Ash Wednesday: New Beginnings.
Today starts the somber season of
Lent. I'm hoping that this will be a time of reflection and
thoughtfulness for me. To that end, in addition to giving up chocolate
and alcohol (which has almost become rote for me...I've been giving up
chocolate for over 20 years now and I've been giving up alcohol for at least 2
years), I'm also TRYING to give up foul language. (I have already failed
at this several times this morning...it's going to be a real challenge for
me. That's not something I am proud of. I don't recall always
having these words fly out of my mouth without any thought, but more and more I
find it happening; and that's not good in my book.)
The
whole idea, at least for me, in giving up for Lent is a practice in
mindfulness. I am sorry to say that I much of the time I am NOT
mindful. Not mindful of what I put into my body, but perhaps even more
important, not mindful of what comes out. The words that I say; the
expressions behind them are all too often careless on my part. This was
all too apparent this morning as I drove to work. My focus is getting on
where I need to be and the frustrations of traffic and those NOT focused on the
road have brought me stress and frustration. Out of that comes
language. Before I could even think (there's the key
word right there), words came tumbling out of my mouth. I heard
them. There I was only a few hours into Ash Wednesday and already I was
failing.
But
I reminded myself, Lent is a time of reflection. It is not a time to
think of failures or success. It is a time to make a fresh start and
listen.
Looking
upon the lectionary readings for today, Psalm 51 reminded me of this: "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot
out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and
cleanse me from my sin...Cleanse me
with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash
me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let
me hear joy and gladness; let the ones you have crushed rejoice. Hide
your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a
pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast
me from your presence or
take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of
your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to
sustain me."
In
these 6+ weeks before Easter, I plan to make every attempt to TRY and be more
mindful. To listen before I speak. To THINK before I speak.
To live each day with awareness. And when I err (because you KNOW I will;
I KNOW I will), to pause, reflect and go on.
I
want to make this a MEANINGFUL Lent. I want to come away from these 40+
days WITH something. (I'm not sure what that something might look like,
but...) I want to come away from this time changed. And the only
way to do that (at least for me) is to be mindful. As I go down this
Lenten path, I pray: "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
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