The Virus Diary: Mom Thoughts PSAT Day
Today, as I understand it (and I very well could be wrong), the majority of my son's classmates will be in school taking the PSAT. My son is NOT among them. This was a family decision and was influenced by a variety of thoughts and experiences. Our decision was for us, just as those who are taking this test today made the decision (hopefully) based on what was best for them.
I may be in my 50s but I took
the PSAT and SAT when I was in school. I didn't do well. Even after
I took some sort of (paid) preparation course I only did marginally
better. I hated sitting there taking this test that made no sense to
me...comparing words and doing math problems. (There was no essay portion
back then.) I was not planning on going to a highly competitive
school. Ivy League was never in my plan for my future. I am
relatively intelligent; I am NOT highly intelligent and I am NOT cut out for
the intensity of serious academics. I am not putting myself down; this is
just me as I am. I did relatively well in high school (although I barely
passed Algebra II). If I recall correctly I was in the top 15% of my
class. I went on to college (as was expected at the time) to major in one
thing (nursing) and ended up majoring in another (communications). I
did okay academically, but was not a shining star. There were classes,
both in high school and college, that had a great impact on me and to this day
I hold dear. There are classes that I took (several required) that were a
total waste in my opinion. I have held down a variety of jobs since then.
I support my family of three and am a productive member of society (or so I
think). My life experiences and my actions over the past 50+ years are what
define me as a person.
My son did take some sort of
precursor to the SAT (maybe it was a pre-PSAT?) last year. He didn't do
that well. Or so I recall; I really don't remember that much about it and
it made no impact on me. However, this test did reiterate what I already
knew; my son is not a great test taker, especially when it comes to
standardized tests. I have known for years (probably since pre-school)
that my son was not a great academic. He is intelligent, but he is not a
scholastic achiever. I have always said, with a sense of pride, that my
son is average, at least when it comes to academics. And while I push him
(too much at times) to achieve and do as well as he can when it comes to
school, he is NOT going to be in the top 15% of his class. He's going to
be somewhere in the middle; maybe a little above and maybe a little
below. (Not unlike what his PARCC [remember those?] results told me.)
So what is the point of the
PSAT/SAT? My results all those years ago did not reflect how I was going
to do in college or show what I really knew and did not know. The same
can be said for my son. While I admit I'm biased; he's a great
person. (Well most of the time; he is a teenager after all.) I am
confident that he will do well in the world. I'm pretty sure that he's
not going to be rock star in the field of mathematics or engineering.
He's a good artist, but I doubt as if he's going to be having his work
auctioned off at Christies. He may go to college or he may not.
This is NOT shocking and it IS a change of thinking for me and for all of
us. I'm not sure that college is the right thing for him. I'm okay
with my son not going to college. And that's a BIG CHANGE in my way of
thinking from just a few years ago.
If he does go to college, I
know that he will do fine. Just like he always has. That's not to
say that there won't be bumps in the road. There will be. That is
just life.
He will find his way and
(continue to) be a productive person in our society. I hope that he will have a
good (whatever that might be) and happy life.
None of this depends on
SATS. None of this depends on where he goes to college (if he goes to
college). It does for some, but not so much for my average ordinary son.
Now, will be take the SAT at
some point? Despite the fact that "as of March 20, 2020, no American
colleges or universities require all high school applicants to submit SAT
Subject Test scores" (taken
from https://www.sparkadmissions.com/) he probably will. His score
will not be one that will wow any university. (And I say this even if we
do opt to spend the bucks to take a "preparedness course." Insert
sigh and eye roll here.)
Will he go to college?
Probably? Maybe right out of high school or maybe not. Who
knows? If we have learned ANYTHING over this past year, it is that what
we once had to have, we really don't. What is "essential" might
not be. What we consider important, might not be at all and that the
little things are not really that little. Understanding and learning that
might just be more important than any test we could ever take.
My daughter was not ready for college when she graduated high school and I was upset. I had to accept her decision not to attend. Instead she went to cosmetology school and started a career as a hair stylist. While a stylist she participated in a program called "One night to shine." One Night to Shine is an unforgettable prom night experience, centered on God’s love, for people with special needs ages 14 and older. After that night she realized that she wanted to work with special needs children. She got a job as an aid at Spectrum 360 and loved the work. She then realized that to continue with the work she needed to go to college. She started taking classes at night and she realized that she wanted to be an occupational therapist. She quit work and started to go to school full time and she recently graduated as an occupational therapy assistant. Today she got her license as a COTA and she is so happy. She is looking for a job and thinking of going for a masters degree in OT. I could never have predicted this. I thought she would be a hair stylist and that was fine with me as she gave me free hair cuts. Children have to find their own way. We can guide them but the choice needs to be theirs.
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