Not My Story...

 But it is my sorrow, although it cannot be as deep, as soul wrenching painful as it is for a friend who lost her husband and her grandbaby in a cruel instant at the end of April.

We've all seen too much death over the past several years.  Death from Covid.  Death from war.  I've experienced personal loss over the past two years, painful, but in some ways expected.  But when death sneaks into a friend's backyard it leaves me reeling.  It shocks and stuns in ways that I cannot imagine.

I have known pain and sorrow; I have lost grandparents, parents and a brother, but I cannot imagine her pain.  I cannot know the depths of her grief.  I only want to help her find comfort; a comfort that I don't know can be found.  It cannot be found today...can it be found in the future?  No answer...no answer

There are many things I do not understand; truths that I will not be able to grasp.

Everyone wants to jump in.  But should we be jumping?  Is now the time for respectful distance?  (What IS respectful distance?)  We all want to help, but what help can there be.  There is too much food.  There are too many flowers.  Can words on a card ease the pain? How many cards can the mailman pile into the box?  Do the words really mean anything?

 Wrapped in hugs, is there any feeling?  We all share the grief, but what will bring the family comfort?  There is no comfort.  Should we step away and allow space?  Should we draw near and blanket with care or is that smothering?

The need to comfort is great; the ability to do so is nonexistent.

Questioning, questioning.    Who can we be angry at?  Who can we blame?  How could God allow this to happen?  Why did God let this happen?  DID God let this happen?  There is no why.  There is no reason.  There is no.  Can we accept that?

Anger.  Frustration.  Sadness.  Eventual acceptance.  Time moves forward, can we?

How does the soul heal?  Will there be healing?  Do we pray for healing?  Is God/the universe listening?

No answers.  No right or wrong.  Time heals?  Maybe?

I hold you in my heart my friend.  I keep you in my prayers.  You are loved.  

Just breathe and move forward my friend.  Just breathe and move forward.


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