S'no Patience

I think I've officially become a grumpy old woman.  (Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau have NOTHING on me.) This first bitter blast of snow has turned me into what was once known as a "crotchety old lady."  I can't help myself.  I bitch and complain.  As a norm, I try NOT to complain.  I usually TRY to see the bright side, but when it comes to cold and snow I just can't see it.  I've got that ugly frowny face down pat.

I know I said, and I intended, to take it easy this past weekend. The blizzard came and there was nothing I could do about it.  So I stayed safe inside and I intended to do many things; very few of which happened.  (Although I did find time to make a nice roast for dinner and the house did smell terrific while it was cooking.)  Even being "trapped" inside, I found that I had more "little chores" than I had anticipated and my happy, cheery self started to fade away.

Relatively early on Sunday morning I made my way outside to start to clean up the mess that the storm had left behind.  With gusty winds, there were drift everywhere, especially in front of my front door.  I could only my storm door a few inches and had to squeeze my way out.  My first job was to clear the snow from the front door so that my son could get out and help me clear up the steps.  Only then could my husband get out and start up the snow blower. The three of us worked non-stop for a good two hours before calling it quits.  We all went out in shifts later in the day totaling several more hours of work, but even when we were "done" there was still patches of snow around.  (And this was after the help of a neighbor who was generous enough to run her industrial strength snow blower up and down the block.)

It's just two days after the storm and I have “s'no patience” for this winter any more.  The cold slows me down and makes every little thing just a bit more difficult.   Let me bitch for a moment or two here (no skipping this paragraph, ok?)  Getting out of that warm bed is harder than ever with the dark and cold.  Doing a boring exercise video instead of going for a walk (which always clears my head) is getting old fast.  With the snow and ice the simple act of getting a morning paper becomes a complicated task.  Layer up. (Boots that never seem to want to go on quickly; coats with zippers that get stuck.) Warm up the car.  Scrap/defrost the windshield. (There is no way of getting my car back in the garage.  Backing down the driveway is like going down a toboggan shoot and the thought of walking down the dark slick driveway in the morning is like asking to slip and fall.)  Carefully pull the car out (avoiding all the snowbanks the surround me).  Make my way out of the street and onto the main roads.  Pulling out carefully as the snow mounds obscure oncoming traffic.  Park the car.  Carefully get out and avoid the ice and snow piles and make my way into the store.  Get and pay for the paper.  Carefully go back out to the car, again avoiding the ice and snow.  Carefully back out of the lot.  Carefully pull out and try to see if there is any traffic coming behind the mounds of snow.  And so it goes.  What is usually a 5 minute process when I walk turns into a 10-15 chore.

To continue my whiny rant:  there's the process of getting the kids to school and getting to work.  The kids can't walk.  There are still plenty of sidewalks that are not shoveled.  Were sidewalks are shoveled; there are no curb cut outs so they couldn't get across the street if they tried.  And my morning (and evening) commute becomes elongated as traffic crawls along.  Two lane roads are down to one.  Buses have to stop in the middle of the street to pick up passengers who have to crawl over snow mounds to get to the bus (unless they are already waiting in the street having made their way out through an opening from a business's driveway up the block).  Cars back up as someone attempts to make a left turn and there is no way to go around.  Once I've arrived at my destination I've got to try and find a parking space that is clear.  Such a thing does not exist in the complex, so I, like everyone else, parks as best I can (without pulling completely into a snowbank) and pray that the trucks that whiz around will not hit me.  (As one did last year; went into work with an intact bumper and came out 8 hours later with a cracked bumper with no way of knowing who or what hit me.)

It is clear that when it comes to winter, and more specifically snow, I have "S'no" patience.  (Yes, I know it's a bad pun, but with the mood you're lucky I came up with a pun at all.)  Snow and cold turn me into a grumbling, frowning meanie.  Maybe I need one of those signs for my car that doesn't read:  Baby on Board (or for those who remember The Partridge Family Bus:  Caution:  Nervous Mother) but one that clearly states:  Use Extreme Caution:  Grouch Driving.  I'd be sure to keep it up there till the spring thaw.