5 Years Ago: Last Day in Lyndhurst

 Five years ago was the last day that I worked in Lyndhurst.  I didn't know it was going to be the last day.  How could I?  How could anyone really grasp what was about to happen?

Five years ago I wrote this:  https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/03/i-touch-myself.html  (Note:  five years later and I still have the bad habit of touching my face/hair.  But I DO wash my hands more and I still use hand sanitizer when I arrive at work.) I never imagined that I day later I would go in like any other day and never return.

Five years ago, the 12th was a Thursday.  I knew I wasn’t going to go  to the office that Friday because my son had a half day at high school and he might need a ride home.  While he would normally walk,  all the students had to clean out their lockers and bring everything home, which would mean a LOT of “stuff”.  There would be two “snow days” for teachers to learn how to teach/work remotely.  (Talk about baptism by fire!  What those teachers did…saying thank you is not enough!)  Then there was to be a  two-week period  of “remote learning” (what was that?) after which everything was going to be okay.  (We know how that went.)  While I packed up my laptop to work from home that Friday, I was still under the assumption that I would return to the office on Monday.  Or if not Monday, two weeks from then because the whole "thing" would be over by then, right?

Well, we know how that went.  Two weeks came and went.  There was no "miracle" cure.  Covid did not simply disappear.  Injecting bleach into our bodies was NOT an answer.  Patience was the only true answer.

March became April.  Remember how we used to go out on our front porch at 7 PM and clap and make noise in appreciation of those on the front line?  Healthcare workers who were in thick of it, trying to save lives and not knowing if they were putting themselves at risk.  (Or putting their families a risk).  We cheered them because they were heroes.  They were working round the clock to save lives.  (Something we must never forget)  April eventually turned to  May.  (We had snow that year in May...it didn't really stick, but I will never forget how I went out for a walk in MAY and it started to snow!)  Maybe it occurred to us that "normal" or the normal we knew, would never be what it once was.

Social distancing...who thought of that phrase?  Wearing masks was the norm.  (Note:  I still wear a mask on public transportation.  I am not alone.  Once I thought it was "strange."  I remember when my mother had eye surgery on February 26th.  Waiting in the doctor's office there were some people with masks.  How odd I thought then.  Now...not seeing a mask in a medical setting is cause for alarm.)  Using a scarf as a mask (or anything else I could) when I went out.  My wonderful cousin buying me one and leaving it for me so that I would be safe.  It was a kindness I will never forget.  It was a kindness that we still need in this world.

I never went back to the office that was my "home" from June 2016 to March 12, 2020.  Yes, I went back.  We were allowed to work from there starting in July (https://bfthsboringblog.blogspot.com/2020/07/wtf-was-i-thinking.html).  It didn't go too well.  I was in and out.  I returned in October for an hour or so.  They were officially closing up the office and I gathered up my "stuff"  (aka crap that I didn't need) and that was that.  Other than trips to get more items (and to actually say hello to a few co-workers who were also coming in to pack up), I never worked there again.

Five years later I'm in an office in Newark.  I'm not a big fan.  The office is "nicer" than the small office suite that I worked in before.  (The Nespresso machine is a big draw.)  But I miss my large cubicle with a huge window with a view of NYC. I miss looking out at the wetlands.  (Not an ideal place to put an office, but...)  I miss seeing the birds that flocked there.   I miss the space.  I even miss the drive...a bit.  I miss being able to go out on lunch to run errands or go for a walk.  Five years ago I never thought I would miss an office cubicle.  But I do; I still do.

I miss what we once had.  I miss what was lost'; what we all lost.

Five years ago; not a long time and yet a lifetime.  I wonder what would have been if there had been no pandemic.  What would my life look like now?  What would the world look like  now?  We will never know. 

Five years later...in sitting at my tiny "workspace," drinking coffee seeing the sun rise over the city and smiling because I (finally) saw my first robin this morning.  (It was a BIG thing for my grandmother, my mother and myself.)  I am wistful for what was.  I am grateful for what is.   I am hopeful that we learned from the experience.  An experience that I never imagined before March 12, 2020, but can see happening again.  I pray that it doesn't.

Five years later...I won't forget.  Don't forget.  Stay safe and be well.