The Crazy Thoughts of Mine When I Wake Up In the Middle of the Night And Am Wide Awake.

It's around 3 in the morning here.  I woke up, aching in places that are not all mentionable.  I'd like to say that it's because of my intense walk yesterday, but that's not necessarily true.  I did walk outside yesterday for the first time in a long time, but I've been doing some intense indoor walking exercises and I also did an incredibly intense hike last Saturday (doing things that I never thought I could or would and probably shouldn't it).  

My aches and pains could also be the result of the intense cleaning I did yesterday.  Thanksgiving, after all, is just a few days away.  My intention for this weekend was to clean the house, although my husband had started to do a great job earlier in the week. there are always those places that never really get clean.  You know the spots that you ignore until one day you see them and you just can't turn away from the piles of dust and dirt that exist. You hope that others don't notice, but you are afraid that they do. In my house those space are the areas under the radiators and behind the loveseat (I'm still managing to ignore behind the sofa because it's impossible to move and people are more likely to notice the worn out patches on the cushions and armrests than they are the dirt, or at least that's my take on it,) Then there are those places in bathroom that you just can't do anything about.  (The way my bathroom is set up, that would be the gap between the tub and sink and the gap between the sink and the wall.)  But there was also a lot of mold and mildew that had built up on the calking (or what was left of it) between the wall and the tub.  I scrubbed and scrubbed (inhaling toxic fumes, I am sure), but was making not much of a dent in it.  This led to my husband (and I) to pulling out the remainder of the calk (which was grosser than cleaning a toilet after someone had the stomach flu) and re-doing the whole thing.

That could have definitely led to the aches and pains that I currently feel.  (And I'm sure he feels too.) But the sad truth, is...I'm getting old and I have the aches and pains to prove it. I also have horrifyingly found hair where it should NOT be and had to get the tweezers to make it go away AND found a lack of hair where it SHOULD be!  The only thing thin about me has always been my hair which is the perfect definition of "baby fine," but it is getting scarily "old lady" thin. (You know what I am talking about!)  All of this along with the giant deep line that runs across my forehead (and now it's "sister lines") and the wrinkles around my eyes point to the fact that I am "past my prime." (Yet the oily skin and acne that still pops up on my face still keeps trying to convince me that I am young.) And has been said, "getting old sucks."  But it is, of course, much better than the alternative.  There are so many people who grow old gracefully...why am I NOT one of them?

None of this is what I intended to say when I opened my computer and started to write because I was wide awake and achy at three in the morning.  I had intended to complain about the white stuff that I saw from my window in the bathroom as I got up to take a Tylenol.  (That wasn't the only reason I was in the bathroom; another sign of getting old is that I wake up pretty much every night and have to pee.  Meanwhile, my preteen blissfully sleeps the night away.)  I mean, when I was cleaning the bathroom yesterday, I had the window open all the way (to get rid of those fumes of which you are not supposed to inhale.  But if you are not supposed to inhale them, why are they in the darned cleaner in the first place????).  It had been warm enough to run to the hardware store (because we always start a project without all the supplies we need) without a jacket.  At 3 in the morning, I look out my window and see a white coating on the roof and think "I am SO NOT ready for this."  Not that it's a lot of the white stuff.  Just a little dusting; that will melt away by the middle of the day and is just enough to make my driveway slick and slippery.  (My driveway is dangerous enough without being slippery.  To get to my garage you have to go down a steep hill.  I am sure that I am a sight to see when I get the car out when I am wearing heels.  It is DEFINITELY a sight when I try to make my way down it without falling on my much padded behind when it is coated in snow and/or ice.)

The Tylenol is slowly starting to kick in.  I'm starting to feel a little tired, but mostly chilly (since I turn down the heat quite a bit at night) and think it's time to climb back into that warm bed.  (I DO love my bed; I could be walking advertisement for the Sleep Number and My Pillow people.  So, if you're reading this, I'm more than willing to make a paid endorsement!)  The sun will rise, the white stuff will melt (I can't bring myself to say the "s" word just yet) and this old lady will get up and face another day soon enough with some aches and pains, but hopefully, mostly with a smile.