Dear Dad: One Year...


Dear Dad,

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of your death.  However, it was today that I found out.  You passed away late on the 1st, but my phone never rang and I didn't find out until I looked at my phone early (early-ish) on the morning of the 2nd.  I'm still not sure if that was a blessing or not?

I wanted to write this yesterday, but things got out of hand.  This whole past week (and then some) has been pretty crazy.  Last Monday my FiL had hip surgery.  (I know you wanted hip surgery to take away the pain you were in, but you weren't strong enough and I don't know if that would have actually helped with the multitude of issues that made your last years so difficult.)  Last Tuesday my co-worker of nine years was made redundant.  (I had known her for 9 years.  She worked for the company for about 20.  Of course since the corporation that we were hired by was purchased 4 years ago, I guess we both have only been employed for 4 years?  It's all so confusing.)  That made my work anniversary on Friday (I've just entered my 9th year, where did the time go?) all the more difficult.  Wednesday my FiL was released from the hospital (how amazing is all this new technology that you can be in and out with a hip replacement so quickly?) and your sister finally got to see her PCP to see if SHE could get hip surgery.  (There seems to be a trend here.)  Of course she had to get clearance from even more doctors before that can be considered  (something that you went through all too often).  Then on Thursday night when I got home from work, I got the third quarter tax bill for the shore house...

And that's where everything fell apart...or maybe fell into place?  I knew that I couldn't afford to keep the shore house forever.  I hoped, but...I've paid a year's worth of taxes, utility bills, replaced appliances, purchased beach badges...I knew I couldn't keep it up, but I didn't know how quickly it would all slap me in the face.

So I texted our neighbor. (NOT RK...Per your wishes, and mom's as well, I would NEVER do that.  Not just because you told me not to, but because I knew he was not the right person for the job). As I suspected, she is the RIGHT person for this difficult task.  She is a strong and determined woman.  She has not just set the wheels in motion, but gone all in.  She is exactly what I NEED as I navigate this process. 

And what a whirlwind process it has been!  I've texted, talked and met with her.  (Driving down on a Sunday to start clearing out a few things to give me some semblance of control.)  The house is listed, the sign is on the lawn (will that send RK through the roof?)  and even though photos haven't been taken yet  (believe that's later today), she has 3 walk throughs on Friday.  (Should I be surprised that there isn't a showing on the 4th of July?)  

The three of us, along with your grandson's girlfriend, will be there for the 4th.  (Actually going down on the 3rd, which is when I thought I might start the ball rolling, but KE, our neighbor and agent has already not just gotten it rolling, but the game has started.)  I wanted to stay down for the whole weekend, but in addition to Friday, there will be an open house over the weekend, so... (Plus your grandson and his girlfriend both have p/t jobs.)

This is all happening so fast and I want it that way.  If it must be done (and it must), then let's get it done.  I need to move on, so let me move!

I know (hope?) that you and mom understand.  This is not easy, but it is the right thing for me, for you SiL and your grandson.

If you have any guidance...I'll try to keep my ears, eyes and mind open for signs...

I Love You.

Me


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