Mixed Emotions

 

I never thought January would be such a rollercoaster ride when it came to emotions for me.  While this is the year I am seeking some sort of peace, I keep getting overwhelmed (now that should be my word) with all sorts of emotions and I'm having difficulty "centering" myself.

Take this past weekend for example.  I was anxious as I (along with my husband) went to the shore house.  Did water get into the house?  Did the frigid temperatures (following the flooding) result in burst pipes?  So I was a bag of nerves as we arrived.  And luckily, all seemed well.  (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2024/01/what-difference-week-makes.html)  I was able to relax.  I took a walk up to the beach (it was brutally cold).  A friend/neighbor invited me over to see her new house.  (Gorgeous just begins to describe it.)  My husband and I had a nice dinner.  I had some wine (so much for a dry January...I can at least say that it has been semi-dry as I have cut back significantly).  I felt so good, which is exactly what I wanted and needed.

Took a nice warm shower and climbed into bed early to watch some tv.  I was nice and cozy.  The only thing that annoyed me was the neighbor's blaring lights from across the lagoon that penetrates the darkness even with blinds.  All was well.

I did one more thing before I got into bed.  I turned down the heat, as I always do.  However, after about an hour, I noticed that even though I was under a warm comforter, I was getting cold.  When I went to grab my phone, IT was cold.  (Weird right?)  So I got out of bed and checked the thermostat.  It was colder than I had set the temperature for.  I turned it up.  Nothing happened.  I cranked it up all the way to 80+ and nothing happened.  So much for calm!

I got my husband out of bed.  He played with the thermostat and nothing seemed to happen.  I dug out the name of the HVAC company that my parents had used (I actually think I found them:  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/03/customer-service.html) and left a message.  Then I called my neighbor to find out who she used.  As I was on the phone with her, the company I wanted to use called back.  Turns out it's pretty small, as the owner called us and said he would be unable to get out that night.  However, he knew the system and directed my husband to go up  into the attic and turn the unit off and then on again. (Hmmm...why does this sound familiar).  The unit itself WAS working, it just didn't seem to be blowing.  Then we fiddled with the thermostat again and warm air started coming out of the vents.  HALLELUJAH!  The owner of the business said he would be out the next morning.

While things SEEMED to be working, I was still anxious.  We had to set the thermostat higher than we'd like in order for the system to go on.  It only seemed to like certain temperature settings.  It was an old-style thermostat (the round kind you turn) and my husband determined that the issue was not with the furnace (remember the insurance company thought it was over 20 years old and in poor condition and I proved to them that it was NOT) but with the thermostat.  It was only "catching" at certain points.  We slept, but I didn't sleep well.

The next morning, after coffee and during CBS Sunday Morning, a technician came to our front door.  We explained the situation and he thought the issue was the thermostat too.  However, he wouldn't be able to get and install until Monday.  However, we would not be there on Monday.  (I had to be in the office and my husband had bloodwork at the doctor's office.)  So we handed over the key and told him where to leave it when he was finished.

Before we left that day, we managed to get the heat down a little.  (If no one was going to be there, why have it so warm?)  I was still apprehensive, but what could I do?

Monday came and I got my husband to the doctor's office.  They were incredibly efficient and I was home in time to grab my backpack and catch the next bus on the corner.  I waited for about 10 minutes (because I am compulsive about being on time.)  I saw the bus, I activated my ticket (on my phone) and the bus blew past me, getting into the left lane even before it got to my stop/corner.  I was waving, but there was no way I could catch up to him NOR could I go out and cross two lanes of traffic to try and get him.  Instead I walked to another route's stop and waited there.  That bus was due in 15 minutes.  It did arrive and I did get to work, but the temperatures from Saturday through Monday were brutally cold.  My feet were frozen chunks of ice.  I was not happy.  (And yes, I did complain to NJ Transit about the issue and got a canned reply.  I hope they look into it.)

While I was at work, the technician came and installed a new thermostat.  At least I assumed he did.  Because my husband had set up cameras to monitor the OUTSIDE of the house, he could see him go in and then leave about a half an hour later.  I was still somewhat anxious since we weren't there and we couldn't go down that night to check things out as we had to bring my son back to college to start his second semester.  (Both "my guys" spent the day packing up the car...remember his dorm is undergoing renovations, so he had to move EVERYTHING out over the break and now it is time to move EVERYTHING back in.)  My plan on my day off was to get my son back to college and get everything into his new room (on a different floor and side than he was previously on) and then head down to the shore and check everything out.  Then we would have to head north again as I would have to be back in the office the next day.  It would be an exhausting "vacation" day.

So that's exactly what we did.  We left the house, making sure that we gave ourselves more than enough time for our slotted move in period.  Unfortunately, when we got there, not everyone was adhering to their time slots and we had to wait in a line of cars until we were allowed to go down.  This brought about some anger and frustration in all of us.  (Particularly my son who was anxious about getting in.  We sent our son down on foot first to try and get a cart to move in.  However, even though we had a wait, he still didn't have one by the time we were allowed to go down the hill.  (Parking in a "non" space as directed by security.)  His card key to his room was not ready either, but a staff member let him in and he and my husband lugged up some stuff while I waited at the car. (In the rain, of course.  It always rains when we go to the campus.)  By the time they came back, I was ready to carry everything, but luckily my son was able to snag a cart.  (I don't think he was following the protocol, but...)  We unloaded the car and loaded the cart.  All three of us went up to his new room (one floor below where he was previously) and checked out the "new" portion of the floor.  (His room had the "new" smell...that's not necessarily a good thing...isn't that all chemicals?)  We quickly said our goodbyes and took off...I'd say we were being polite so that the next person could take our spot, but in reality, I just wanted to get to the shore!

Leaving our son behind also left me with mixed emotions.  I miss him terribly, but I am happy because he is happy (although he won't admit it).  I'm proud because he did so well last semester.  I'm anxious because I know he will have a more difficult course.  I'm sad that the little boy is gone but am thrilled at the young man he has become.  The rollercoaster ride never ends.

Onward to the NJ shore.  We stopped to grab lunch at McDonalds (one of the nicest around and there's nothing like french fries to feed your emotions) before going to the house.  The house was warm. (Not hot!)  There was a nice new thermostat on the wall, set to the exact temperature I had requested and the key was left where I had requested.  My husband figured out how to raise the temperature and it worked!  Woo hoo!  We still have to work on programming it.  (That will be a weekend project.)  I was able to take a quick walk (and not freeze) before we got back on the road.  

It was after 4 when we got home.  All was calm...but not for long!  Hubby went into the sun parlor (which we had used as a storage room for my son's stuff when he was home) and...You can guess what happened right?  He didn't leave behind a box.  He didn't leave behind a bag.  He left behind his shower caddy with ALL his personal grooming/toiletries in it.  I went from calm to furious in under a second!  I called my son.  No answer.  I texted my son.  No answer.  Now I was really mad.  Should I get back in the car and deliver this to him?  Hubby had a better idea; go to the local UPS store and ship it.

So that's what we did.  And it was the right choice to make as shipping it cost less than it would have for us to drive back (only counting tolls and not including gas and wear and tear on the car).  The package would arrive the next day, which we informed our son when he called.  (I am ashamed to say that I really laid into him on this.)  He hadn't even noticed that it was missing.  However, being informed, he ended up walking to a local drug store and buying toiletries to tide him over.  It's not a short walk...just under two miles each way, with the walk back being uphill.  (Which is really steep).  I feel kind of proud that he took the initiative and made a plan.  (I wondered why he didn't go to the bookstore -- it was closed.)

Today, he starts his new classes.  He is nervous.  I'm a little nervous for him as I know this semester will be a challenge with courses that are not necessarily ones that he will like (but needs to take.)  But I'm mostly happy, knowing that he is equipped (or becoming equipped) to handle what college life has in store for him.  

And happiness is something that I need to hold onto whenever I can find it.  It's something we should ALL hold onto.  We all need it.