Snowpocalypse 2: Return of the White Stuff.

(Cue Jaws theme music):  Just when you thought it was safe...

About a month ago (February, when you expect cold and snow), we had our first snow storm.  Kids had no school; I worked from home.  Clean up was a bitch.  (When is it not?)  Total accumulation in my yard was around 9".  More than enough to keep this family of three busy with shoveling and snow removal.  (And causing my son to collapse in exhaustion on the living room floor when we were done.  What a wuss! He needs to build up some stamina!)  We dug out; we survived and that was that.

A month has gone by.  We've had some nice spring like weather.  We've had some bitter cold weather. (With the mild temps I think many of us had forgotten what a real winter felt like.)  We even had a little more snow last week.  (They were calling for about 3 inches...I don't think it happened.)

We were lulled into a false sense of security.

And just when we thought it was safe.  With spring only a week away.  With crocuses already peeking their purple heads out of the ground.  With robins flying around and searching for that proverbial worm.  (The frightening music swells and crescendos).  And then...

SNOWPOCALYPSE II:  (This time it's personal???)

Two storms are colliding (one coming up from the South and one coming across from the West). And when they meet; there will be NO STOPPING them!  (Think Godzilla joining forces with King Kong.)  There will be snow.  There will be wind.  There will be LIGHTENING?!?!?  Watch out!  Winter Storm Stella is on her way.  (Why the heck are they naming winter storms now?  How many people will be doing their Stanley Kowalski imitations during the storm?  And if you don't know who Stanley Kowalski is; shame on you and your high school English teacher.)  We will be experiencing bombogenesis!  (Yes, I had to look it up.  The Weather Channel, everyone's go to when the sh*t hits the fan, says it is:  "an ominous-sounding term frequently used in the winter to describe powerful low-pressure systems that intensify rapidly." and "Bombogenesis results when there is a large temperature gradient, usually between a cold continental air mass and warm sea-surface temperatures...Frequently, nor'easters are weather bombs due to cold air surging southward from Canada, combined with the warm ocean waters from the Gulf Stream. When a weather bomb strengthens, winds increase dramatically, and precipitation – including snowfall – can become intense. Blizzard conditions can occur, sometimes accompanied by lightning as the system is "bombing out." “Aren’t you sorry you asked?)

You WILL be sorry that you didn't get that extra gallon of milk.  You WILL resort to buying some off brand loaf of bread that no one else wants to eat.  You WILL lose your mind (and most of your money) if you try to hit the grocery store now.  

As for me:  forget the basics.  I did my weekly shopping last Thursday and figured I would somehow live with what I got then.   But then... I hit the grocery before work which meant before 8 AM and it wasn't too crowded and all I got was:  7 bottles of 7 Up soda (Only 77 cents for a two liter bottle if you bought 7), bananas and 2 boxes of mini donuts at half price.  (If you can figure out which grocery store I hit based on the above, you are REALLY good.)  I can now safely say that my son will not go hungry or thirsty.  (Although knowing him the donuts may be gone before it stops snowing...)

Now this SHOULD be the last storm of the winter season.  (PLEASE!  Spring DOES officially start next Monday.)  But the temperatures, which have been mild, are NOT rising this week.  It doesn't hit 40 until Friday (and that is if we are lucky).  And true spring like temperatures (above 50) don't arrive until the FOLLOWING Friday.  Which means that this stuff is going to be around for a while.  So don't expect any pretty daffodils to be poking their heads up any time in the near future.  (I guess I can kiss those tulips that were boldly making an attempt to rise in my back yard last week good bye.)

March may not have come in like a lion...and it's certainly not going out like a lamb.  This year I'd like to think it’s come in like a Tasmanian Devil (of the Bugs Bunny cartoon variety) and is settling down like a fierce polar bear.  I'm just hoping it goes out like a flamingo:  pink and warm like.


Until then, haul out the shovels that you put away.  Stock up on the "necessities" (whatever that may mean to you).  And get ready to scream:  "STELLA!"









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