A Feel Good Tuesday


I'm feeling...happy (?!) today.  I'm not sure why.  There is no real reason, but when you feel it you feel it and you want to hang on to it.

There's no particular reason for this feeling.  I would think I would be grumpy this morning.  I went to bed later than usual; for no particular reason other than I didn't feel sleepy.  (Which is so not like me.)  I watched a very 70s movie on TCM last night (One is a Lonely Number -- whatever happened to Trish Van Devere?  I have a feeling I'll be going down that rabbit hole later and will know all too much by the time the day is through) and I should have been tired and turned it off (it wasn't that great a film in my opinion), I didn't.  And then I woke up at 3:30 and that seemed to be it for me.

I did Wordle (got it three...HOORAH!), Connections (bombed...even when I found out what the connections were I didn't really get it) and the Mini before going out for a walk.  (It was warm enough and dry enough to do so...something that probably won't be the case for the rest of the week.)  Although I am so much slower than I would like to be, I did manage to put in nearly 4 miles (nowhere near what I used to be able to do, but then I didn't feel the pressure to get back and get on a bus to an office).

I wasn't feeling particularly happy as I got ready for work, packing my lunch and deciding what pair of shoes might go best with today's outfit.  (Knowing how warm it is supposed to get I went for sandals.  It's supposed to be even warmer, but rainy tomorrow so who knows if sandals will be possible.  I hope so, but...)  And I was in a slight rush as I headed out the door.  (The NJ Transit always seems to say the bus is delayed, until it finally isn't.  I try to be out the door with 15 minutes to stop knowing that the bus can slow down or speed up.  Today, the "delayed" bus was actually right on what the print schedule says so...)  I was frustrated as I tossed a can into the recycling bin outside (waiting to get as much in there for pick up today) and it bounced out.

Yet for some reason as I headed to the bus stop, a sense of happy and calm filled me.  Is it the blue sky and the sunshine?  Is it the warm temperatures?  Is it the knowledge that my son has finished freshman year classes and in just over a week's time he will be home for the summer?  (With no real plans, other than a possible 5 week "gig" that he's done for several years, but that doesn't start for another 2 months.) Is it the knowledge that spring actually here (should I not have said that?) and that summer is on its way?  Is it a combination of all these things?

I don't know what it is.  But I'll take it.

I've found that the blues and blahs have been too much a part of my life recently.  Feelings of...lostness?  (Is that a word?)  Unease?  Frustration?  Malaise?  Ennui?  All or some of these have been following me around.  So when this lightness fills me; I'm going to do my best to hold onto it.

When whatever feels you with joy, happiness or just plain content, hold onto it as best you can.  For as long as you can.

Fingers crossed that I hold onto it for at least today.  I hope you (whoever or wherever you might be), are able to find it today too.



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