SOMWaD: If I'm Gaining An Hour Why Do I Feel Like I Am Losing Time?
We've just hit November and yet I feel like time is starting run out on me. The holiday season is sort of upon us (depends on where you look and how you feel) and I'm beginning to have that pseudo panic attack of not enough time and money to get everything done. How can this be when it's only the 5th day of the month? And the wee hours of it to boot? I look at a calendar and realize that in just 8 short weeks it will be the last day of 2016!
Believe it or not, I had been asleep. I get up early and I go to bed early, but I woke up and realized that the laundry I had put in the washer needed to go to the dryer. So I got up and did that and all of a sudden my brain kicked into panic gear. There's so much to do! When are you going to find the time to get it done?
I need to be up and out of here before 9 so that I can get the kid to church to help out with a volunteer program and I need to be there at 10 for a choir rehearsal. Friends are coming over in the afternoon. Sunday morning is church and the afternoon I need to get some office work done...that I probably should have done Saturday afternoon or evening. The work week is crazy as I have a major sales meeting which will take up most of my waking hours Monday-Wednesday, which leaves Thursday to play catch up. Meanwhile, the kid only has 2-1/2 days of school and I have something special planned for the family from Friday to Sunday. It's going to be fun and some much needed downtime. However, it means I lose that time to do what I feel I NEED to go (or should that be want to do?) Plus, it also means extra laundry!
Which leads us into the week before Thanksgiving. Yes, you read that right. The last full week before Thanksgiving. I was smart enough to already start purchasing items for the holiday at the grocery store this Friday. However, I'll need the last minute things. Have I found the time to get the family photo with Santa, go to the outlet mall to purchase holiday presents for my son? There's no way I'm doing those things AFTER Thanksgiving.
Have I even thought about holiday presents? Other than my son, there aren't that many gifts. Small family and no big spending. Which is a good thing because there is never enough cash. (No matter where I work or how much I make, there never seems to be enough. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that.) I do make a family calendar that I give to my parents and my in laws (as well as one for myself). I've been doing it for year and everyone seems to like it. (Or they are all very good liars.) But that takes time too.
There's cleaning (for Thanksgiving and Christmas). There's extra music rehearsals for both my son and I. There's decorating and card sending...Don't forget those holiday bills. They are always more than I expect, even though I try to be thrifty. (And again, thank goodness I have a small family to shop for.) Plus, the car insurance is always due in December. (Perfect timing...ok, is there ever really a good time for car insurance bills? Especially when you live in NJ?)
And while I'm panicking over all these things, let's not forget the "regular" stuff that takes a hunk out of life: work (and how the commute will get crazier as the holiday approach) and school (tests, quizzes and homework). Is it any wonder that I'm not sleeping and instead sitting here in front of a glowing computer screen trying to convince myself NOT to panic? It's only November 5th and the end of the year is spinning out of control in my mind.
I know, it's time to start taking deep breathes. There WILL be time for everything. And if there's not, so what? Will the world really come to an end if I get holiday cards out late? Or if the house is not as neat and organized as I would like to be? So what if we have to wait in line for an hour to get the Santa photo; maybe it will give the family some time to talk and laugh? Stuck in traffic? That means I should crank up the cd in the car and practice the Christmas Cantata music.
There will NEVER be enough time or money to accomplish all the crazy things that I want before the calendar changes over from 2016 to 2017. (And just how did we get there any way?) Maybe it's time for me to stop panicking over what I can't control and just go back to bed and get some sleep.
Well...at least I can try. (Because if you know me, you know that's probably NOT going to happen.) Try to forget the laundry that is now dry in the dryer. (I can't put it away now...the house is dark and the boys are asleep. I'm not crazy enough to try to fold and put clothes away in dressers and closets in the dark.) Try to relax (ha!) and get some of that much needed sleep that I never seem to get enough of.
All of the crazy end of the year panic IS out of my control. I can try to control it and history has told me that I WILL get most of it accomplished. Perhaps I can just settle for that.