A Case of Guanopsychosis

I was talking to a friend who I have known since high school (so we're talking DECADES) who is having a problem with a toxic relative.  Besides being besties for eons, we both have had the (dis)pleasure of having to deal with people whose version of reality vastly differs from ours.  People who are so delusional they are on a different plane.  Or as my friend succinctly put it:  Bat Shit Crazy.

But we both thought that the phrase didn't quite cover it.  It went beyond that.  We needed a better term.  And when you need a better term, you go to the internet and find something.  Hopefully something better.  And something better is what I found with "Guanopsychosis."

What a perfect term!  Something you could use in polite conversation.  It certainly makes you sound intellectual.  My sister-in-law is guanopsychotic certainly sounds clinical and lacks insult.  And yet...

The beauty of the word is that most people won't even know what guano is.  Do you? Or did you before you started reading this?  If you DO know what guano is, my bet is that sometime in your life you were forced to read Joseph Conrad's Lord Jim. (I say forced because no one in their right mind would actually read the novel for pleasure.)  Since both my friend and I had to read Lord Jim in high school and often giggled in class over the island of guano mentioned in the book, the term is perfectly perfect. (I also freely admit that it was the ONLY book I DID not read in my entire scholastic career because I couldn't stand it.  I read Crime and Punishment cover to cover as dictated by the course in English, but Lord Jim I could barely get past the first few chapters!  Joseph Conrad just never did it for me.  Take that Heart of Darkness!)

I WISH I could say I came up with the term.  I'd LOVE to take credit for it, but all I can take credit for is using it and encouraging YOU to use it and more importantly AVOID it.

In everyone's life there will fall some guanopsychosis.  It's your job NOT to get caught up in it.  When you are faced with someone who is guanopsychotic, you need to realize it and approach that person carefully and NOT let their toxicity seep into your life.  Remember, YOU need to take care of your needs.  You may want to help someone who is guanopsychotic and that's admirable, but you need to take care of yourself first and foremost.  Perhaps you can help, but most likely you can't.  The best thing you can do is be as sane and objective as you can be.  (A nearly impossible task, I know!)  If possible get the guanopsychotic some professional help; or at least recommend it.  DO NOT let guanopsychosis invade your life.  You are important; your sanity is important!

That is worth saying again:  YOUR SANITY IS IMPORTANT!

Though it may not be a real clinical diagnosis, guanopsychosis is REAL.  Avoid it at all costs.  Because the last thing you need is for the guano to hit the apparatus with rotating blades that creates a current of air for cooling or ventilation.