The Last "Normal" Thanksgiving

 




With the holiday just around the corner, the ghosts of Thanksgivings past have come to haunt me.  This year, like last year, will be different.  It will be different from last year.  It will be different from the year before.  Since 2018 they have all been different.

Before then they were mostly the same.  We (my husband, my son and I) would have dinner with my parents and my aunt Julie (who isn't related by blood, but by love).  For a while (when my son was young), we'd have this meal at my parents’ house, which was right next door to ours.  (It's where we had most of our holiday gatherings).  Over time, we migrated to our house (probably around 2013, or maybe a year later.)

Because I can't eat turkey (or any kind of poultry), we'd have beef or maybe ham (free ham from ShopRite!).  There were the other "standards" of the day:  mashed potatoes, green bean casserole (which wasn't really a casserole because my mom taught me to make it a different way) and a cranberry Jello mold.  And of course, dessert (that was allergy friendly.)

Starting in 2019 things had to change.  My parents had sold their house (which was next door) and lived full time at the shore.  We moved mealtime to earlier in the day.  The few stairs that lead to our house were a challenge for both my parents.  The stairs that took you to the 2nd floor and the bathroom, which was  an impossibility for my father and a challenge for my mother.  It was not an ideal holiday.  I can remember saying to my husband at the end of the day that we couldn't do this again. (Or maybe that was after Christmas).

In any event there was no Thanksgiving or Christmas the following year thanks to Covid.

Then came 2021...I started what I thought would be a new tradition, but...the three of us got up,  picked up bagels and the fixings from our favorite bagel place (there are 4 in our small NJ hometown and I go ONLY to that one) and  headed to the NJ shore for a Thanksgiving bagel brunch.  I don't have many memories of that day.  I didn't know at the time that this would be the last Thanksgiving meal we would have with my parents.  There would be no Christmas brunch (it was a Covid Christmas for the 3 of us) and by the time Easter brunch rolled around (which we actually did on a Saturday), my mom was not doing well and was not able to enjoy the food that she once loved so much.

Thanksgiving 2022:  did I do anything with my father?  I don't remember and I have no photos to jar my memory.  (Although I do know that we were unable to go down to see him on Christmas day, as the area had flooded and although the water receded, it was so cold that wherever there was still water, it turned to ice and was not safe to travel.  We didn't get down to "celebrate" until the 29th).

Which leads us to Thanksgiving 2023.  I insisted we do it at the NJ shore.  It was "okay;" not exactly what I had envisioned, but what ever is?  (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2023/11/reality-not-bfths-thanksgiving-fantasy.html  tells the tale.

Now here we are in 2024, with Thanksgiving a week away.  Memories of the past haunt me and I'm left to regret that I didn't appreciate what I had.  It's hard.

With that said, I do (again) have a plan (which has already changed and been modified several times.)  Part of our Thanksgiving weekend tradition has been to have a "deli" Thanksgiving with my in-laws.  Either we would travel to them (like we did last year) or they would travel to us and we would have a wonderful midday meal of cold cuts, salads and don't forget the pickles.  I have always enjoyed that more than the Thanksgiving Day meal, partly because it's much less work, but mostly because who doesn't enjoy corned beef and pastrami on rye?

My mother-in-law has been very supportive of me during the past difficult years.  This year, since I planned on being in the Poconos for the holiday, everyone is coming here.  I will get my son on Wednesday.  (I know traffic will be a nightmare.)  My in-laws will be here Wednesday as well.  And on Thanksgiving Day, we will celebrate with delicious deli and "christen" the dining room table.  It's not traditional, but it is OUR tradition and this year will take place on the actual day.  I've got the fantasy of how the day will go (thank you Hallmark holiday movies) and I know it won't turn out as I envision.  (Whatever does?)  But I do know that I will be surrounded by family, love and good food.  So perhaps it's time to celebrate and embrace the "abnormal" Thanksgiving.  It's something I know I am thankful for.


Comments

  1. momNovember 23, 2024 at 2:53 PM

    You've had a difficult time, but never cease to amaze me with your strength and resilience. I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving, no matter where we are or what we eat. Just being together is all that matters . Love--

    ReplyDelete

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