One Down; Eleven To Go

 


January is finally on its way out.  Logically, I know that January has 31 days, but emotionally this month has felt like at least 730 days! I know others feel the same way. There have been days when my stress level has been through the roof.  I know others (too many others) have experienced the same thing.  I am not alone when I say 2025, one month in has NOT been a banner one thus far.   Cold weather, biting winds, fierce fires and so much other drama is so draining and exhausting. And in my heart I know that I actually have a pretty good, even though it doesn't feel that way. Is it any wonder that when it gets dark out (and I DO know that the days are getting longer, but it doesn't feel like it yet), I just want to take a hot shower, grab my pjs and jump into bed?  It feels like my only refuge from all the daily chaos.  (And to be honest it's not that much of a refuge.)

Sometimes it feels like fear rules my life. I'm sure it feels the same way for many other people. I wasn't aware of how much fear influence me until I happened to catch the movie defending your life on TCM one evening. In watching it I realized that I was like the main character played by Albert Brooks. It upset me. I had to stop watching, even though I really enjoyed it. I had seen it before but then it had not affected me like it did recently. What had changed? I'd say uncertainty in my life and in the world made us all fearful and all stressed out to the point where daily living is not a joy. 

My fear has resulted in me becoming somewhat (?!) superstitious.   For example, there is a chair that I want to purchase.  It's on sale and I've been thinking about it for over a month.  I can afford it (although let's face it I'd like it do go further down in price even more), but I've got it stuck in my head that if I buy the chair, something will go wrong.  If I buy the chair, I will lose my job.  If I buy the chair, some financial catastrophe will occur in my life.  I want the chair.  I'm afraid to buy the chair.  Completely irrational; totally silly and yet...  Every time I go look at the chair online, I find that while I might be able to put it in my card, I just can't hit the buy button.

It's a combination of irrational (?) fear and ongoing stress.  Things that we shouldn't and can't let rule or lives, and yet it is so easy for them to.  It's easy to focus on the negative when it seems to surround us.  But that won't move us forward.

So, while I am grateful that his incredibly long month of January will soon be behind us, I'm focusing on moving forward.  To find hope even when things seem hopeless.  To see the positive and push the negative back.  To embrace the light and leave the darkness behind us.

It sounds easy. It's not. I have been specifically looking out with things that can bring me comfort and joy. I have taken to reading a daily devotional that was gifted to me by a friend from college. This may not be the answer for everybody, but for me reading from this devotional helps me to start the day with a somewhat positive outlook. Additionally, I am reading a book written by Bishop Marianne Edgar Budde.   No, it's not How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith, which I could not find a physical copy of.  (Could this book make it to the top of the bestseller list?  I would love it if it did!)  Instead I am reading an earlier book, Receiving Jesus:  The Way of Love.  I'm reading it purposely and slowly.  A little bit every day to uplift me when I am anxious.  Reading this and a daily devotional are not the answer to my problems, but they do calm me somewhat.  And I will talk any speck of calm that I can.

I am not going to suddenly feel no fear.  My anxiety is not going to vanish in the night.  But I can find things and PEOPLE to move me into a better space.  Finding friends and even those we don't know that well to speak to can be a balm to the soul.  Being a friend, even to those we do not know well, can help others and ourselves.  To move out the long darkness that January as brought and forward into the rest of 2025, we can support one another and diminish (not eradicate) our fear and anxiety.

Good bye January.  Hello to February.  Maybe it's time for me to click that buy link for that chair.  What do you think?



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

We Have Taken America Back

Image
Back to a time when all men (and women) are not created equal.  Where women's healthcare is determined by men's laws and not by medical professionals. Where education tells only the "winning" side of the story and truth does not matter.  Where banning and burning books is a social event.  Where people who are "different" than those in power can be mocked, shunned and hurt with no real consequences. Where lies are acceptable and integrity is  just a word on a page We have moved into a time where rage is the rage.  Where hate is not just normal, but accepted and even cheered. Where leaders can ask to have their "enemies" killed and no one will bat an eye.  Where it's "funny" to see someone struggle.  Where felony is applauded. Where compassion is not shown and caring for others is looked down upon. We have taken America back to a time of pain and suffering for many.  Back to when the "haves" can have and the have nots don'...
Read more

It's Not About Starbucks (or is it)?

Image
  About a block and a half from my home in a major intersection.  At the southeast corner (which is nearest to me), is an empty building.  Back in 1995 it was a Bank of NY (I remember this because they didn't shovel/de-ice their parking lot well and my husband fell and broke his ankle one Monday morning.  I recall this clearly because we were not yet married and it was the first day of a new job for me.  I had gotten on the bus to work and he was catching a later one; only he never got there.  Instead he ended up laying on the ground until an employee came to open up the bank.  Then he had them call an ambulance AND my mother who took control of the situation until I arrived home that night blissfully unaware of what had happened that day.)  It eventually became a Chase Bank; the second one in my small little town.  It eventually closed.  I'm not sure when but it's been empty for quite a long time.  (I do know that it was open in 20...
Read more

As Is

Image
  Today I want to discuss what I think it is a relatively simple concept, but may be difficult for some, even an attorney who might have once, over a decade ago won a  prestigious award  for young lawyers .  That term is "AS IS." As you may know, I volunteer in a thrift shop.  Everything we sell, from all the donations we receive, is "as is."  The items are not brand new.  They are not perfect.  That doesn't mean they aren't any good or worth something. They are sold "as is."  Buyers should go in knowing that. (After all you are shopping in a thrift shop!)  In some cases, particularly when we are offering higher end products, we will actually write on the price tag, "as is." Such is the case of two designer purses that I purchased from there this summer.  (I'm a purse-aholic!  Don't look in my closet.)  They were reasonably priced (especially when you consider the name brand), but each had an "as is" clearly marked o...
Read more