Its 3:00 on Thanksgiving
morning and my husband is downstairs watching or getting ready to watch the
Beatles Get Back, a documentary film by Peter Jackson. (If you didn’t
know this; you should) This is like
Christmas morning and his birthday all wrapped up in one. He is a hardcore
Beatles fan and this is THE DAY of days. If this were a different time or a
different year I would probably be down there with him watching. (I still
remember Anthology Thanksgiving of 1995.) I should be down there
watching with him. I am (or maybe I was?) a huge Beatle fan but right now life
is a little crazy. There was a time when I was a true Beatles expert, but I
cannot claim that in 2021. Life is a little topsy-turvy. I am completely out of
sorts and confused.
I'm not exactly sure
where this month went or where it is going. It started on a high. We went as a
three-person family up to one of my favorite places, Skytop. We had a wonderful
time. Then we came home and it all came crashing down.
Somewhere between the
time that we left Skytop (a Sunday afternoon) and now the month has gone by.
I'm not exactly sure how or where or what but everything that's just run into
each other. I spent over a week taking care of my parents. I proudly watched my
son performing four times in the high school fall production (the first shows
that have been performed at the auditorium at the high school since March of
2020). I have worked the frantic pace of the final quarter of the year for my
job. (The one that pays me) And I've
done my best to prepare for this holiday for which we are supposed to be
thankful.
Somewhere in there I am
supposed to have slept. I know I have slept. I need to sleep more. My body
doesn't seem to want to agree with that. My body I've put through hell this
month. I apologize to my body for that. However, I don't know what else to do
and my mind often rebels against everything that I should be doing. I know this
doesn't make much sense. But then life hasn't been making much sense for me.
This is been a month of
highs and lows. It started on a high, a great family vacation and I hope it
will end on a high, as I am going to a concert on the very last day of the
month. If this were any other time I would be really looking forward to it. (I was really excited when I purchased the
tickets.) Right now I have to remind myself that it’s happening in less than a
week. I've had to put up a reminder in Google to get the tickets and to get my
vaccine card ready. I have a real fears
that I might drive halfway to the concert venue and suddenly remember that I
don't have my tickets or my vaccination card in hand and have to turn around
and go back home.
During this time I’ve
tried to keep everything on a semi even keel. To try and make my family and
myself happy. Doing that makes no one truly
happy.
I've tried to take care
of my parents and I think I'm done halfway decent job. I've tried to take care
of my immediate family and I've done a somewhat okay job. There is a part of me
that wants this holiday to be semi traditional and special. It's part of my
makeup. I should let it go. However I don't seem to be able to. While I am
aware that things change; I also want to hold on to some things to keep them
the same.
We really haven't been
able to have what most people would call a traditional Thanksgiving holiday
ever. That's because I'm allergic to turkey (and all poultry). So no turkey for
this family. Is my family missing out? I
do feel guilty about it at times, but that's the way it is.
I've tried to make my
own unique traditions. Such as breaking out Story Elf on the day before
Thanksgiving. After setting it up yesterday morning both my husband and my son
balked at the idea. So I took the batteries out and put it away and felt really
sad. Which is really kind of dumb, but hey it's the way I felt
I tried to keep a family
night tradition the night before Thanksgiving. I planned on ordering pizza and
watching some family friendly television even though my son is now a teen. It
was a half day at school and my son want to be with his friends so he didn’t
get home until much later than I would have expected (or liked). I was supposed
to work till 2:00 but it’s the 4th quarter ended up working closer
till 4:30. My husband and I ordered
pizza for the two of us (although my son did show up and eat some). It was
really lousy. I really need to find a better place for your average ordinary pizza
because the place around here that everybody raves about really isn't all that
great and always very crazy. (People TRIPLE parking in the lot?)
I wanted to keep some
food traditions even though we aren't having a big family feast around my
dining room table this year. While I was working yesterday (still from home
thank goodness) I made two vegan pumpkin breads with maple cream cheese filling
for a family to enjoy. It was a pain that you know what but its tradition (although
a relatively new one) and a lot of people enjoy it, including myself. So I made
it.
My son clearly wants to
uphold traditions too. Our beloved Aunt Julie moved out of our town and back to
the hometown that she loves. (And is
thriving in.) She always used to make a cranberry Jell-O mold. We really missed it last year so my son
wanted to make that himself. I bought the ingredients and he was going to put
it together. He's never really made anything like that before in his life. I
figured it was going to be a challenge.
He started that after
dinner last night and it didn't go very well. He couldn't get the can of
pineapple open with the can opener. I have come to think the cans are not being
made quite the way they should have anymore because I too have problems getting
them open sometimes. However he really
mangled the can. As a result I called in my husband who did manage to get it
open but mangled his finger in the meantime. (He probably should have gone to
get stitches) Not the way you want to
have a pre- Thanksgiving evening.
Back to my son; he did
try to make the cranberry mold following directions that I got on my phone. He
did the stirring; I chopped up the celery. He mixed in all the ingredients and I cleaned
up the dishes. I hope to have but it comes out okay. We'll see.
Later this morning (because
after all it's not even 4:00 yet), I will get up and go to the local bagel
place and get… bagels (and lox too). I
will get my son out of bed which will not be easy. I will load up the car with
bagels and other food and we will head down to my parents. My son really
doesn't want to travel on Thanksgiving Day. I don't really want to travel on
Thanksgiving Day. Does anyone want to travel on Thanksgiving? We all know
what's going to be a mess. However, we will go down and we will have a brunch /
lunch with my parents. And my husband will set up a new phone system for them because
their phones are old. Old and a complete
mess! (Some won’t pick up; some won’t
dial out.)We need to make things easier for them as their life is getting a
little bit more difficult.
After we have eaten and
done all the things that we need to do. I will drive home with my guys. The traffic will be worse (because it will be
later in the day) Then I will make a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal. A vegan
turkey along with rice and some vegetable that only I will eat. I cannot forget the cranberry mold that my
son (sort of) made last night, that I hope will be good. And maybe some of that
pumpkin bread with maple cream cheese filling.
After all that that I
would collapse. And I probably will. I will sleep for a couple hours. Then I
will wake up just as I have now and wonder why the heck I'm not sleeping while all
I’ve been doing is running around and doing crazy things for this month… I
should be really exhausted and I should sleep but it just doesn't happen.
So I tomorrow I get up
and do things to prepare for my in-laws who are coming out the day after Thanksgiving.
I am thankful that my husband asked them to come to us instead of us going to
them. He thinks I'm too exhausted to do all this driving. He is right but I
would have done it anyway because…well… just because.
So Friday we will have
our second Thanksgiving with my in-laws.
This also will not be traditional. It will be a deli kind of meal, which
everybody loves and everyone looks forward to. My mother-in-law will bring some
of the fixings. My husband and I will go shopping at six Friday morning .(Yes
we will go grocery shopping on Black Friday morning because we always go
grocery shopping on Friday morning…except for when we don't go grocery shopping
on Friday morning. I know it makes no sense.) Then around noon time we will
host my in-laws for another meal.
I know this is all
rambling and I know this doesn't make sense. Nothing seems to make sense. After
all I should be sleeping. It's 3:00 in the morning. And I just don't know what
to do. Perhaps someday I'll figure it
out. Someday I'll manage to come up with a better plan to keep myself on an
even keel and to take it a better care of myself while taking care of others at
the same time. (I know I am not alone in
trying to do this…)
I guess I'll just wrap this
up this by saying I hope you and yours had a very happy Thanksgiving. It's not
about the food. It's not about what's
done’ it's about being together and appreciating one another. (Or at least
trying to! That's something I need to learn how to do a little bit better.)
Remember, it's also not
about killing yourself trying to get it all done. Take care of yourself. Take
care of yourself so that you can take care of your family. Take care of
yourself so that you can tell stories like this. After all, as crazy as life is I am thankful.
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