What Can You Do When You Can Do Nothing?


I recently found out that a friend of mine is very ill.  What can I do?  She cannot have visitors.  She isn't really eating. I'm not a medical professional. What is she in need of?  What can I do?  I feel like I can do nothing.

 I can say that the first thing I did when I heard was get angry.  Mad at the unfairness of it all.  Mad at myself for not keeping in touch.  Mad at her for not telling me directly.  (I found out through the grapevine.)  And while anger is not unwarranted; it definitely isn't going to help the situation.  The world is an angry enough place; I don't need to add to it.  Putting negativity out there is definitely not what I want to do.

 What can I do?  

 Well, I can STOP beating myself up for not keeping in touch.  What's past is past and I can't change what I've done (or what I haven't).  What I CAN do is be present.  I can be available.  I can make it known that I am here should she want or need anything.  Even though I cannot be physically there for her (at least at this time), I can be there when she needs someone.

 I can also be positive.  I can try to lift her spirits with phone calls or emails.  At this point, I believe she prefers email.  And it's what SHE wants which is important.  So I will send emails to check in, to tell her funny stories and general life news.  With long and exhausting treatments most every day, the least I can do is provide her with something to at least smile about.  The opportunity to read something from me, but with no obligation to reply.

 I can also pray.  Even if I did not believe in the power of prayer, I could send out positive thoughts into the universe.  Positive energy may not be "healing" per se, but it can be helpful.  I don't expect my prayers to suddenly make her healthy.  But I can and will pray for all of the following:

  • That her treatments are healing and not too taxing
  • That she have strength when she needs it.
  • That those who are treating her do so with love and compassion
  • That she find rest
  • That she find peace and calm in the middle of this storm
  • That she find laughter 
  • That she know that she is loved

I will also pray for the following:

  • Her family:  for strength, patience and faith
  • Her caregivers:  for knowledge and compassion
When I think of her, I will remember the laughter we have shared.  I will remember the good times.  I will send all of those thoughts out into the universe.  

When the time comes that I can do "something," I will.  For now, this is what I CAN do when I can do nothing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Have Taken America Back

Image
Back to a time when all men (and women) are not created equal.  Where women's healthcare is determined by men's laws and not by medical professionals. Where education tells only the "winning" side of the story and truth does not matter.  Where banning and burning books is a social event.  Where people who are "different" than those in power can be mocked, shunned and hurt with no real consequences. Where lies are acceptable and integrity is  just a word on a page We have moved into a time where rage is the rage.  Where hate is not just normal, but accepted and even cheered. Where leaders can ask to have their "enemies" killed and no one will bat an eye.  Where it's "funny" to see someone struggle.  Where felony is applauded. Where compassion is not shown and caring for others is looked down upon. We have taken America back to a time of pain and suffering for many.  Back to when the "haves" can have and the have nots don'...
Read more

It's Not About Starbucks (or is it)?

Image
  About a block and a half from my home in a major intersection.  At the southeast corner (which is nearest to me), is an empty building.  Back in 1995 it was a Bank of NY (I remember this because they didn't shovel/de-ice their parking lot well and my husband fell and broke his ankle one Monday morning.  I recall this clearly because we were not yet married and it was the first day of a new job for me.  I had gotten on the bus to work and he was catching a later one; only he never got there.  Instead he ended up laying on the ground until an employee came to open up the bank.  Then he had them call an ambulance AND my mother who took control of the situation until I arrived home that night blissfully unaware of what had happened that day.)  It eventually became a Chase Bank; the second one in my small little town.  It eventually closed.  I'm not sure when but it's been empty for quite a long time.  (I do know that it was open in 20...
Read more

As Is

Image
  Today I want to discuss what I think it is a relatively simple concept, but may be difficult for some, even an attorney who might have once, over a decade ago won a  prestigious award  for young lawyers .  That term is "AS IS." As you may know, I volunteer in a thrift shop.  Everything we sell, from all the donations we receive, is "as is."  The items are not brand new.  They are not perfect.  That doesn't mean they aren't any good or worth something. They are sold "as is."  Buyers should go in knowing that. (After all you are shopping in a thrift shop!)  In some cases, particularly when we are offering higher end products, we will actually write on the price tag, "as is." Such is the case of two designer purses that I purchased from there this summer.  (I'm a purse-aholic!  Don't look in my closet.)  They were reasonably priced (especially when you consider the name brand), but each had an "as is" clearly marked o...
Read more