A Tale of Two Teachers

There are parents who are called "Helicopter Parents."  I'm TRYING to avoid that.  If anything, I'm a Drone parent...I keep an eye out, see what's going on and swoop back out and try to stay out of the way.  My son is at an age when he needs to advocate for himself and that is something that we are working on with him.  It's obvious that he's matured over the past year, but he still has some struggles with some subjects and is reluctant to ask for assistance.  (Because it's EMBARRASSING MOM!)  So although I have made a conscious effort to be hands off (although I DO oversee), I still remind him to write his planner, check Google classroom and such.

Every kid has his or her struggles when it comes to school, be it academic or otherwise.  What can make all the difference in the world is the teacher.  This is the tale of two teachers.  Both of whom teach subject that my son tends to struggle with and how they have handled the situation (from my perspective of course).

Teacher 1 he has had before.  To be completely honest, he has NOT been a good student with her.  He has blown off assignments and done lackluster work.  He as reluctant to go to her for help.  In years past, I have reached out to her and asked if she thought he might need a tutor and/or what he might do to raise his grade.  She did not recommend a tutor, but did tell us that he needed to participate more in class.  (You know how much kids LOVE to participate in a subject in which they are not doing well or are comfortable in.)  She also suggested he use the on line took, Quizlet to practice.  Unfortunately, nothing seemed to help him and we eventually did get him a tutor (who just happens to be a cousin). She was (and is) a great help, as she is not just working with him on the subject matter, but also on how to prepare and take a test and also working to make him more independent and confident.

Although we are just in the 5th week of the school year, he is still having difficulty.  He flunked the first test (which was given 10 days into the school year).  Since this teacher does not send tests or quizzes home, I needed to request a copy so that the tutor could look at it and see where the issue was.  Getting a copy of said test was not an easy task (it took a couple of reminders).  An email to me said: "I have him sitting in the front of the class, so I can help him if need be.  As we were going over it in class, students were to write corrections on it as I explained things.  It took me several times to speak to him to even take out his test and look at it as we were going over it.  If he wants to see an improvement, in addition to working with a tutor at him, it's critical that he actively participates in class as well. “While I understand where she is coming from, I don't think she understands his perspective:  she has him sitting up front and has just handed him a test with an F.  I know my kid (and I would hope that she would too), and the last thing he is going to want to do is put a test with a failing grade on his desk so that "everyone can see."  As my cousin/tutor quickly pointed out; he just shut down at that point and getting him to participate in ANYTHING then was going to be mute.

Thankfully, as I said previous, my cousin has been tutoring him faithfully.  This Friday (5th week of school; although we have YET to have a week of school that does not include a day off or a 1/2 day) he will have his 3rd subject test and he definitely improved on his 2nd test and subsequent quiz (although not as much as he would have liked).  He's been acing his homework (3 assignments thus far) and projects (2 thus far).  (Yes, in 5 weeks he will have had 3 tests, 2 projects and 1 quiz.)  Hopefully his confidence is growing and as a result he will do better in the subject AND feel better about participating.

Teacher 2 is new to the school.  I'll admit that I had reservations.  She is young and she moved from a position in the high school to the middle school.  Knowing that she was teaching the other subject that my son has difficulties with; I was apprehensive.  I am happy to report that I had absolutely NOTHING to worry about and I am thrilled that she is my son's teacher.

What put me at ease?  Several things; the first being meeting her on Back to School Night.  Since my son has lunch right before he class, my husband and I skipped lunch and went straight to her classroom.  (Confession:  We also did this because we were unsure which room was hers.  My son's handwriting sometimes leaves something to be desired!)  Being in the classroom early, we got a chance to know her.  But the most important thing was what she said to all the parents...that coming from the high school, she KNEW what 8th grade students would need in order to be prepared and successful in high school.  It blew me away; she was not just focused on the year, but arming her students with the knowledge that they would need going into their last four years in the school system.

She also has a demeanor that is very approachable.  This was very obvious, when my son took a quiz last week.  For whatever reason, he was nervous.  Maybe he knew that he didn't know the material as well as he should have or maybe he was just having a bad day.  What he DID do, was tell her that he was nervous.  In my eyes, this is a big deal.  He is taking the first step and communicating with the teacher.  I felt that it was worth sharing with her.  (Is it droning/helicoptering when you want to give a thank you/compliment a teacher?)  Her reply blew me away:  “He did tell me that he was nervous when he was handing in the quiz. I just graded it and he did make some mistakes. We will be reviewing the quizzes in class, but I would like for him to come in to review his quiz with me either in the morning or after school one day. We will have a test on this material within the next two weeks, and I think he can do a lot better on it if we review the mistakes from this quiz. I will speak to him in class tomorrow to see which day works for him.  I think he is a very capable and responsible young man. He pays attention and participates and even though this quiz may not have gone the way he wanted to, I believe that he will learn from it and do better next time. I have no worry that he will succeed in my class and he will be great at the High School as well!"  

Holy smokes!!  I wanted to post this on my son's wall.  I wanted to cry with joy.  The way she has approached the subject (with all her students) and my son tell me that she may be relatively new to the profession, but that she has already attained ROCK STAR status in my eyes.  And furthermore, in an email exchange after my son had been to see her:  "I am glad that we had a chance to review his mistakes today after school. He was very patient and attentive and agreed that some extra practice might be helpful before the next test. I have some practice tests and quizzes I can give him with answer keys. I will get them to him on Monday. I also checked with him to see if he is doing ok with the current topic. He said he has been understanding the lessons and the homework has been helping him put it all together... I'm very glad I have him in class and I have no doubt his grade will improve going forward. However, I would like to meet with him again after school to review before the test. I will hold a review session sometime around the test date. I will email you with those dates as they become more relevant."

Let me make it clear, I LOVE this woman.  I don't even care about my son's grade.  (Can you believe I'm actually saying that?  Do you think I mean it?  I WILL probably change my tune, but for now...) Furthermore, I have shared her comments with my son.  How do you think that made HIM feel?  While he may still struggle with the subject matter, he has no hesitation about speaking with her, during or after class.  He has a new confidence (which just might be more important than a grade).  I want to sing her praises aloud and hope she never leaves our school system!

Two different teachers; two different approaches.  One that works for my son and one that doesn't.  But both are lessons in teaching styles and what I hope the takeaway for my son is that you need to work with different people in your life.  Some may be easier to work with than others.  You need to be able to advocate for yourself no matter what the situation.  If he (and indeed all of us) can learn this lesson, we'll all be in a much better place in life.