50 Years
Today my mother and father celebrate 50 years of marriage. When it comes to age, I don't think 50 is a big number, but when it comes to anniversaries, it definitely is.
Several years ago I started to think about what I could do for my parents to celebrate this event. My mom will say I should do nothing; after all I wasn't around when they were married. But it's an important occasion for two people who helped turn me into the person that I am. So I wanted to give them some spectacular to help them celebrate and to say thank you for being my parents. Unfortunately, my finances and job situation over the past two years prevented me from giving them much of anything. I'd give them the moon and stars to show them how much I love them and how grateful I am that they are my parents, but unfortunately I can't.
So all I can do is give them my words.
I love hearing about their wedding day. My dad never told me much, but my mom did. How it was a hot May day. About how the minister at the church where they were married did not permit photography during the ceremony. (Can you imagine him surviving in this day and age where all we do is take photos?) My father's uncle was a photography buff and wanted to take lots of photos. My mother swears all during the ceremony she feared that the camera would go off and the minister would stop the ceremony. (She's not making this up either! I spoke to the sexton at the church who has been there for more than 50 years and he said one of his "jobs" during weddings was to scout out any would be photographers and if he saw a photo about to be taken to put his hand over the lens. I'm sure that wasn't in his job description!). My mother has told me several times about how nervous she was and how all she was able to focus on was a bead of sweat on my father's nose! (Funny, but 32 years later when I was married all I could focus on was how much my feet hurt and I couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over so I could take off my shoes. Which I did...and I NEVER put them back on once during the reception.)
I don't know much about the reception; although I have seen the photos. They are a perfect time capsule of what life was like "back then." How everyone dressed and everyone smoked!
They went to Bermuda for their honeymoon. Afterwards they returned to my mother's hometown buying a house only a few blocks away from my maternal grandparents and not much further from my paternal grandmother.
Family was important to my parents. I remember spending holidays with all my grandparents from a very young age and once my brother was born we all moved into a house that was right next door to my grandparents (which is the house I live in now with my husband and son). Both my parents took care of their respective parents as they got older (and I expect I will do the same when the time comes, which I hope is a LONG, LONG way off). If I am a caring person, it is because of the example that my parents set for me.
They provided my brother and I with a good life. When I look back on it, when didn't really have any worries...at least not that I can recall. My dad worked in the city and came home a little before 6 at night and we almost always had dinner together. There were regular family vacations to the NJ Shore...for a week, two weeks, a month and eventually even the entire summer. Sun, surf and sand...can a kid ask for a better summer vacation?
My dad traveled a lot when we were young. There were Sunday afternoon trips to the airport where we would drop dad off. Mom took care of us during the week and then on Fridays we would pick him up at the airport. Back then it was an adventure. You could go out to the gate and wait. Sometimes you'd even meet a celebrity (like Johnny Cash).
My parents encouraged my brother and I. We were both in the band, and my parents were "band parents" who traveled with us wherever the competition might take us. They put us through college and watched us get married. (I can honestly say that I had the best wedding and reception ever, as well as two days before and week or so after...and that I owe it all to my mom and dad.)
My parents have seen and gone through a lot over these past 50 years. Good times and bad. I hope there have been more good than bad. I know over the past few years with Hurricane Sandy and the death of my brother, it seems more bad than good. But through all the (pardon my language) bullshit, they have survived. It hasn't been easy for them (or for me), but together, like glue, they have stuck together and held on.
And without them my life would not be as full. I don't just say that lightly, for without their help, I don't think our son would have been possible. (How many children ask their parents if they would like to make a financial investment in a grandchild? How many parents would say yes without hesitation?)
I have so many things to thank my parents for. And I wish I could do it with more than just words. But for now these words will have to be enough. Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you and Happy Anniversary.
Several years ago I started to think about what I could do for my parents to celebrate this event. My mom will say I should do nothing; after all I wasn't around when they were married. But it's an important occasion for two people who helped turn me into the person that I am. So I wanted to give them some spectacular to help them celebrate and to say thank you for being my parents. Unfortunately, my finances and job situation over the past two years prevented me from giving them much of anything. I'd give them the moon and stars to show them how much I love them and how grateful I am that they are my parents, but unfortunately I can't.
So all I can do is give them my words.
I love hearing about their wedding day. My dad never told me much, but my mom did. How it was a hot May day. About how the minister at the church where they were married did not permit photography during the ceremony. (Can you imagine him surviving in this day and age where all we do is take photos?) My father's uncle was a photography buff and wanted to take lots of photos. My mother swears all during the ceremony she feared that the camera would go off and the minister would stop the ceremony. (She's not making this up either! I spoke to the sexton at the church who has been there for more than 50 years and he said one of his "jobs" during weddings was to scout out any would be photographers and if he saw a photo about to be taken to put his hand over the lens. I'm sure that wasn't in his job description!). My mother has told me several times about how nervous she was and how all she was able to focus on was a bead of sweat on my father's nose! (Funny, but 32 years later when I was married all I could focus on was how much my feet hurt and I couldn't wait for the ceremony to be over so I could take off my shoes. Which I did...and I NEVER put them back on once during the reception.)
I don't know much about the reception; although I have seen the photos. They are a perfect time capsule of what life was like "back then." How everyone dressed and everyone smoked!
They went to Bermuda for their honeymoon. Afterwards they returned to my mother's hometown buying a house only a few blocks away from my maternal grandparents and not much further from my paternal grandmother.
Family was important to my parents. I remember spending holidays with all my grandparents from a very young age and once my brother was born we all moved into a house that was right next door to my grandparents (which is the house I live in now with my husband and son). Both my parents took care of their respective parents as they got older (and I expect I will do the same when the time comes, which I hope is a LONG, LONG way off). If I am a caring person, it is because of the example that my parents set for me.
They provided my brother and I with a good life. When I look back on it, when didn't really have any worries...at least not that I can recall. My dad worked in the city and came home a little before 6 at night and we almost always had dinner together. There were regular family vacations to the NJ Shore...for a week, two weeks, a month and eventually even the entire summer. Sun, surf and sand...can a kid ask for a better summer vacation?
My dad traveled a lot when we were young. There were Sunday afternoon trips to the airport where we would drop dad off. Mom took care of us during the week and then on Fridays we would pick him up at the airport. Back then it was an adventure. You could go out to the gate and wait. Sometimes you'd even meet a celebrity (like Johnny Cash).
My parents encouraged my brother and I. We were both in the band, and my parents were "band parents" who traveled with us wherever the competition might take us. They put us through college and watched us get married. (I can honestly say that I had the best wedding and reception ever, as well as two days before and week or so after...and that I owe it all to my mom and dad.)
My parents have seen and gone through a lot over these past 50 years. Good times and bad. I hope there have been more good than bad. I know over the past few years with Hurricane Sandy and the death of my brother, it seems more bad than good. But through all the (pardon my language) bullshit, they have survived. It hasn't been easy for them (or for me), but together, like glue, they have stuck together and held on.
And without them my life would not be as full. I don't just say that lightly, for without their help, I don't think our son would have been possible. (How many children ask their parents if they would like to make a financial investment in a grandchild? How many parents would say yes without hesitation?)
I have so many things to thank my parents for. And I wish I could do it with more than just words. But for now these words will have to be enough. Thank you Mom and Dad. Thank you and Happy Anniversary.
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