The "Middle" Age

I have come to realize that I am in the "middle" age.  I don't mean I am middle aged.  (Although that is true.  Once you hit 40 you are in middle age, since the average American lives to about 80.  Of course in my mind middle age isn't until 60 or so, but people rarely live to 120.  Who wants to admit that they are getting older?  But all of this is totally off the topic at hand.)  What I mean is that I am in the middle, or as a friend told me recently, I am the in the sandwich generation.

The term sandwich generation might be a little bit better.  And explains my situation better too.  I am in the middle.  Concerned about my son (as any mother would be) AND about my parents, as well as my in laws.   There will come a time, in the not so distant future I am afraid, where I will be "parenting" not only my son but my parents.   Eventually, I expect that I will also be looking after (in one way or another) my in laws.  (And as I write this my mother in law has landed in a rehab facility after falling and fracturing her hip...and she is young when it comes to grandmothers!)

We live in a difficult time.  Financially, I support my family of three.  Emotionally, I support a larger group.  I care for my child (as does my husband).  I will also care for my parents when that is needed.  (Just as they cared for me as a child.)  If my husband needs care, I will care for him too. (And with him having diabetes and some complications arising from that, I'm thinking that this might happen sooner rather than later.  I know we agreed to sickness and in health, but enough with the sickness stuff!)  All while (hopefully) holding down a full time job.

It seems to be an overwhelming task.  And yet is is one that must done.  At least for me, there are no other options.  These are the people that I love and will care for in whatever way I can.  (Who knows what that might mean?  Will we all live together in one house?  Will my parents move to an adult community where I will visit as on a daily basis?)  I already check in with my parents at least twice a day.  Although I sometimes wonder who is checking on who.


I know I am not unique in my situation.  There are plenty of people I know who care for children and parents at the same time.  It is, however, an awesome responsibility.  And when the time comes for me to take the mantle on, I hope I will do it with care, grace and understanding.

Comments

  1. Queen of DishingJuly 7, 2014 at 9:38 AM

    I think more and more people your age and my age will be facing these challenges as we get older. I know Mom and Dad have spent so much time "caring" for those around them, both older and younger...

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Have Taken America Back

Image
Back to a time when all men (and women) are not created equal.  Where women's healthcare is determined by men's laws and not by medical professionals. Where education tells only the "winning" side of the story and truth does not matter.  Where banning and burning books is a social event.  Where people who are "different" than those in power can be mocked, shunned and hurt with no real consequences. Where lies are acceptable and integrity is  just a word on a page We have moved into a time where rage is the rage.  Where hate is not just normal, but accepted and even cheered. Where leaders can ask to have their "enemies" killed and no one will bat an eye.  Where it's "funny" to see someone struggle.  Where felony is applauded. Where compassion is not shown and caring for others is looked down upon. We have taken America back to a time of pain and suffering for many.  Back to when the "haves" can have and the have nots don'...
Read more

It's Not About Starbucks (or is it)?

Image
  About a block and a half from my home in a major intersection.  At the southeast corner (which is nearest to me), is an empty building.  Back in 1995 it was a Bank of NY (I remember this because they didn't shovel/de-ice their parking lot well and my husband fell and broke his ankle one Monday morning.  I recall this clearly because we were not yet married and it was the first day of a new job for me.  I had gotten on the bus to work and he was catching a later one; only he never got there.  Instead he ended up laying on the ground until an employee came to open up the bank.  Then he had them call an ambulance AND my mother who took control of the situation until I arrived home that night blissfully unaware of what had happened that day.)  It eventually became a Chase Bank; the second one in my small little town.  It eventually closed.  I'm not sure when but it's been empty for quite a long time.  (I do know that it was open in 20...
Read more

As Is

Image
  Today I want to discuss what I think it is a relatively simple concept, but may be difficult for some, even an attorney who might have once, over a decade ago won a  prestigious award  for young lawyers .  That term is "AS IS." As you may know, I volunteer in a thrift shop.  Everything we sell, from all the donations we receive, is "as is."  The items are not brand new.  They are not perfect.  That doesn't mean they aren't any good or worth something. They are sold "as is."  Buyers should go in knowing that. (After all you are shopping in a thrift shop!)  In some cases, particularly when we are offering higher end products, we will actually write on the price tag, "as is." Such is the case of two designer purses that I purchased from there this summer.  (I'm a purse-aholic!  Don't look in my closet.)  They were reasonably priced (especially when you consider the name brand), but each had an "as is" clearly marked o...
Read more