How Am I?


The other day I heard from a friend through social media.  This was an actual friend; someone I've known for a long time, not just a "social media friend."  We were once very close, but our paths diverged and we're not in touch that much and we haven't physically seen each other in a very long time.  (That's even before Covid) We don't send each other Christmas cards (even electronically). Nonetheless, we do "see" each other on social media frequently.  (How can you not?)

We don't message each other much; the last time we "talked" that way was in 2020.  So I was a little surprised to hear from her.  Her message started about by inquiring about a "rumor" that she heard from mutual friend (someone I know personally, but she only knows through social media) that I had access to some video that she was interested in.  Then as a follow up she (casually) asked:  "How you and what are are you doing for Christmas?"

How am I?

If you've been following this blog you probably know the answer to that.  If you don't  (or maybe even if you do you'll indulge me), well...While I try to be positive (, I'm not doing that great.  I'm stressed out. (I know, who isn't?)  It's the last month of the year which is traditionally the busiest time of the year for me at work and this year it seems to be even crazier than usual. I'm working crazy hours to keep up.  Additionally both of my parents are having health issues (again, if you follow this blog you know that and you're probably pretty darned tired of reading about it) and I've been spending a lot of time with them trying to help out and get them full time care.  (Something that we just pulled off this past weekend, which is a blog post unto itself and if I have the time or energy, maybe I will get around to writing it.)  Furthermore, I've been trying to work with my son to figure out what courses he'll want and NEED to take for his senior year in high school (how the heck did that happen?)and start looking at some colleges.  (And of course figure out how to pay for that.) 

How am I?  I am stressed out to the max most of the time, but I don't have time to think about that.  There's too much going on to focus on that.  

What am I doing for Christmas?  That's at the end of the week, which is very far away and also very close.  What day is Christmas?  I never thought I'd say this, but I have no friggin' clue.  I don't even know what we are having for Christmas dinner. To tell the truth, I'm barely sure what I am doing tomorrow.  I have to keep checking my calendar to see what meetings/conference calls I have.  To look at the notes of things that have to be done that I'm bound to forget about.  (Like how I need to get my oil changed and I keep meaning to call the service station, but I haven't written it down and hence I haven't called I try to get in this week or do I wait until next week? ) 

What am I doing for Christmas?  It's a day I'm hoping that I get to sleep in.  These days that means sleeping till 6.  If I stay up really late (and for me that means after 10 at night) maybe I'll sleep in till 7.  Or maybe I won't because with all the stuff that's going on my brain tends to wake me up and there's no going back to sleep. (Obviously which is why this is being posted before 6 in the morning) I keep promising myself that I catch a nap (I DO get a lunch break; even if I rarely take it). That nap never happens.  (But I do keep trying.)

How am I?  What am I doing for Christmas?  My honest answer...I have no idea.  I'm surviving.  That's how I am and what I am doing for Christmas.  I am surviving.

As for that video...well don't have it.  Never did.  I'm not even sure that I have access to it. The guy that I've been married to for 25 years and who's been doing his best to mentally and emotionally support me through all of the insanity that has been thrown at me just might.  But he's got too much going on in HIS life (like trying to keep me from going off the deep end) for me to ask him about it. 

So how are you?  Merry Christmas!


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