The Last Time

 As I write this, my days at the NJ shore are coming to an end.  The sale is not complete, no money has exchanged hands, but we are getting very close.  I met with my attorney today (my first time meeting her face to face) and signed a lot of papers.  There is still plenty of room for glitches and issues, but I am somewhat hopeful that this matter is wrapping up.

And that's bittersweet.  My mother purchased this home nearly 30 years ago.  I have been the official owner (and payer of taxes and utilities) for almost a year.  And now that is coming to a close.

This weekend has been tiring.  It had always been my intention to wrap things up on Friday/Saturday.  My husband and I arrived here around six in the morning.  (After stopping at Wawa for coffee.)  His job was to pack up the remaining glassware.  My job was to make sure we were ready for the movers.  (As well as doing my "real" job; working remotely.)

The movers arrived later than I expected.  (Later than they expected I suspect as well.)  I showed them what was going to stay and what was going to go.  I also let them know if there were any items that they might want for themselves (including tools that could be found in the shed), they were welcome to them.  Then I went to work, while they did their work.

The process did not take much more than an hour and then after I provided a check for their services, they drove away with my items (which will be going into storage for a while).  As my wonderful real estate agent arranged for a bulk item pick up on Monday, we got to work removing any leftover items that were in the attic (which despite it being cooler today than it has been for several week was still incredibly hot) and the shed.  I have to say that much of what was found in the attic DID NOT belong to my family, but were left over from the previous owner.  (Who owned the house from 1958 -1995.)

I did a little more cleaning out of the house, which while it does still have furniture in it, is pretty empty.  

It was not a particularly hot day.  It was a relatively quiet day (as far as days go down here).  And it was my last full day.  My last day in this house.  My last day in this town.  My last day.

I went to the beach this evening to watch the lifeguard tournament.  I was reminded of the last time I watched this contest.  Back when my son was shorter than I was.  (How long ago was that.)  I watched as the guards from various towns dive into the surf and show their stuff.  (I'm not sure who won; for me it didn't really matter.)

As I walked home, I thought about all the summers, all the years that I've spent here.  Summers that I loved.  Summers that I hated.  Times when I didn't fit in.  (I'll never fit in.) Times when I walked the beach, with the sun on my face and surf on my feet.  Knowing that the universe is wonderous because of the sun, sand and surf.  Watching the birds fly.  Watching the sun rise.  Watching the sun set.

I've thought back on all the places we rented when I was a child.  The houses on Broad Avenue (I believe there were 3).  The house on 4th.  The house on Norman Court.  The house on 7th.  The houses on Lake Court.  The house on Lake Court that my mother was finally able to buy; and now that I have sold.  Leaving little behind and knowing that shortly after I go there it will be no more.

I am sad.  I am also relieved.  I will pack up the last of my belongings tomorrow and drive away.  I will not return.  (Okay, I can't be 100% certain of that, but it is not likely.)  I will leave the past behind.  I will move on.  As we all must.

As for today, I will cherish what it was.  I will cherish what was and be grateful for what is to come.