That's how I feel this morning:  scattered, out of focus, off.

It might have something to do with lack of sleep.  I know April showers bring May flowers, but I didn't know April also brought blasting winds and even snow!  (I live in NJ, not Canada!).  This is supposed to be spring break!  (Although not for me.  The rest of the family is off enjoying the time in Washington, DC, I am  holding down the fort and working.  Although if I had known at the time of making reservations and holiday plants that I would only be working part time, I might have made a different decision.  But my quest for full time employment to support the family so that we can ALL go away on a nice vacation is a whole other blog/story.)

We all know about the wacky weather.  While I may have been sunning myself over the weekend and gotten a nice little glow, when I woke up around 1:30 this morning, the winds were knocking the lawn chairs over and what was left standing was covered in snow.  Not a lot of snow mind you, but snow none the less.  The winds rattled the house and the temperature inside (as well as out) dropped so that the furnace needed to kick back on.  No amount of soothing music could get me back to sleep.  (Not even the "Spa" station on Sirius XM which is soothing enough to put you out for hours.)  The sleet beat against the house and I snuggled up against my favorite fleece sheets, but even they did not comfort me as they usually do.

Since it was dark and cold, my brain functioned on the late night stress level.  If I fall sleep within the next half hour I could still get 3 hours of sleep...2-1/2 hours of sleep...2 hours of sleep.  Clock watching is the worst thing to do, and yet we all do it when we can't sleep, don't we?  And worries always creep in, ones that make sense (how do I pay all the bills on a part time salary) and ones that do not (what if the furnace doesn't kick in).

I found out this morning that today is National Stress Awareness Day.  I am well aware of the face that I am too stressed out.  That I let life stress me out despite all the wonderful things that are around me.

Stress, lack of sleep...I'm going to be a little scattered today.  But with a cup of coffee (not the good stuff that my husband usually makes since he's away.  His coffee brewing skills are just one of the reasons I love him.) and the light of day, I'll get myself focused again.

I'll reluctantly pull out a turtleneck and sweater to wear today.  And dig out the winter coat that I had hoped to take to the dry cleaners.  But maybe later today I will.  Maybe I'll even get myself a pedicure.  Because it's mid-April and the snow can't last for long.  My feet will be uncovered again soon and in all honesty, a good pedicure is a great way to relax and get myself back into focus.

The sun is up. The wind is dying down.  The snow will melt.  I will find answers to the few problems that I have and let my stressed, out of focus thoughts scatter themselves away to the day.


  1. I've actually turned to Ambien for those crazy nights, I was just too tired of not sleeping and being awake from 2-5am every single night.


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