Trying Not to Lose my Sh*t

So it's Saturday morning and I'm spending time trying to transfer photos over from one folder on my computer to another. Everything I try to do is working out wrong. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

I've spent over an hour doing this. Instead of moving from one folder to another, things copy. So I delete the copies. And I start all over again. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t. 

This is all that I can back-up my photos. I've got thousands of them. (Yes, I'm that mom!) I bought a special drive just to transfer them over. So that we could have a back-up plan and that I wouldn't lose any photos that are precious to me. My husband said he'd help me. And he is helping me. But he's annoyed. I'm annoyed. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

So I retreat into the bathroom and the sink is a mess. There are cups on the vanity.  Used cup, or so I assume. Soap scum and left over toothpaste seems to be everywhere (it always is). I clean it up. The toilet that I cleaned (yuck) yesterday is dirty again. It's a never-ending saga that keeps going on and on. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

It's nothing major. It's all the little things. That get under our skin and irritate us like a mosquito that has landed and bitten us and given us a big hive that makes us just want to scratch and scratch and scratch even though we know we shouldn't. And we're trying not to lose our sh*t.

I know that this is nothing. And I know I should remain calm. But I really just want to scream. Or maybe cry. Or maybe both at the same time. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

It's humid. It's cloudy. The whole house is moist (what a word).  Everything sticks to each other. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

If I could just let go of all these little irritants. I don't seem to be able to. Who can? We're only human. And we're trying not to lose our sh*t.

Instead I come downstairs. I go to the newly painted sun parlor/ music room.  I sit in a rocking chair and I try to get my mind calm. It works sort of. It doesn't work sort of. Cuz I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

This is life. The little things. The ones that overshadow all the good stuff even though we don't want it to. And I'm trying not to lose my sh*t.

I know eventually I will come to the realization that this is nothing. That this is all just silly little stuff. But for now I'll just sit here and try to remain calm and try not to lose my sh*t.

We all have those times. We all have those days. We're ALL trying not to lose our sh*t. These days it seems harder than ever to remain calm and collected. Maybe we all need to just go outside and scream. Or throw a pillow and behave like the little inner toddler that we all have hiding inside of us. Because we're all about to lose our sh*t.

So when you feel that you're about to lose your sh*t find that place that is safe. Find that place where you can scream. Find that place where you can throw a pillow. Find that place where you can jump up and down and throw that temper tantrum like a toddler. And that's how you can safely lose your sh*t.

Then go back to wherever you were and be the adult that you can be. The adult that doesn't lose their sh*t.  (Even though we all do.)

Adulting is not easy. Especially at this time. And we're all going to lose our sh*t. It's okay. We all need to lose our sh*t. And then we need to take a deep breath and move on.

 That's what I've done now. And that's what I'll have to do again. Because there will be another time, probably sooner rather than later than I'd like where I'm going to lose my sh*t.



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