenues I could take (I know).  There are so

Let's Talk About Camping

  Let me say straight away that the above image is not my own.  It's been floating around on the internet and I don't know who to give credit to.  I've done some searching (though not a deep dive) and didn't find anything.  If you know who created the above, let me know because the creator deserves lots of credit. Not that it's anyone's business, but I have never gone camping. I've never been in a situation where I felt like I had to go camping.  That doesn't mean I would stop someone else from going camping.  I never had the need to go camping, but if I did, it would be MY business and MY decision, no one else's. My decision to go camping or not to would be my own.   It would be one that was well thought out and planned.  I would not just ask a random person on the street for their thoughts on camping, a stranger would not know my background and my needs.     I would consult those with expertise on the subject prior to making my decision on camp

It's STILL Not Over

 So back in February (can I even remember that far back?)  I questioned whether "it" was over ( ).  Maybe there will be a day (not today) where someone will read these words and wonder what the heck I am talking about.  What IS "it?"  Tody, I think (I hope), we all know what "it" is.  We have been living with "it" for over two years.  We've been struggling with "it" for over two years.  Sadly, we've been fighting about and over "it."  "It" is still here. "It," aka Covid-19 has not gone gently into the night as some (dare I say uneducated) predicted two years ago.  "It" still very much exists.  "It" has taken us on a roller coaster ride.  Infections went up, up, up.  Deaths went up, up, up.  Then there was the blessing of vaccination. Here in the United States we had the blessing of being able to chose from three different

My Mother's Day Backstory

Yesterday being Mother's Day, I decided to give my son a "gift" (of sorts), the story of how he got to us.  Not just the story, but the backstory.  The whole long ride as I remembered it.  So I fully admit that this story might not be completely truthful or accurate, but it is what my addled brain still has left in it. Back in the early 2000s, your dad and I decided that we were going to try to have a baby.  It didn't work the usual way, so eventually, on the recommendation of a friend who was a physician, we went to see a fertility doctor.  He had no personality and reminded me of a  planaria worm.  (Inserted photo for those of you who have no clue what I am talking about.) I went to his office, spent hours waiting to meet him and then never saw him again because I ended up on a schedule that didn't match his. It's all about your cycle. You have to go and have blood drawn just about every other day.  You have to order drugs; which didn't arrive on time an

Teacher Appreciation 2022

  Since it's after 3 PM (east coast), I guess Teacher Appreciation Week is officially over.  However, the time to thank our teachers does not run out this week.  There is always time to show our appreciation for the women and men who educate our children.  Which is why, even though this has been a crazy and hellish week (not worthy of a blog post), I wrote two letters today. The first was to my son's history teachers.  Not just his current teacher, but four who have individually help him to get to where he is today.  To all of them I said:    "As I write this email, my son is (hopefully) in the midst of taking his AP US History exam.  While I cannot predict the numerical outcome (although aren’t we all hoping/praying for a 5?), I know that he is well prepared.  With all of the Thursday evening prep sessions (which, Mr. M, go above and beyond), I know he and his classmate are ready for this challenge.  "But his ability to tackle this exam is not just based on this year

Haiku & Lune

Haiku What goes on in her Uterus is not for you To decide upon What goes on in her Uterus is not for ME to decide upon What goes on in her Uterus IS for her to decide on ALWAYS Lune My reproductive health is none of your business Please stay out Her reproductive health is none of your business Please stay out If you are Pro-life you should be helping those who live.

Bye Bye Plastic Bags

 Here in NJ tomorrow (May 4th) "everything" will change when it comes to grocery shopping.  Well maybe not EVERYTHING, but there WILL be big change.  One that we've been hearing about for a long time, but is FINALLY coming to pass.  When you go to check out (be it with a cashier or using the self-check aisle), you plastic bags will no longer be an option.  Yes, you will have to bring your own reusable bags... ...Or you could just put your purchases back in the cart that you've been using and load them up one by one into the back of your car.  However that seems pretty silly (and very time consuming.)   ...Or you could bring a box to carry your items in.  Perhaps even finding an empty one while you shop.  (I understand this is common at Costco, BJs and Sam's Club...none of which I belong to.) In any case, it's the end of plastic bags as we know it here in the state.  That's NOT a bad thing.  It's a good thing.  It may be an inconvenience, but how inconv