Two Months: Dear Mom

 

Dear Mom,

It's been two months; nine weeks (tomorrow) and this is so unreal at times.  It's probably weird to write a "letter" (that I'm going to post so anyone and everyone can see), but what the heck.

It's a beautiful Friday at the NJ shore.  (Yes, I am here in your house, which is actually my house and I wish the sharks would quit calling and mailing to ask if I'd like to sell.  The answer is no, unless they are willing to pay $20,000,000.  Yes, my asking price has gone up because I'm more annoyed.)  I'm here because M (the caregiver we hired back in December) had to return to Eastern Europe because her husband is having surgery on Monday.  (I don't know his name, but I am saying prayers.)  She arranged for her cousin B to take over and I just wanted to pop in for a day or so to make sure that all is well.  (All is well...or as well as it can be.)

It's the perfect time of year in my book.  (Which is why I got married down here 26 years ago this coming Tuesday.  Even with the mishaps [like rain showers and parkway traffic] it was perfect.  So thank you again.)  The mornings/evenings are cool, but the days are warm.  I've opened the windows and am letting the air in.  (Although we never did put the screens in on the front and back storm doors and there's no point to it now.) Fresh air and sunshine can cure just about anything.  (I wish it would cure everything!)  The crowds (for the most part) are gone, although they have yet to change out the speed limit signs or turn off the traffic lights.  These weeks, if the weather is right, are perfect.

I walked up to the beach at lunch.  If I wasn't working, I would have brought a chair and not moved for most of the day.  (I've got to figure out a way to be able to work from the beach.  Could I use my phone as a hot spot?  How badly would sand damage my laptop?  Could I make business calls over the roar of the ocean?)  There were more people than I would have expected for after Labor Day, but then again not all kids are back in school yet.  (Mine is though...third day of Senior year and he has turned in his first AP assignment; fingers crossed right?)

This would have been almost the perfect day for the two of us to walk up (because in my imagination there are no mobility issues) and plant our chairs in the sand.  The surf was a bit rough, but we could have gotten our feet wet and maybe if we had waited it out long enough the tide would have gone down and our beloved little "puddle" (between the shore and the sandbar) would have formed and we could have floated.  I'm assuming the water would be warm. (I didn't get a chance to put my feet in.)  Or we could have just sat there slathered in suntan lotion (the smell of summer) and floppy hats with our books.  (I'm reading The Life of Pi and although it's gotten raves, I'm not that moved by it yet. I'm on chapter 20 which sounds like I am well into it, but it's 100 chapters so...)

Tonight I'm buying dad pizza for dinner.  (And yes, I'm going to stop at the liquor store and buy a cheap bottle of wine!)  I thought he might like it for a change.  (When was the last time the two of you had pizza?)  Of course, if I'm honest, I'm doing it for you because I know it's what you would have done if I were just down here for the heck of it.

I won't head home till tomorrow afternoon and I'm going to try to go to the beach before then.  Maybe I will finally get a chance to really be on the beach before the summer REALLY ends.  (As the calendar tells us.)  I'd like to sit there and soak up the sun, smell the surf and breathe, but I think it's going to be strange.  Strange because when I walk back to the house, you won't be here.

You should be here and you're not.  That's hard.  But I'm doing the best I can and I think you'd be proud of me.

I love you,

Me