Commandment #5


 There's been a lot of talk about the 10 commandments recently, with a push in certain states to have them posted in public schools.  Although I (try to) follow the 10 commandments, I don't think a school is the place for them, especially when those who are enforcing this on students probably can't name them all (without peaking) or even follow them themselves.  But that's not what this post is about...

This post is about Commandment #5; honor your father and mother.  (I didn't even have to look it up; I KNEW it was the 5th...so take that!)  

There are times or situations where #5 does not apply.  (How can you honor your father and/or mother if they are abusive?)  But I'm going to "speak" in broader terms and as it relates to me and my situation.  (As they say, your mileage may vary.)

Both of my parents have passed away.  While they were alive, I tried to honor them.  I probably didn't do such a hot job as a child, but as an adult,  I generally think I did okay.  (Come on, let's face it, to follow the 10 Commandments perfectly is something that a saint can't even do.  However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try!)  As they aged and needed my help, I did my best to follow their wishes.  I particularly think of my father who had a specific way of writing checks and paying bills.  Each deposit or debit had to be entered into a ledger and depending on what the entry was, it was entered in the ledger in a specific color pen.  It HAD to be done that way.  It drove me crazy at times, but I did it.  Well, I did it for at least 5 of the 7 months that I was in "charge."  It was what my father wanted and so it is what I tried to honor.

In death I have tried to honor them too.  This is especially true as I clean out the shore house as it has been sold.  There are too many items for me to take or keep and so I have tried to find people who would appreciate and/or need said items.  For example, there was a large, framed photo in the den which showed my father and 2 other men sailing on the bay.  I made sure it got to the person who owned the boat.  My real estate agent admired a clock in the den.  She has been not just a good agent, but a good neighbor and so I asked her to take it, along with print in the house which featured the bay.  Her home faces the water and I will no longer have a home on the jersey shore.  It makes sense for me to give it to her.  I know she likes them and they will have good use in her house.  They will remind her of my parents.  And as for me, I feel like I am honoring my parents.

Losing a parent is hard.  Losing both is even more so.  Yet I can honor them with thoughtful consideration of what they have left behind.  While I cannot control what will happen to the house once it is turned over to the new owner, I can keep items that have meaning to me and share those that don't necessarily mean something to me, but would be of value to someone else.

I am trying to honor my parents.  I know I have failed several times.  (There are things that have gone to the trash or have been donated to the thrift shop.)  But I tried.  And I will keep trying.

We should follow commandment #5 as best we can.  Remember, that sometimes "father" and "mother" can also apply to grandparents, aunts, uncles and even those who are not related by blood.  We don't just do it for them, we do it for ourselves.  It makes us better people.


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