SOMWaD: I Can't Do It All and Neither Can You!
Helen Gurley Brown once wrote a book called Having It All. I still have my serious doubts about it. Maybe there is someone out there who does have it all. (Anyone care to chime in here?) I can tell you with all honesty that I can't DO it all...and neither can you! (I dare you to try and prove me wrong.)
I TRY to do it all. Or at least I try do it most all of it. As a SOMWaD (Stressed-Out Mother, Wife and Daughter) there are so many things that I TRY to accomplish in the span of a day, weekend or week. No matter how hard I try, there is always something else that I need to do. Or so it seems. I'm betting most moms/women/people feel the same way. Let's just take a few seconds and look at what the last few days of my life have looked like:
- Thursday: Fought my way through a horrible traffic jam as I was trying to get to work "early" (I estimated that I would arrive at work by 7:45; turned out 8:10 was what I ended up with). Worked until 2 during which I drove back home (stopping to fill up the gas tank). Then drove down to the school where I picked up my son and his 5 large boxes of frozen cheesecakes and other goodies that he (I?) had sold as part of the music fundraiser. Three of us (hubby, son and me) loaded up the car and then figured out who got what. Labeled boxes. Drover around town for over an hour delivering. (Made the boy do most of the work, as he should have.) Since many were sold to friends from church, we brought most of them and squeezed them into the church freezer. Returning home, son did homework and I did "work" work. (Thank goodness for remote working; especially as the power at my building had gone out just an hour after I had left.) After that, we had a family discussion (school work woes again!), had dinner, watched a bit of tv (son and I have bonded over "Big Bang Theory" and "The Good Place.") before calling it a day.
- Friday: After the requisite early morning hour + of exercise, I got hubby up and asked him to quickly put a grocery list together. The power was back at my office, but the server wouldn't be up till 9 (which I knew would mean after 9). I thought we could run to the grocery store, avoiding the usual Friday night craziness. Took the boy and his friend to school at 7:30 (Fridays are early morning band rehearsals). Ran to the grocery store. (Thankfully it was pretty deserted.) Came home. Started the coffeemaker, put the laundry in the dryer, grabbed my coffee and headed to work. Arrived at 9;10 or so. (I'm supposed to be there by 9; most days I am in by 8:15 or so since I drop the kid off at school before 8 three days a week. Why go back home to sit for 10 minutes or so before heading out? It's easier to just drop and go.) Worked till 5:15 or so and got home by 6;15. Made dinner (I think...funny I can't remember what we did that night) and started another load of laundry. Went to bed, only to wake up around midnight and put the wash in the dryer. Found myself thinking of all the things I need to do between now and the end of the year and as a result couldn't sleep, so I blogged about it! (http://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2016/11/somwad-if-im-gaining-hour-why-do-i-feel.html)
- Saturday: Got up and did the requisite exercise...only not as rigorously as the weekday or as early. (What can I say, it IS the weekend.) Got the boy up and out of the house by 9 so that I could get him to church to help out with the Sunday Supper Program (a great monthly program that provides a hot meal plus to shut ins) and I could go to an extra choir rehearsal. (Christmas is closer than you think! Christmas Cantata is only a month away!) Before and after rehearsal, I helped out (though not a lot) in the church thrift shop. Then it was back home where we had company. Nice to see friends, but I had some office work that I had to finish up and more laundry.
- Sunday: We got that extra hour of sleep and I am grateful. So I had more time in the morning to work on my "homemade' holiday gifts. (Well sort of homemade; I have the help of Snapfish to create my annual calendar. This isn't giving away any great secret. After 5+ years of doing this I think my parents and in laws expect it). Then it was off to church for choir rehearsal, service and then my son's choir rehearsal. After lunch, I tried to run some errands, but ran into lots of little snafus. (Sears is undergoing renovation and half the area of the store is closed. Shoprite was such a nightmare that I gave up with two items in my basket and walked out. Thankfully Foodtown was a little easier to navigate, at least inside the store. Let's not talk about the parking lot!) Got home and made an "easy" no bake pie. (Because my son announced today that we never have pie.) May look easy on the box, but...Of course it could have something to do with the fact that I was trying to "improve" upon it since what I really wanted to make I couldn't since neither grocery store that I visited. There's still lunches to make for tomorrow and dinner for tonight...and the sun is already starting to fade from the sky. Where has the time gone? I thought we got that extra hour? Did I mention that this was SUPPOSED to be the weekend where we cleaned the house. (That would be all of us, not just me.)
This upcoming week is a short one. Well, sort of. My son only has 2-1/2 days of school this week. I'm taking Friday off. The long weekend will be nice. (Especially since this weekend has flown by.) But before we get there I have to: replace a blinker light on my car (which I didn't do this weekend, since the service station I go to didn't seem to be open yesterday as they usually are), vote (let's not even go there!), attend a two-day company sales meeting that starts Tuesday at 8 AM and ends Wednesday at 5, pack up for the weekend (which my son does not yet know about) and do a "million" other things that I'm not remembering.
But while I do a lot (as the above list will attest to), I am not alone. It seems like everyone I know is running around trying to do it all. None of us are succeeding! For all that I did in these past few days, there is more that I DIDN'T get around to. There is more to do. Some of it will just NOT get done. Even with help, we CAN'T do it all. It's just not possible.
So while I try to do as much as possible, there are going to be things that I forget. Birthday cards that get mailed after the fact. Dust bunnies that will continue to grow. Dishes that haven't been put away. The paint will continue to peel. Piles of "stuff" will continue to accumulate. There will be a mess in my son's room and Legos will continue to find my delicate feet before my eyes can see them. It's just the way of the world.
I can't do it all. Neither can you. And that's ok. Maybe it doesn't feel that way, but it IS ok. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed by all the "stuff" that you need to do; remember that I told you this: You CAN'T do it all. And that's ok.
And when I am feeling overwhelmed and crazy (and when am I NOT?), I hope YOU will remind me of the same.
Modern life is crazy. That's not a bad thing and it's not a good thing. It's just the way it is. You can't do it all. If anyone tell you that you can, just send them my way.