Disappointed
Yesterday was a day of small disappointments that really got me
down. Nothing major, yet sometimes the emotions trump the logic in me.
Yesterday was one of those days.
The biggest disappointment is that my
father will not be coming home next week as I had hoped. That is NOT to
say that he's not getting better. He is so much better than he was when
this diabolical infection took hold. So much better that I am already starting
to block out the horror that it was when it began 6 weeks ago. Back then
I knew it was going to me a long haul. In my mind I set a date of the end
of October as when he would be home. Now I have to accept that October is
ending and he is not yet ready to be released from the care center. Not
that he isn't getting better; just that his wounds still need to heal and this
process is very (VERY) slow. I SHOULD set a new date in my head of
Thanksgiving so that I won't be disappointed, but my brain is saying Veteran's
Day. I hope I'm not setting myself up again, but...
When it comes to my family, the heart runs
the show. Forget the logic. So even though I know that he is in the
place he needs to be, I broke down like a little girl when I heard that he
wouldn't be coming home on "my" schedule. Silly I know; I am
not a five year (I am much closer to the half century mark than I would care to
admit). Simply put, my emotional side wants my dad home NOW. My
logical side (the mature side), says that's not happening right now, but it
will and to be patient. But emotions won out yesterday. Today I am
more resolute, but it was a different story yesterday.
My other disappointment was a project that
I have been working on with a great bunch of people that I thought was about to
wrap up. Do I have to say that it's back to the drawing board?
Sigh. Again, nothing major as the team is a great group. (After
all, I am a part of it!) It's just that when you think you see the light
at the end of the tunnel and it turns out that the light was just a mirage it
is disappointing. Not earth shattering, but enough to make you curse and
want to throw a few things against the wall. An immediate emotional
response and a valid one as long as you are able to pick yourself up and keep
going afterwards. As disappointing as this was, I am resilient and so is
my team. So we will rant, rave and maybe even cry a little. Then we
will pick ourselves up and get ourselves back on track. There will be a
light...it's just further in the distance than we thought.
Life is full of disappointments. And
sometimes they get the best of us...but only for a while. A new day dawns
and with it new hopes and plans.
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