Random rambling: 3 AM Thanksgiving Morning

Its 3:00 on Thanksgiving morning and my husband is downstairs watching or getting ready to watch the Beatles Get Back, a documentary film by Peter Jackson. (If you didn’t know this; you should)  This is like Christmas morning and his birthday all wrapped up in one. He is a hardcore Beatles fan and this is THE DAY of days. If this were a different time or a different year I would probably be down there with him watching. (I still remember Anthology Thanksgiving of 1995.) I should be down there watching with him. I am (or maybe I was?) a huge Beatle fan but right now life is a little crazy. There was a time when I was a true Beatles expert, but I cannot claim that in 2021. Life is a little topsy-turvy. I am completely out of sorts and confused.

 I'm not exactly sure where this month went or where it is going. It started on a high. We went as a three-person family up to one of my favorite places, Skytop. We had a wonderful time. Then we came home and it all came crashing down.

 Somewhere between the time that we left Skytop (a Sunday afternoon) and now the month has gone by. I'm not exactly sure how or where or what but everything that's just run into each other. I spent over a week taking care of my parents. I proudly watched my son performing four times in the high school fall production (the first shows that have been performed at the auditorium at the high school since March of 2020). I have worked the frantic pace of the final quarter of the year for my job. (The one that pays me)  And I've done my best to prepare for this holiday for which we are supposed to be thankful.

 Somewhere in there I am supposed to have slept. I know I have slept. I need to sleep more. My body doesn't seem to want to agree with that. My body I've put through hell this month. I apologize to my body for that. However, I don't know what else to do and my mind often rebels against everything that I should be doing. I know this doesn't make much sense. But then life hasn't been making much sense for me.

 This is been a month of highs and lows. It started on a high, a great family vacation and I hope it will end on a high, as I am going to a concert on the very last day of the month. If this were any other time I would be really looking forward to it.  (I was really excited when I purchased the tickets.) Right now I have to remind myself that it’s happening in less than a week. I've had to put up a reminder in Google to get the tickets and to get my vaccine card ready.  I have a real fears that I might drive halfway to the concert venue and suddenly remember that I don't have my tickets or my vaccination card in hand and have to turn around and go back home.

 During this time I’ve tried to keep everything on a semi even keel. To try and make my family and myself happy.  Doing that makes no one truly happy.

I've tried to take care of my parents and I think I'm done halfway decent job. I've tried to take care of my immediate family and I've done a somewhat okay job. There is a part of me that wants this holiday to be semi traditional and special. It's part of my makeup. I should let it go. However I don't seem to be able to. While I am aware that things change; I also want to hold on to some things to keep them the same.

 We really haven't been able to have what most people would call a traditional Thanksgiving holiday ever. That's because I'm allergic to turkey (and all poultry). So no turkey for this family. Is my family missing out?  I do feel guilty about it at times, but that's the way it is.

 I've tried to make my own unique traditions. Such as breaking out Story Elf on the day before Thanksgiving. After setting it up yesterday morning both my husband and my son balked at the idea. So I took the batteries out and put it away and felt really sad. Which is really kind of dumb, but hey it's the way I felt

 I tried to keep a family night tradition the night before Thanksgiving. I planned on ordering pizza and watching some family friendly television even though my son is now a teen. It was a half day at school and my son want to be with his friends so he didn’t get home until much later than I would have expected (or liked). I was supposed to work till 2:00 but it’s the 4th quarter ended up working closer till 4:30.  My husband and I ordered pizza for the two of us (although my son did show up and eat some). It was really lousy. I really need to find a better place for your average ordinary pizza because the place around here that everybody raves about really isn't all that great and always very crazy. (People TRIPLE parking in the lot?)  

 I wanted to keep some food traditions even though we aren't having a big family feast around my dining room table this year. While I was working yesterday (still from home thank goodness) I made two vegan pumpkin breads with maple cream cheese filling for a family to enjoy. It was a pain that you know what but its tradition (although a relatively new one) and a lot of people enjoy it, including myself. So I made it.

 My son clearly wants to uphold traditions too. Our beloved Aunt Julie moved out of our town and back to the hometown that she loves.  (And is thriving in.) She always used to make a cranberry Jell-O mold.   We really missed it last year so my son wanted to make that himself. I bought the ingredients and he was going to put it together. He's never really made anything like that before in his life. I figured it was going to be a challenge.

 He started that after dinner last night and it didn't go very well. He couldn't get the can of pineapple open with the can opener. I have come to think the cans are not being made quite the way they should have anymore because I too have problems getting them open sometimes.  However he really mangled the can. As a result I called in my husband who did manage to get it open but mangled his finger in the meantime. (He probably should have gone to get stitches)  Not the way you want to have a pre- Thanksgiving evening.

 Back to my son; he did try to make the cranberry mold following directions that I got on my phone. He did the stirring; I chopped up the celery.  He mixed in all the ingredients and I cleaned up the dishes. I hope to have but it comes out okay. We'll see.

 Later this morning (because after all it's not even 4:00 yet), I will get up and go to the local bagel place and get… bagels (and lox too).  I will get my son out of bed which will not be easy. I will load up the car with bagels and other food and we will head down to my parents. My son really doesn't want to travel on Thanksgiving Day. I don't really want to travel on Thanksgiving Day. Does anyone want to travel on Thanksgiving? We all know what's going to be a mess. However, we will go down and we will have a brunch / lunch with my parents. And my husband will set up a new phone system for them because their phones are old.  Old and a complete mess!  (Some won’t pick up; some won’t dial out.)We need to make things easier for them as their life is getting a little bit more difficult.

 After we have eaten and done all the things that we need to do. I will drive home with my guys.  The traffic will be worse (because it will be later in the day) Then I will make a non-traditional Thanksgiving meal. A vegan turkey along with rice and some vegetable that only I will eat.  I cannot forget the cranberry mold that my son (sort of) made last night, that I hope will be good. And maybe some of that pumpkin bread with maple cream cheese filling.

 After all that that I would collapse. And I probably will. I will sleep for a couple hours. Then I will wake up just as I have now and wonder why the heck I'm not sleeping while all I’ve been doing is running around and doing crazy things for this month… I should be really exhausted and I should sleep but it just doesn't happen.

 So I tomorrow I get up and do things to prepare for my in-laws who are coming out the day after Thanksgiving. I am thankful that my husband asked them to come to us instead of us going to them. He thinks I'm too exhausted to do all this driving. He is right but I would have done it anyway because…well… just because.

So Friday we will have our second Thanksgiving with my in-laws.  This also will not be traditional. It will be a deli kind of meal, which everybody loves and everyone looks forward to. My mother-in-law will bring some of the fixings. My husband and I will go shopping at six Friday morning .(Yes we will go grocery shopping on Black Friday morning because we always go grocery shopping on Friday morning…except for when we don't go grocery shopping on Friday morning. I know it makes no sense.) Then around noon time we will host my in-laws for another meal.

 I know this is all rambling and I know this doesn't make sense. Nothing seems to make sense. After all I should be sleeping. It's 3:00 in the morning. And I just don't know what to do.  Perhaps someday I'll figure it out. Someday I'll manage to come up with a better plan to keep myself on an even keel and to take it a better care of myself while taking care of others at the same time.  (I know I am not alone in trying to do this…)

 I guess I'll just wrap this up this by saying I hope you and yours had a very happy Thanksgiving. It's not about the food.  It's not about what's done’ it's about being together and appreciating one another. (Or at least trying to! That's something I need to learn how to do a little bit better.)

 Remember, it's also not about killing yourself trying to get it all done. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family. Take care of yourself so that you can tell stories like this.  After all, as crazy as life is I am thankful.


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