Bfth's Boring Blog

  In the midst of summer with broiling days (except for yesterday when it felt like early May...explain that to me) I'm not quite sure how we got to August.  I'll be honest most days are a blur and it's a good thing I blog so that I can remember what's happened over the past several months because it all just runs together. Although I am still focused on making sure my dad is taken care of and trying to muddle through the estate process (I'm sure I'll get into that in more detail at some point), life is marching on around me.  There's work which can be hectic (we're halfway through the 3rd quarter and I know that the last 3 months of 2022 are going to be killer).  My son's summer is just as stressful. There's his summer job, which is halfway complete.  He's definitely facing his own challenges this week dealing with young kids (under 5) who apparently feel that spitting and grabbing is okay.  (Definitely not part of the job description an...

Note:  On July 30th, both of my parents were recognized for their many years of hard work in maintaining an annual sailing event.  The event was not created by them, but they were instrumental in overseeing and running it for decades.  I was offered an opportunity to speak to the group. (When have I ever turned down that kind of opportunity?)  Below is what I said: Thank you for being here today.  I promise not to speak for too long because today is not about speeches, it's about sailing.  You are here at the Normandy Beach YACHT club, originally founded as the Normandy Beach Sailing Club to sail in the 46th Annual Sanderling Regatta and it's a perfect day to do so. I don't know all of you, but you knew my mom.  You knew my mom because she was always here; year after year.  She sat at that table.  She greeted you.  She made sure you were taken care of.  She wanted you to have a good race.  No matter how you placed, she wan...

It's been 18 days since I last spoke with my mom. It's been 17 days since I last held my mom's hand. It's been 10 days since the graveside service. It's been one week since the church service. There are still things I need to do.   I don't know how to feel. This whole this surreal, yet real.  I can't seem to wrap my head around everything. I am trying to move forward.  To keep my family moving forward.  There is work for me.  There is work for my son.  There is a driver's test looming around the corner.  (What if he doesn't pass?  How will we deal with that?  What if he passes?  How will we deal with that?) School will start sooner than anyone expects.  We need to look at colleges.  We need to figure out how to pay for college.  There will be applications and forms; all confusing I am sure.  Everything is...overwhelming I am unfocused.  I move from task to task with no sense of purpose.  I feel like I s...

  Love 'em or hate 'em, summer assignments are a fact of life for many high school students.  Back in the last century (how it hurts to write that), I can recall having one going into my junior year for AP English.  I had to read “The  Oresteia” by  Aeschylus .  In the pre-internet world, finding a copy of this Greek trilogy was not easy; nor was writing the required essay.  (Which I believe I actually got an F for.  I had NO CLUE what I was doing.  It was a tough class, but I LEARNED and I read a lot of great literature.  Plus I ended up doing okay in the class and will be forever grateful to the teacher [who I now consider a friend] for the experience.)  I was aware of the assignment at the end of my sophomore year and I know that I found and purchased a copy of the play in July (while my family was on vacation at the Jersey Shore).   My son has two summer assignments.  He has an assignment from his AP Human Ge...

  If you've been reading my blog regular/recently (and I hope you have), you know that these past few weeks have been difficult for me, as well as for my family.  In all honesty, it's been challenging since last fall, but...  We are all still working through our grief and the situation; a process that is going to take some time.  (Who knows how long?) Still it hasn't been all doom and gloom.  There were a couple of incidents that were funny/amusing or at least made us smile.  So I wanted to share those; because you can't have a funeral without fun. The last day my mom was conscious and not yet on hospice, she wanted to make phone calls to friends.  (I covered that story  here )  I didn't have all the numbers of friends, so I asked my dad and another friend to share my cell number with people my mom might want to speak with.  Obviously this was a difficult task, especially for my dad.  He was (understandably) upset as he told people ...

  Thank you all for being here today to remember my mom.  As I wrote in her obituary, She grew up in the United Methodist Church before becoming a member of the First Presbyterian Church as a teen where all the cool kids hung out and were she eventually served as a deacon. During her summers at the shore, she was active at the Episcopal Church of St. Simon by-the-Sea   She didn’t have to be a particular denomination to find a church family.  As far as services go, this was probably the last church she was physically in and she loved this building and its congregation because it felt right and fit into the landscape of this island that she loved so much.   My mother had three passions in life:  family, friends and the Jersey Shore.   As family and friends, you knew my mother.  She cared for each of you; which is why last Friday I helped her call as many of you as she could; sadly not all.  Even though it was difficult, she wanted to say goodb...

  Thank you everyone for coming out on this hot Saturday morning to remember my mom. I know that she would not have liked standing out here in heat for any length of time, so I promise to keep this service relatively brief.   As I wrote in her obituary she grew up in the United Methodist Church before becoming a member of the First Presbyterian Church as a teen where she served as a deacon. During her summers at the shore, she was active at the St. Simon by-the-Sea in Mantoloking.  Although she was officially a Presbyterian, I specifically asked for the Katherine R, an Episcopalian priest, to oversee the service.  Katherine is good enough to oversee a prayer shawl knitting ministry and one of their prayer blankets was given to my father, but ended up being used quite frequently by my mother.  It brought her warmth and comfort.  For that I will always be grateful.   Everyone here knew my mother in a different way; saw her in a unique perspective, so I ...