Things Have Changed
My son has been
away at college for nearly 3 weeks now. We are empty nesters. It's
not something I like (or looked forward to), but it's not something I dislike
either. It's different. It's strange. It's life.
There are some things in
our household and daily life that are very different now:
- There is less laundry in the hamper; I do fewer
loads. You wouldn't think one person would make that much of a
difference, but...Even though half the time when I would do the laundry
he'd leave his dirty clothes in his room (and then I'd end up doing
another load), the hamper seemed to be constantly full. I'm down to
two load a week?! I can do towels and sheets as one load instead of two.
I keep looking in the hamper because I think I need to do a load and I
don't! (Of course then I wonder if my kid is doing laundry at
college. He'd done laundry right? It's been almost three weeks
and I provided him with laundry sheets because they were lighter and
easier than hauling a bottle.)
- Food doesn't "disappear" any more. I
bought cookies last Friday and there is still most of the pack in the
pantry. I don't have to "hide" (put way in the back behind
other items or put on the highest shelf behind a pan) items away that I
want to save for later. (But then I wonder, is he eating
right? I KNOW he's eating, but is he not just junk fooding?)
- Adding on to that, my shopping cart is a not quite as
full. I'm not saying my grocery bill has gone down...because despite
less items it still seems to go up, up and up. (As I said to the cashier,
$145 is the new $75.) It SHOULD take us less time to shop (since
we're buying less), but that's not necessarily the case as we take time to
browse and try to figure out what the two of us will do for the week. (How
much is he spending daily? Did I set him up with enough money on his
meal plan? Is he using his meal plan?)
- I don't have to buy the more expensive cans/bottles of
soda. It's much more economical to buy a two liter bottle, but my
son would ignore it (after it had been opened). Those 12 packs of
cans or 6 backs of small bottles add up! There's an expense saved,
but...now my husband says he prefers them! Ugh! Well at least
I don't have to buy as often.
- I go to sleep earlier. I don't have to stay awake
and wait for him to get home from wherever he's been driving around.
Or, if I had fallen asleep, the noise of him coming in at night isn't
waking me up. (He's LOUD when he comes in, takes off his clothes and
takes a shower!) I didn't say I was getting more sleep because I'm
not. I'm definitely getting old and getting up more often in the
middle of the night for a trip to the bathroom. (Oh God, that means
I'm REALLY old.)
- I have to plan my commute when I go to the office. If
it was cold and I wanted to take the express bus, I could have my son
drive me down to the express stop (which is further away than the
local). If it was raining, or if I didn't want to climb the hill at
the end of the day, I could ask my son to pick me up. Just last week
I made the decision to take locals (which are crowded and slow) because I
didn't think it would be wise to walk a mile (give or take) uphill at the
end of the day when it was 95+ outside. Also, if I'm taking a local,
I need to catch an earlier bus in since it stops so frequently and picks
up more people. I miss being able to take the express whenever.
- My gas costs are down. While I've been driving
less since the spring (since I have to travel to Newark via bus 3 days a
week), when my son was home he was driving a lot. (Young and with a
license to drive around the same 10 or so miles over and over.) Now
the car he drove sits in the driveway (and seems to be a favorite place
for the birds to poop). I fill up my tank maybe once a week.
Of course, I SHOULD drive "his" car on occasion and it DOES need
new rims (or so he was told the last time his tire pressure was low),
so...
- Do I need to say what the biggest change is? He's
not here. There are no hugs. (Not that there were many to begin
with...they phase out much too quickly). There's no
conversation. (Not that there was much conversation to begin
with.) There are daily texts, which are always too brief and lacking
all the detail that I want, but am not going to ask for.
It's difficult, but this is
life. He's out there thriving (I hope). He's doing "his"
thing and establishing his world. While I do poke my nose in (too often I
know), I am doing my best not to be too overbearing. (I stopped texting
in the morning; instead letting him text me when he is up and about...then I
prod for more information.)
Comments
Post a Comment