When Holidays Collide on a Cold Winter's Day

 

It's Valentine's Day!  It's Ash Wednesday!  It's two, two, two great holidays in one.  (Does anyone remember that or am I dating myself.)  

It's also Wednesday which means I need to be in the office.  (Wednesday has always been a given.  The other two "required" days are of my choice, sort of,)  Since no one was in yesterday (snowstorm...something we haven't had around here in a long time), I knew I had to be here today.  Even though I didn't want to.

Though it was warm over the weekend (when I was stuck inside at the TWA Hotel...) it got cold Monday night and then the snow started to fall early Tuesday morning.  It's hard to say how much we got because it was (and is) windy, which means drifts.  I also knew that despite clearing up at midday, that getting to the bus was going to be a challenge.  And I was right.

While most of my neighbors cleared their walks (thank you!),  I chose to walk in the street so as to avoid any icy patches.  There was no cut out at the corner (how are those kids going to walk to school?), which meant I had to keep walking in the street.  The sidewalks on the main road were also not shoveled for the most part, which meant I walked on the side of the highway.  Getting across the street and to the bus stop again meant staying in the street.  Furthermore, I couldn't actually wait at the stop because it was covered in snow, so I walked down to the entrance for the gas station (a few feet away from the stop sign) so that I could get on the bus easier.  (The driver did a wonderful job pulling up.)

As we headed down the road to Newark, anyone who wanted to walk HAD to do so in the street.  There is no safe option:  walk on the ice packed snow (which spells catastrophe for me) or walk in the street.  I know the driver was extremely cautious as he drove and I pray that everyone else on the road is too.  It's NOT easy walking around after the snowfall; so on this first day of Lent as well as Valentine's Day, I'm trying to show grace.  

That just might be my word of the season.  Grace:  as a noun; courteous, goodwill and as a verb; do honor or credit to.  It's a word that fits both days.

The bus driver showed grace to a woman carrying several bags who got on the bus this morning.  She sat in the front across from me.  (I sit as close to the front as possible so that I don't have issues getting off.)  She didn't pay as she got on.  I assumed she was putting down her things and then would go back and pay him.  I (sort of) saw her rustle through her stuff, so it made sense.  However, she never did.  The bus driver tried to speak to her, but she pretty much ignored him.  When others asked him "are you speaking to me?" he said no.  She finally said, "I hear you...give me a minute."  But she never did pull out a pass or cash.  At least not as long as I was on the bus and that was a good 20 or so minutes.  The driver could have made an issue out of it.  He did not.  Any of the passengers could have made an issue; we did not.  Did we all not want to make an issue of it?  Probably.  (I'll admit that I would not want to "get into it" with this woman.)  Was it unfair to all of paid?  Maybe.  (Yes, you should pay to ride public transportation.)  Was it grace?  Probably not, but...

I thought of all of this when I got off the bus and went down to the city light rail.  There is almost always a woman sitting/sleeping on a bench there wrapped in a comforter.  She is obviously homeless.  I have never spoken to her.  In all fairness, most of the time I think she is sleeping, but...Today I saw a woman who was also waiting for the light rail, ask her if she wanted coffee (or perhaps she asked if she wanted money for coffee.)  The woman replied no and that was that.  However, the woman who made the offer showed a grace that I have NOT shown.

Which is more food for thought.  I don't like going to Newark.  I don't like having to commute.  I don't like having less time (because of the commute) to do work.  I don't like waiting for a bus on the way home.  I don't like the walk in the cold.  Today I also had the lightbulb moment (which I should have had before), that going to Newark also makes me uncomfortable because of the homeless situation.

I encounter the homeless every day that I go into the office and I don't know how I should respond.  There is a man who sits in the hallway that leads to the city subway and I usually give him the change I have in my pocket.  (I try to make sure I have change in my pocket.)  If someone is holding the door open for me, I usually give that person some change.  I usually smile and/or say hello to people I see as I walk to and from the station.  Do I do all of the above all the time?  No.  Do I feel guilt over that?  Sometimes.  Should I be doing more?  Probably.  What more could I do?  I don't know.

Perhaps this is the Lenten journey I should go on this year.  To do my best to show love/grace to those I encounter on my daily commute, even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.  (And I know it will.)  To let those who are often unseen know that they are seen.  To offer what change I might have and if I have none, to offer a smile (although I am often masked) and a kind word.  It's not a solution to the problem, but it IS being hospitable to all; even though it may make me uncomfortable.

This Valentine's Day I will try to sow love.  This Lent I will try to show grace.