Yesterday was a day of small disappointments that really got me down. Nothing major, yet sometimes the emotions trump the logic in me. Yesterday was one of those days.
The biggest disappointment is that my father will not be coming home next week as I had hoped. That is NOT to say that he's not getting better. He is so much better than he was when this diabolical infection took hold. So much better that I am already starting to block out the horror that it was when it began 6 weeks ago. Back then I knew it was going to me a long haul. In my mind I set a date of the end of October as when he would be home. Now I have to accept that October is ending and he is not yet ready to be released from the care center. Not that he isn't getting better; just that his wounds still need to heal and this process is very (VERY) slow. I SHOULD set a new date in my head of Thanksgiving so that I won't be disappointed, but my brain is saying Veteran's Day. I hope I'm not setting myself up again, but...
When it comes to my family, the heart runs the show. Forget the logic. So even though I know that he is in the place he needs to be, I broke down like a little girl when I heard that he wouldn't be coming home on "my" schedule. Silly I know; I am not a five year (I am much closer to the half century mark than I would care to admit). Simply put, my emotional side wants my dad home NOW. My logical side (the mature side), says that's not happening right now, but it will and to be patient. But emotions won out yesterday. Today I am more resolute, but it was a different story yesterday.
My other disappointment was a project that I have been working on with a great bunch of people that I thought was about to wrap up. Do I have to say that it's back to the drawing board? Sigh. Again, nothing major as the team is a great group. (After all, I am a part of it!) It's just that when you think you see the light at the end of the tunnel and it turns out that the light was just a mirage it is disappointing. Not earth shattering, but enough to make you curse and want to throw a few things against the wall. An immediate emotional response and a valid one as long as you are able to pick yourself up and keep going afterwards. As disappointing as this was, I am resilient and so is my team. So we will rant, rave and maybe even cry a little. Then we will pick ourselves up and get ourselves back on track. There will be a light...it's just further in the distance than we thought.
Life is full of disappointments. And sometimes they get the best of us...but only for a while. A new day dawns and with it new hopes and plans.