Don't Ask Me Seth

 

Note:  While not "required" reading, it might help to read this for context first.  If you read this post (titled "Please Don't Ask Me") you can probably already guess where this is going...

So it's been about a month and half since my father died.  Which means it's been about a year and one month since my mom died.  As their only living child, it's a lot to process.  To be honest, I haven't really grieved for the loss of either of them.  Though it's probably not healthy, I've kept a lot tucked away.  Why?  I just haven't had the time.  (That's a lousy excuse I know.)  There just always seems to be so much to do; work, my son, etc.  Someday it's all going to catch up with me.  Most likely at the most inconvenient time. (When is grief ever convenient?)

During this past month and a half, I've been cleaning the shore home.  I've been spending as much time here as I possibly can.  After all, it IS summer.  (Although I have to say that I've always felt the best time at the NJ shore is September.)  There was/is a lot of clean up and clear out since my mother purchased this house nearly 30 years ago.  Stuff accumulates.  Stuff that should have been tossed years ago.  I know I am guilty of this as well and I've tried to be more cognizant of it at my primary residence.  I am well aware that there is just too much that I've tossed into a drawer or thrown in a closet that I really should donate or toss.  There is just too much stuff!  (That's probably a blog post for another day.)

I should be clear, the reason I have been cleaning the shore house is for ME.  It's for MY sanity.  In the past, when I had worked from the shore house, I'd relegated myself to tv tray table in the living room.  After getting the medical equipment and supplies removed from the "den", I cleared off my father's desk and work area and am able to use it for MY work.  It's a lot more comfortable and I think I'm more productive.  I've cleaned out closets and drawers, so that I can put my things in them and I don't have to travel back and forth with a suitcase.  My husband cleaned out an old coffee maker that we had but didn't use. (It was back up in case our current one died...we NEED our morning coffee.)  I brought it down and this morning didn't have to run to Wawa for coffee.  (My coffee isn't quite as good, but...)  All of this is done for MY comfort and the comfort of my family.  (I'm hoping my son and his girlfriend will come down again this week before he goes away to college.)  I want to enjoy the time that I spend here.

The question which STILL should not be asked is "What are you going to do about the house?"  I don't have an answer at this point.  At this point I don't have a deed for this house with my name on it...so it's pointless to even ask.  And yet...

"Seth" sent me this postcard.  Go away Seth!  

"Melanie" called me on Friday.  I screen ALL calls from numbers I don't know.  So when "Melanie" called, Google asked her for some information.  First she said, "I'm looking for Elizabeth and this is Melanie."  I don't know any Melanie (if your name is Melanie and I DO know you...shame on me!)  and if you KNOW we, you KNOW I don't use Elizabeth.   I had Google ask for more information to which she said: "I would love to personally speak to Elizabeth."  So I had Google ask for MORE information and what came back (which shows how you really need to enunciate when speaking):  "I am calling about to apply 20 quarts low.  I just wanted to know is he has thought about selling."  I decided to connect and while I'm sure Melanie is a very nice person who is just calling people off a list she has been provided, I told her that her company was a pack of vultures preying on grieving people, hung up and blocked the number.  (I've been doing A LOT of number blocking!)

Finally, the other night I decided to go for a short walk as the sun was going down.  As I'm walking down the street, who do I see, but the neighbor who approached me 2 days after my dad died to ask me about the house.  I could have gone back to the house and given up my walk, but I wanted to walk.  There was no way I could avoid him, so I hit it head on.  I said hello and that he'd be seeing us a lot more.  Did he take the hint?  Not really.  So I made sure to say that we were going to be down in the fall and winter too.  (To be honest, I don't know if that WILL be the case, but...).  And then he said, "Well, if you need help fixing the place up..."

He said more after that, I know, but I tuned out.  He has already determined that I need to fix the house up.  He's not wrong, but it's none of his business.  And for now, I'm not doing ANYTHING to the house other than what I've decided to do for the comfort of my family and myself.

So Seth, Melanie and Mr. K, don't call, text or talk.  And if you're that invested in real estate, check out my neighbor's home which is on the market and is being sold by a REPUTABLE agent.  (Who also happens to be a neighbor, but she has NEVER approached me and asked the question.)