Death: Its Exhausting for the Living


 So, my dad's been dead for a month now.  I am worn out (or should that be worn down?).  I realize that this maybe be crass, but death is the gift that keeps on giving.  Who has time to grieve and mourn when there is so much administrative "stuff" (okay, B.S.) to do?  You keep jumping through hoops, thinking that this one might be your last and it never is.

Now I guess I am lucky and/or privileged. I could afford to pay for funeral expenses and there is an estate to be dealt with.  (Estate sounds so grand.  Am I living in Downton Abbey?  I wish...or do I?)  Last year when my mom died, there were two banks to deal with and an asset management service to deal with.  Later I dealt with the car.  I never got around to transferring the title of the house (which my mother left to me, but my dad was living there).  Now that my dad has died, it's on my list of things that I need to do.  (Actually, I'm waiting for their attorney to get back to me with a date and time because she said everything is ready to go...she hasn't responded to my email of a week ago yet.)

Now that my dad has died, the process starts all over again.  The asset management service has been relatively painless.  (Doesn't hurt that I knew the players before either of my parents died and have had conversations and correspondence with them for years.)  While I am still waiting for the bank to process all the paperwork (7-10 business days supposedly), I have to say my experience with Bank of America was somewhat better this time.  Perhaps it was because back at the end of April, I went to the BoA that my parent's used and closed out their safe deposit box.  The person who helped me was very customer service focused and worked everything out so that it was (relatively) easy for me.  I purposely went back to him to close out my dad's accounts.  Unlike last years’ experience (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2022/08/if-you-like-aggravation-youll-love-this.html) this meeting was well organized and I didn't have to wait.  I was home in under an hour.  Now, I am STILL waiting for a check to come my way, but...(And believe me, once 10 business day pass and I haven't gotten what I need I WILL be pulling out all the stops...AGAIN.)

There were two other companies that my dad had investments in.  One was private and required a lot of documentation (of what I had).  Then I had to go to the bank to get everything notarized, which was not too much of a pain point.  (I did not get the paperwork notarized at Bank of America!)  The other required me to fill out some paperwork, which I need their guidance and advice on.  (I don't want to take lump sums of money if it's not in my best interest.)  However, when my dad invested, both my mom and my brother were alive and he never updated anything.  So while I still have copies of my mom's death certificate, I did NOT have one for my brother who died 11 years ago.

I searched my parent's house this week (my house!) to see if I could find one, but...So it was down to the municipal court in the town where my brother died to get copies.  But first I had to go back to the bank to our safe deposit box to get MY birth and marriage certification (to prove that I am a relative).  They were very nice at the court, but it was just another exhausting hoop to jump through.

However, now I have all the death certificates of my immediate family.  (Because you can never have too many death certificates on hand.)  Let's just hope that something else doesn't come up and I have to pull up death certificates for my grandparents.  It's been over 20 years, but...


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