Isms

The brilliant musical, Avenue Q, has some phenomenal songs.  I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite, but today I've been thinking about "Everyone's A Little Bit Racist."  The song points out that EVERYONE, no matter what race, sex, religion, etc.  is a little bit racist.  (And if you say you're not, you're lying to yourself!)  That's not to say that we are all "bad" or evil, but we DO make judgments (even if it is in a flickering moment).

There is one part of the lyric which really hits me:  

"If we all could just admit

That we are racist, a little bit

Even though we all know that it's wrong Maybe it would help us get along!"

1. I'm going to admit it.  I AM a little bit racist.  I'm guilty of multiple "isms." I've said things and thought things that were just plain WRONG.  Was it to be accepted by a group?  To be "cool?"  To shock?  Does it really matter?  It's in the past and I can't change that.  I CAN send an apology out to the universe though.  I've said and done things which I regret.  I am sorry! 
2. It's not enough to just say I'm sorry for past transgressions, I have to change my behavior.  I need to think before I speak.  Especially when I speak in a joking manner.  (Which is where I found a great deal of "isms" reside.)  Is what I am going to say really funny?  Would I say it in front of my mother or grandmother?  How well do I know the people that I'm speaking to?  If there is any chance that anyone might take offense, then I really should just error on the side of being too PC. 
3. If I hear someone say something that is cringe worthy, I need to do something about it. But I'm not talking about calling someone out on the carpet.  It is MY responsibility to politely and respectfully speak to that person.  Chances are the person wasn't purposely being racist/mean/hurtful.  As I said, we all speak without thinking (more often than most of us would care to admit) and when something crosses the line, we need to let the person know that.  I need NOT to confront that person, but to find a moment and calmly let that person know that their language or action made me uncomfortable and might have made others feel that way too.   For example:  "You know how you said "...." before?  I know you didn't mean to, but it really made me a bit uncomfortable.  I'm saying this because I know you are the kind of person who is welcoming and caring and would never want to make anyone feel ill ease." If done with respect, love and understanding; this can be effective.  (Fingers crossed right?)

We are ALL going to speak out of turn at some point.  But acknowledging the fact, apologizing and making a concerted effort to THINK before speaking may not solve the problem on a global scale, but it certainly would help. Making a difference on a local level can only make things better.

So here's what I'm going to try to do make tiny little section of the world a little bit better and hopefully a little less racist, sexist, ageist...well, you get the idea.

I know I can't save the world from the evil "isms" that exist, but I can do my best to take my little piece of the globe a friendlier and safer place.  And who knows what could happen if we all tried...as the song goes "maybe it would help us get along."