Dear Mom: The First Day of Winter

 

Dear Mom,

Another season is about to be upon us; our least favorite. The solstice is officially at 4:47 pm and it will be dark.  The shortest day of the year.  (Yuck!)  Only 90 days till spring.

The holidays are almost here too.  Thanksgiving was strange without you and I'm sure that Christmas will be the same.  I can't believe that the last "real" Christmas we had together was in 2019.  (And even that was a little off, since you and dad had to drive an hour and a half each way to get to us instead of just walking over.)  You never know what life will hand us, so we need to appreciate each precious moment.  (I say that, will I do it?  Probably not.)

I, like you, will never be a fan of the cold.  This Christmas is supposed to be brutal, but with no snow.  However, there will be torrential rain (and wind) in the days prior which means when the temperatures plunge it will all turn to ice.  Maybe we should all just stay inside, cuddle up and watch Christmas movies.  (As if I could get your teen grandson to do that!)  I'll probably bake more of my chocolate cinnamon sugar cookies because as fast as I make them your grandson consumes them.  (I'll admit I do my own heavy consumption)

I SHOULD be in the holiday mood; tonight is your grandson's final holiday concert at the high school.  (It's also his first holiday concert since his freshman year; thank you Covid.)  It's going to be a long night with lots of music.  Maybe it will put me in the holiday mood?  I wouldn't count on it. My knee is still out of whack and the walk to the auditorium is LONG, at least when you aren't in the best shape.  (I never thought about it until this stupid knee thing happened 3 weeks ago!)  I'm also a little bit like you after your mother died...I just can't get into it.  I don't want to be that way, but...

I'm more looking forward to the spring musical in which your grandson has a leading part!  (Rewarded his senior year!)  It's one of your favorites, "Hello Dolly!"  I know you saw it on Broadway with Carol Channing in the leading role and it made quite an impression on you.  It made an impression on me when you took me to see it at the high school (45) years ago.  (Gulp...) Is it kismet that this particular musical will be his final show?  I'll be in the front row for all 4 shows and will probably cry.  (No surprise there.)

We are still waiting on a college acceptance letter and we're all a bit anxious.  He was supposed to hear last week (or at least that was what we were told), but there's been nothing.  Of the three colleges that he most wanted to attend, one is closing after the spring semester (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2022/12/throwing-monkey-wrench-into.html), one he has been accepted to and then there is the final one which has ghosted us.  (Or so it seems.)  I'd like more good news for the holidays, because after this year we could really use some good news.  (If there is any such thing as heavenly intervention, you want to give the admissions team a nudge in the right direction?)

We need 2023 to be a better year, one where we can really start to heal from all the losses and pain we've had in 2022.  I just keep trying to take deep breaths and take comfort in the fact that it's almost over.

I Love You and MISS You.

Me