Not on Board
Thank you for not asking
me. I'm relieve that I wasn't. I have been in the past. I
have said yes. But this time I was going to have to say:
"no."
Unfortunately, my time,
as is the case with so many other people, is limited and precious. To get to an
early evening meeting, I rushed home from work, scarfed down a quick dinner
(without my family) and to get here before seven. But that's not where it
ends; when we wrap up I will be going across the hall to weekly choir practice.
By the time I get home it will be after nine and I will not have seen my son
since 7:30 in the morning.
This crazy running
around is not atypical by any measure. Let me give you a peak into a typical
day for me:
- Wake up between 4:00/5:00 AM. Get up, throw on
some workout clothes, put on sneakers, and reflective vest (its dark out).
Grab hand weights and phone (for music to listen to and app to track
distance and time). This plus other little added tasks in the
morning takes about 15 minutes.
- Out the door walking for approximately 90 minutes.
(Used to be less, but I'm slowing down as I get older. And
YES! I am getting old.) If I don't walk or do some form of exercise
during this time, it won't get done. In order to be a healthy,
productive human being, daily exercise is a must. I've been doing this for
over 5 years. I need to be back in the house before 6:15 when my
son's alarm goes off.
- Between 6:15 and 7:25: Shower, dress, hair and
make-up. Get kid up, out of bed and fed. Make sure we both
have all the supplies we need for the day (lunches, paperwork etc.)
Watch 5 minutes of CBS This Morning. (Or at least "your
world in 90 seconds at the top of the 7 o'clock hour.) Handle
miscellaneous chores and crises as they pop up. (And they always pop up!
Ask any parent who is rushing out the door.)
- Between 7:30 and 7:40: In the car, pick up son's
friend for band or choir (which child depends on which day it is) and get
them both to school.
- Between 7:40 and 8:40: Battle traffic.
Daily commute time varies depending on road construction (it can
take me 5+ minutes just to get out of the middle school drop off area),
traffic conditions (why must we slow down and gawk at the car on the
shoulder?) and weather.
- Arrive at the office between 8:00 and 9:00. My
day "officially" starts at 9:00, but timing depends on traffic.
Also, to avoid major crowds, usually on Fridays after I drop off at
the middle school, my husband and I head to the grocery store and do the
weeks shopping. (The difference between shopping BEFORE 8 AM and
after work on any given day is AMAZING.) Whatever day is grocery day
I tend to arrive a little late to work.
- My work day "ends" at 5:00, give or take.
(Is there a working person out there who has their day actually end
at a given time? The clock may say 5 PM, but the phone still rings
and the emails still come in. Urgent issues don't appear in the
middle of the day; it's usually at the end of the day or very early in the
morning.) Then it's off to battle traffic as I head home.
- I usually get home around 6. I spend the next
hour prepping for the next day (making lunches, laying out clothes),
making dinner (or helping the husband make it), and doing various chores
(like checking the mail and paying bills).
- From 7:00 to 9:30 (give or take), is "down
time." It's time to catch up on items that I didn't accomplish
during the day. Maybe run a load of laundry. Scrub a toilet? Answer
more emails. Start writing a blog post. Make sure the boy has done
all his homework, practiced his trumpet, read for 20 minutes etc. If
I'm lucky, I can hop in the shower first and before I head to bed to read
or watch a little tv. (If I'm really lucky all three of us will
climb in and watch something together.)
So it goes day by day.
My weekends are a little less scheduled. I do "sleep in"
till 6 or 7 before doing the daily walk. The rest of my Saturday and
Sundays are for catching up on things I DIDN'T accomplish during the week. (Which
is why my house nearly always looks like it needs a cleaning...it does!)
All those little things add up and take time. (Even living in a small
house with one bathroom!). There's also work at the Thrift Shop on
Saturdays and choir, church services and various meetings on Sunday. And
I have to admit that I like having some personal/family fun time on Saturday
and Sunday afternoons and evenings.
As you can see, my time
is limited and to be quite frank, at the end of the day, I am pretty worn out.
I'm definitely not thinking straight. And I know I am not alone.
I am not unique as there are many of us who work full time and have a
plethora a family obligations. (Some of us care of children, some for
parents and some for both!) And I won't even mention the challenges that some face
on a daily basis that zap strength and resolve. Our world seems to spin
faster and faster with more to do and less available time to do it.
While I can't speak for
anyone other than myself, I want to serve and I enjoy volunteering in areas
where I fit best. Many of those areas are "non-traditional" and
don't require weekly or monthly meetings. End of the day meetings are not where I excel, so I appreciate these "alternative" opportunities. This is where I feel that I can fill a niche and be helpful in a unique way.
So please know, that if
I say "no" it's not that I don't want to serve. I DO and will,
but need to do so in a way that fits the lifestyle of my family. (And I'm
sure so do many others.)
Also know that just
because I say I can't now, doesn't mean I won't in the future. I'm always
pleased to be asked and when the time and situation allows, I hope you will ask
again and perhaps then I will say yes. The road we all travel is ever
changing and so are our roles. Those who are unable to serve in certain
capacities now may be able to later. And those who serve in
"non-traditional" roles are the ones who make the collective
"us" a unique and wonderful.
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