Take Care of Yourself

This is a reminder.  You need to take care of yourself.  In order to take care of others, you need to take care of yourself.  Remember when you're on a flight and the oxygen masks drop down, you need to put on your own before you can help others.  Makes sense:  how can you help others if you are in no condition to do so.  You need oxygen so that you can make sure that others are getting taken care of.

But we frequently forget that.  We put others ahead of ourselves.  That's not necessarily a bad thing, but we need to take care of ourselves.

One of the reasons that I think (and I have no proof of this) that my mother developed so many health issues (which eventually led to her death) is because she was so focused on my dad and his health issues that she ignored her own.  My parents had live in help towards the end of their lives, but they really needed help sooner.  It took my mother being hospitalized in the fall of 2021 that made them realize that they needed additional help. The live in caregiver that they hired was supposed to be there to help my mom take care of my dad.  Instead she became someone who took care of both of them, predominately my mother who declined quickly over the last 6 months of her life and then my father.  While I am grateful that they got help, I have to wonder if getting help earlier would have changed things. 

We need to take care of ourselves; this is abundantly clear to me.  Although my parents might not have gotten help soon enough, they did get help  When they were younger (probably about my age) they were very wise in the sense that they were forward thinking; they thought about what might happen when they got old BEFORE they got old.  Yes, they had wills, but more importantly they had legal documents like power of attorney and advanced medical directives.  That way their needs could be taken care of if they couldn't take care of themselves.  

As much as we don't want to admit it, many or even most of us are likely going to have a time in our lives when we need some kind of help.  Where for whatever reason, we cannot make our own medical decisions or wishes known.  Where we might be unable to take care of ourselves and our needs.  That doesn't just include making a meal or doing laundry, but also includes being able to pay bills.  We don't want to think about it, but we need to.  We need to take care of ourselves BEFORE we actually need the care.  We need to recognize future reality, plan for it and act on it.  

Planning is crucial.  What do you want?  Having a plan in place isn't going to help if it's not executed.  When my mom got sick, I didn't remember (or realize) that she had a medical directive.  I started to go through a process to make sure that I COULD make decisions for her when I found it.  As a result when my father needed care, I KNEW that I had what was needed in place.  Because my parents had planned ahead and made sure that the plan was legally binding, I was able to make sure that what they wanted was done.  

That's not to say that the last years of their lives were easy, but things could have been a lot more difficult.  

I don't know if any of what I went through with my parents influenced my in-laws or if they are just wise (or maybe a combination of the two), but they have taken the planning a step farther.  My husband and I have been legally designated to make decisions if it comes to that, but they also added us to their bank accounts.  Letting someone have access to your finances takes a lot of trust and if you have that, it makes a lot of sense.  This way if they are unable, we can make payments using their funds. They don't have to worry about bills being paid; we can take care of it...without even leaving our house!

Taking care of yourself means many things.  It means putting yourself first and actually caring for your needs so that you have a healthy life.  (Or as healthy as you can be.)  Taking care of yourself also means  making plans for your future and executing those plans.  

It's never too early to take care.  I know that now is the time to start making my own plans and to act on them.  NOW because tomorrow is not guaranteed.  NOW because I don't want to be a burden on my family.  NOW because I want what I want and I need to make that known so that I can live my life the way I want. (Or at least as best can be done.)

Don't put it off.  Take care of yourself.