You Can't Please Everybody...

...and yet I stupidly keep trying.  I'd like to think that I'm not dumb, but this seems to be a lesson that I just can't learn.

Here we are in the midst of the holiday season again.  Christmas is close and Hanukkah is even closer.  In addition to the daily strife of life there are concerts and parties.  There are decorations to be put up and goodies to be baked.  There are cards to be sent.  (I think I am in the minority when it comes to holiday cards.  Not only do I still send them via snail mail, I also try and write by hand a brief note/greeting in each and every one of them.  Every year I send out more than I think I will; and hence every year I have to run back to the store and get more photos of the family with Santa which I insert in the cards.  Every year we see less and less cards in the mail.  Maybe I should give it up and send electronic cards.  It would save me some money and certainly clutter up the planet less, yet I just can't seem to give up this tradition.  Hopefully somewhere out there a friend is opening and enjoying our holiday message.)

It is only the beginning of December and already I am stressed out over promises that I have made that I wish I could take back.  Plans that I have made or agreed to that sounded good at the time, but I am not having second thoughts about.  I want everyone to be happy.

And in trying to do that, I make myself stressed out and miserable.

That's NOT what the holidays are supposed to be about.  Yet there it is.  And here I am again.  Why did I say yes to that?  How can I keep X happy without upsetting Y?  (The answer is very clearly; I can't.)  In order to keep the peace, I let myself be the one in internal chaos and turmoil.  

It's wrong. I very clearly know it.  And each year I fall into the same trap.  I'm struggling to find my way out and knowing that there really is no way to do so.

It's too late for me, at least for this year.  But perhaps someone out there can heed the advice that I can give, but haven't yet learned to take.  You can't' please everybody and you really shouldn't try. (Unless you want to get yourself stressed out and upset like me.)  Take stock before you commit to anything.  If there is something you don't HAVE to do, that is not essential to your holiday, pass it up.  Give yourself some peace this holiday.  Allow yourself to please YOU and not everybody else.

It's not easy.  As I've said, I've already fallen into the trap this year.  But there's always next year...(and maybe I need to read this blog post next fall to remind myself!)