Welcome?

 

Apparently Saturday was the annual sanderling regetta that was renamed in my parents' honor just two  years.  My parents were a driving force behind this annual race, not just for years, but for decades.  To them it was perhaps the most important event that the club they had joined and been extremely active in since the 1970s (yes, even before they had a residence there) hosted. In 2022, the year that my mother died (just 21 days before the race), I spoke to the group of sailors and members present:  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2022/07/pseudo-memorial-3.html.  Then last year, just 28 days after my father's passing, I was invited back with my family and had these thoughts:  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2023/07/message-to-sailors-of-47th-annual.html.

I had been thinking about the event as we came towards the end of July.  However, when I looked on the ogranization's website, there was no mention of it.  It was not on the sailing or "social" calendar.  It wasn't mentioned in the commodore's annual letter.  I had to assume, based on my knowledge of the organization over the past 30+ years, that they were not going to move forward.  Sailing at the yacht club has taken a back seat to social events and afternoons and evenings at the bar.  No one had reached out to me since the prior year.  (Although I had spoken to a former comodore and member on July 4th at a town event and told him that I could no longer afford to keep the house and that I was selling it.)  So it wasn't so far fetched figure that like many other things, this event had "sailed off into the sunset."

I was wrong.  The only reason I know I was wrong was because I got a text on Saturday morning from a club employee (perhaps I should say THE club employee...not because he is the only one, but because he has run the place for decades and knows more about the place and the people than any one else might.)  along with the photo that heads this blog.  The text read:  "Thinking of you today."  It was quite touching to know that SOMEONE was and that this person (who my parents thought of as an extended member of the family) cared enough about them (and me) to take a few minutes out of his busy day (and believe me that's putting it mildly), to convey this message to me.  No one else at this establishment where my parents were active members (both socially and as sailors) for decades and where I had been married nearly 28 years ago had bothered to take the time.  (I will state very clearly that I was NEVER a member, but I did help out when I was around for various races.)    The powers that be may be very active socially, but they never seemed welcoming, even though my family and I had been present for decades before they joined/took over.

I would have liked to have been welcomed to the event which honored my mother and father, but...

However, yesterday was not a complete "social washout" for me. I had been invited to another event, not at the NJ shore, but practically in my own back yard. Friends/neighbors were celebrating their 20th wedding anniverary with a renewal of their vows.  I have known this family since they moved to our block approximately 15 years ago.  We do not have all that much in common.  They are much younger than we are (my husband and I are actually closer in age to their parents...which makes me feel REALLY old).  The one thing we DO have in common is that our son and their oldest daughter (they have 4 children)  are the same age.  Though the have different interests (she is an AMAZING athelete;  our son is more of a theater arts kid), they were (and are) good friends.  As a result, they have welcomed us into their extended family.  And for every event they have hosted (and there have been a lot of parties and celebrations), we have been embraced with love and friendship.  They have been there for my family; I have NEVER had to ask for their assistance, they were just there.  I love them for that (how could you not) and I have tried to do the same.  They may be younger, but I have learned a great deal from them.  They are a caring and compassionate and as a result so are their children.  They stand for their own.  I KNOW they always have my back and I would do the same for them.

And while you may say this is because we've known each other for over a decade now, while time may have brought us closer, they have ALWAYS been welcoming and accepted.  And they are that way to all.  You've have to burn them (or their family) pretty hard for them not to show you love and care.  A lot of people may espouse "Christian values," this family lives it.  And I don't mean that they attend church regularly; I have no idea of the go or not... I just know that to me they live and treat others as humans SHOULD be treated.  They are the embodiment of Matthew 25:31-45  (go ahead look it up.)

I am grateful that I and my family have been so welcomed.  We did not have to be and yet we are.

One weekend/day: an opportunity to be welcomed squandered and a opportunity of welcome that was warmer than an embrace.  One I am disappointed by (but not surprised) and one that was a joy and reminds me of what humanity can and should be.  One door shut, and another that I know will never be closed. How grateful am I for that?