Don't Give Up
Yesterday was a bad day. It had NOTHING to do with the pandemic and everything to do with work. It was a good thing that I was working from home so that the woman I report to could not see that I was I was crying and I covered my microphone so she couldn't hear me sobbing at various points in our conversation. I was at a point yesterday where I just wanted to give up. I wanted to say: "I quit. I can't do this. To me it seems like you think I can't do this. You don't understand me." But I didn't. And it wasn't out of any nobleness; I need this job and this paycheck. I need to keep going.
After our conversation, I took a break and went for a walk. I am lucky enough to be able to do so and I realize that. I tried to enjoy the sun on my face. I tried to enjoy the view. It worked; a little. Not enough, but enough to keep me going.
While I was on that walk, my former boss called me. We still work together even though I don't report to him. One of the reasons I enjoyed working for him (and still enjoy working with him) is that he takes mistakes/errors and makes them "teachable moments." He'll say "lesson learned" and we move forward. I think that's something we all need. We all screw up. We all screw up multiple times for a multitude of reasons. We need someone to point to our mistake and show us how to move forward. As we talked, he didn't say that I was to blame for something, but he didn't let me off the hook either. As he was trying to work out a solution to our current situation he said, "this is nobody's fault; and everybody's fault." He is right; the problem is not the result of one person, but of a large group of people who are failing to communicate and work together. (There is still an us/them culture.) I am not alone in this (although it sure the heck feel that way). I can work with him and others to communicate better and eventually things will get better. Maybe not perfectly or exactly the way we want them, but better.
I was and am grateful that his call came yesterday afternoon while I was at a low point. While I still had a few moments throughout the day (and to be honest I'm having some now), he encouraged me to move forward. Even though I no longer report to him, he is still providing me with teachable moments.
So here is MY teachable moment for you; even though I'm no teacher, leader or expert of everything. Don't Give Up. I'm not saying don't cry. I'm not saying don't be angry. I AM saying, keep moving forward. For those of you who are ill; keep fighting and keep trying. Do what you can...and what you can do looks different than what someone else's can do looks like. We are not here to compare one another or judge one another. We are here to keep moving forward. Or as one of my favorite fish once said: "Just keep swimming."
We are all different, yet we are all the same. We are sharing this planet together; now in this moment. Each of us has something to offer; even though we may not know it. Don't give up.
We are all faced with moments of unbearable pain; be it physical, emotional, spiritual...don't give up. Move forward; slowly. Life is not a race to be run; it is a journey to move through, to learn from, and to hopefully enjoy.
This is a difficult time for ALL of us; we are all just at different levels of dealing with this crisis. When it seems too hard to bear; don't give up. There are still lessons to learn. There are still smiles to share.
We will need to rest, but we can't JUST rest. We will need to cry, but we can't JUST cry. We might be angry, but we can't JUST be angry. Keep moving...don't give up.
Stay safe...stay sane. And DON'T GIVE UP.