Ash Wednesday: New Beginnings.



Today starts the somber season of Lent.  I'm hoping that this will be a time of reflection and thoughtfulness for me.  To that end, in addition to giving up chocolate and alcohol (which has almost become rote for me...I've been giving up chocolate for over 20 years now and I've been giving up alcohol for at least 2 years), I'm also TRYING to give up foul language.  (I have already failed at this several times this morning...it's going to be a real challenge for me.  That's not something I am proud of.  I don't recall always having these words fly out of my mouth without any thought, but more and more I find it happening; and that's not good in my book.)

The whole idea, at least for me, in giving up for Lent is a practice in mindfulness.  I am sorry to say that I much of the time I am NOT mindful.  Not mindful of what I put into my body, but perhaps even more important, not mindful of what comes out.  The words that I say; the expressions behind them are all too often careless on my part.  This was all too apparent this morning as I drove to work.  My focus is getting on where I need to be and the frustrations of traffic and those NOT focused on the road have brought me stress and frustration.  Out of that comes language.  Before I could even think (there's the key word right there), words came tumbling out of my mouth.  I heard them.  There I was only a few hours into Ash Wednesday and already I was failing.

But I reminded myself, Lent is a time of reflection.  It is not a time to think of failures or success.  It is a time to make a fresh start and listen.

Looking upon the lectionary readings for today, Psalm 51 reminded me of this: "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion   blot out my transgressions.   Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin...Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.   Let me hear joy and gladness; let the ones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence   or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."
In these 6+ weeks before Easter, I plan to make every attempt to TRY and be more mindful.  To listen before I speak.  To THINK before I speak.  To live each day with awareness.  And when I err (because you KNOW I will; I KNOW I will), to pause, reflect and go on.
I want to make this a MEANINGFUL Lent.  I want to come away from these 40+ days WITH something.  (I'm not sure what that something might look like, but...)  I want to come away from this time changed.  And the only way to do that (at least for me) is to be mindful.  As I go down this Lenten path, I pray:  "Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's Not About Starbucks (or is it)?

Image
  About a block and a half from my home in a major intersection.  At the southeast corner (which is nearest to me), is an empty building.  Back in 1995 it was a Bank of NY (I remember this because they didn't shovel/de-ice their parking lot well and my husband fell and broke his ankle one Monday morning.  I recall this clearly because we were not yet married and it was the first day of a new job for me.  I had gotten on the bus to work and he was catching a later one; only he never got there.  Instead he ended up laying on the ground until an employee came to open up the bank.  Then he had them call an ambulance AND my mother who took control of the situation until I arrived home that night blissfully unaware of what had happened that day.)  It eventually became a Chase Bank; the second one in my small little town.  It eventually closed.  I'm not sure when but it's been empty for quite a long time.  (I do know that it was open in 2005 because the night before my son was bor
Read more

As Is

Image
  Today I want to discuss what I think it is a relatively simple concept, but may be difficult for some, even an attorney who might have once, over a decade ago won a  prestigious award  for young lawyers .  That term is "AS IS." As you may know, I volunteer in a thrift shop.  Everything we sell, from all the donations we receive, is "as is."  The items are not brand new.  They are not perfect.  That doesn't mean they aren't any good or worth something. They are sold "as is."  Buyers should go in knowing that. (After all you are shopping in a thrift shop!)  In some cases, particularly when we are offering higher end products, we will actually write on the price tag, "as is." Such is the case of two designer purses that I purchased from there this summer.  (I'm a purse-aholic!  Don't look in my closet.)  They were reasonably priced (especially when you consider the name brand), but each had an "as is" clearly marked o
Read more

Dear Mom & Dad: Coming to a Close

Image
  Dear Mom & Dad, Last week I prematurely said I sold the house.  (Who knew that the buyer's lawyer would be such a...well you fill in the blank.  I get the feeling that he doesn't like that the seller [me], seller's agent and seller's attorney are all women.  I also get the feeling that he likes to play games which will increase his billable hours.  I'm not naming names [yet] because although paperwork has been signed we are not yet at the finish line and based on my awful experiences of late last week, I still have fears that something could go wrong, even though we clearly outlined everything from the very beginning. )  I am closer and have spent the last weekend doing more packing up and moving out. This is the hard part.  I have sold the house furnished (although the buyer doesn't want the furnishings).  I am taking some things (more than I had originally outlined), but I can't take it all.  So I'm doing what I can.  Especially with the &quo
Read more