I Don't Like

 

Because I don't have anything else to say (or anything coherent) and because I can, here comes my whiny list of first world problems (that aren't really problems at all if you look at the big picture, but if I looked at the big picture than this wouldn't be a first world problem).  Maybe you can relate to some of these and if you do and you want to ping me with your own rant or possible solution, feel free to.  If not, read on and perhaps laugh at the trivialness (is that a word?) of what irks and irritates me.

Without further ado:

• I don't like that it's 90+ degrees after Labor Day.  I like warm weather.  Sometimes I even like hot weather but having the first heat wave of the summer (and I realize that it IS still summer) after Labor Day is just wrong.  I don't like waking up and finding it's already 85+ degrees in my bathroom.  I don't like the sweat that forms in irritating places (that I won't mention) and makes me itch and feel "icky."  I don't like freezing in the office all day only to fry on the way home.  Don't tell me global warming isn't a thing.  We, as human beings, have royally screwed up our planet and too many are hiding their heads in the sand (or in another awkward place that I won't mention).  We shouldn't be having the weather that we are having and I don't like it.
• I don't like that not all of the dorms on my son's college campus are not air conditioned.  The one he lives in, IS, but not all of them are.  This concerns me.  People have said that I (they) made it through college without A/C, but when I went to college (which was over 30 years ago) the weather was different.  We hadn't completely screwed things up yet, so it wasn't always so bad.  What I can remember is that it got cold before the official turn on of the heat in the dorm, which seemed stupid to me then (and now.)  You don't turn the heat or the air on by the date, you turn it on by what is going on outside.  You may need heat in May.  You may need air conditioning in November.  ALL schools, no matter where they are in the world, need (or will need) heating and air conditioning.  All residences are going to need them to.  Again, we've screwed up and now we've got to pay for it.
• I don't like that the official school year has started and I'm not part of it.  I saw all the first day of school photos from friends and it was disconcerting to not be a part of it for the first-time in... well 13+ plus years.  (So long that I can't remember exactly what it was like NOT to talk about back to school.)  Don't get me wrong, I LOVED the photos...I just don't like that I'm not part of it anymore.  (And I couldn't really get my son to get me a photo of HIS first day of school.)
• I don't like the traffic now that school is back in session.  Because of the incredible heat, I opted to take the local buses in and out of Newark. (I STILL don't like going to Newark three days a week, or even two days a week, or even...well you get the picture.)  Walking downtown to catch the express bus when it's already 80 at seven in the morning is not a good idea.  Taking the express home and walking UP the hill (with a backpack) when it's 90+ in the late afternoon is DEFINITELY not something I should be doing.  So I've taken local buses.  But with kids back in school, there are more stops and more people getting on and everything is much slower.  So much so that this morning, I took the 6:45 bus (which I raced to get and ended up coming later than the app said), which got me to the light rail station by 7:15.  And the light rail was pretty crowded by the time we got to Penn Station.  Going home will be even more so. Which brings me to my next point...
• I don't like seeing armed transit guards at a light rail stop.  As I was heading home yesterday, at the stop right before mine, I could see the transit cops.  ARMED transit cops with body cameras.  Something was clearly going on and it FREAKED me out.  When I got off at the next stop (missing the bus by 30 or so seconds), I had plenty of time to bake in the sun before the next bus came 15 minutes later, to wonder about what the heck was going on.  
• I don't like going back to wearing masks.  But I feel like it's the smart thing to do if I'm taking local buses and the light rail (The express bus has much fewer people.)  Very few people are wearing them, but with Covid back on the upswing...I understand that there are several cases on my son's campus. (I haven't asked him about it...there are so many things that I want to ask, but I haven't...yet.)  He was boosted before he went (which was too early, but what are you going to do.)  I know I need to be boosted because I haven't since my initial booster which was over a year ago and they don't even give the J&J vaccine anymore, which also makes me nervous because of my wonky allergies and reactions to things, but...
• I don't like losing two (different) earrings over two days.  Not that they were great earrings, but...The first one I lost because I peeled off my mask walking in the hallway to my building (which was pretty empty at the hour I arrived).  When I got to my desk...no earring in the right ear.  This morning I put in two, but the backing on one was loose.  However, I was rushing to get to the bus (which I didn't have to do), so I just figured it would be good enough.  I was halfway down the block from my house when I realized it was gone (so there is a chance it is still in my house...and if it is, my husband WILL step on it).  I debated for 5 seconds about going back, but the clock was ticking, so I kept going. (There was less than 15 minutes till the bus would be at my stop...of course it stayed at 15 minutes for a good 5 minutes, so. I could have gone back.  But then I would have woken up my husband and HE might have worried so...)
• I don't like being disheveled.  No matter how hard I try, I am NOT a put together kind of woman.  I am envious of all those women I see walking through the corridors around Penn Station.  No fly away hairs (even with hair spray I'm a mess), make up perfect (I'm smudged the minute I walk out the door), well dressed (I'm not a slob, but nothing is ever exactly right") and carrying a purse or a tote with ease (I'm stooped over with a backpack...but at least I bought a new one over the weekend that has a pretty pattern that is more "me" than the inflexible black corporate one that might look okay in the winter, but...)  These are women who walk with confidence.  (I don't know if they really have it or not, but they LOOK like they do.)  They are the ones I want to be when I grow up...only I have grown up and I'm still not there.  (Or maybe I've passed it?)
• Finally, I don't like worrying about every little thing.  I admire people who can take life in stride.  I'm constantly stressed...does my stress hold me together?  I'd like to be calm and collected, but it doesn't seem to be in my nature.  I've TRIED many times to be mindful and focus on positive things, and it works temporarily. (Much like my attempts to lose weight...I want to lose weight, but my id wants me to eat more junk food...or maybe it's my ego?)  I freak out way too easily (just ask my husband or my son.)  Keep calm and carry on is NOT my motto, as much as I would like it to be.  Maybe someday, I'll move away to the country and find a quiet life that can quiet my mind and my soul, but will that day really ever come?  It gives me something else to worry about, doesn't it?

What I do like is being able to write this all down and vent to whoever is out there reading this.  Thank you for doing so.  Now what do I write about next?