So Here I Am Again
I've been lying awake for the past hour or so (give or take).
The alarm was set to go off at its usual time (which is about a half an
hour from now...with now being as I sit at the keyboard, screen glowing in the
otherwise darkness). This whole sleep thing seems to be eluding me a bit.
Which is sad because despite what my son thinks, I DO love sleep.
The good thing
though is that while I am up, sitting here and typing, I am not doing so
because I feel the need to hack up a lung or because my face feels like it
wants to explode due to all the pressure in my sinuses. Thankfully, a
visit to the doctor's office had made that much better. I'm not an
advocate for antibiotics, but when they are needed they work wonders.
Clearly I needed one because only one pill later and I am feeling so much
better. I didn't ask for one either; she just assessed me and felt that
it might be the right course for me. And she was right because hours after the
first dose, I felt better. I felt like me again. Not perfect, but
better. And that is a tremendous relief.
So why am I up
again? It's anyone's guess. As with many out there (out where?), I
have a lot on my mind. There is the job, which can be stressful.
(Especially when my reporting numbers were out of whack at the month end.
I don't think that helped the sinus infection at all...hunching over a
computer screen staring at numbers in an excel spreadsheet for nearly 12 hours
non-stop doesn't do much for the head.) I like my job (and I want to keep
it), so I really want those numbers to be correct. I'm working on it and
I think it will come out okay, but there were those moments over the past few
days...Even though I'm feeling better about it, it still weighs on my mind and
could be one of the reasons why I am up.
Then there is the
holiday. There is always so much to do; so much I want to cram in.
Rationally, I realize that I can never do it all, but...I always try.
There are choir rehearsals, there is the children's workshop.
There is the time I want to volunteer in the Thrift Shop. (Trust me,
wonderful bargains can be found in thrift shops and for those associated with
churches or other charitable venues, you're not only doing yourself a favor,
you're helping out a worthwhile cause.) I need to wrap gifts. I
need to buy gifts. (And just where is that money coming from? Why
is it that no matter how hard I try, those holiday bills pile up? I
consider myself somewhat thrifty and yet...There I am checking credit card
balances online and editing electronic payments.) There are visits to
make. It won't all get done and that's ok, but still...
Or maybe it's
something else completely. We all have those nights/mornings when our
eyes just snap open and that's it. Irritating, but not the end of the
world. (Unless it continues on a regular basis. This may be my
second night/morning in a row that this has happened to me, but I won't worry
about it unless it continues to happen throughout this week.)
If I'm going to be
up, I might as well do something productive. So I've double checked those
bills again. Answered some emails. (Yes, I am the crazy lady that answers
emails at ungodly hours...I do try to use my time well.) I will soon go
downstairs and start my morning exercise routine (which I have neglected for
the past two days). Nothing too hard or stressful. But a way to get
the day started.
So here I am
again, doing what I can to make lemonade out of the lemons. Isn't that what we all should do? (Of course as
someone once point out why can't life hand you limes instead so you could make margaritas!
It's a little early for that, but it’s a pretty valid point.)
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