April 8th: Worry and Insanity

 


Good Morning.  It is a good morning isn't it?  We are still alive, aren't we?  After the tirade of the lunatic in chief, we have to be grateful that we all still are alive.  (We are, aren't we?)  Because at the last hour, the maniac in chief (I can't say in charge, because he's not in charge of jack) changed his mind.

But before the crazy man decided not to end civilization, I spent the  night worrying.  Worrying, drinking double strength margaritas, and eating chocolate.  Because if the world was going to end, who cares how much I weigh and that I can no longer fit into a size 12?  (Remember the days before the lunatic in chief when I could fit into a 10?  Life was good and then HE came along and I gained weight and a whole lot of worry.  If he doesn't take responsibility for ANYTHING, then I can blame him for my weight gain.)

Was I overreacting last night?  Maybe.  Should I have realized that the insane one would change his terms again?  Probably. But again with the uncontrolled crazy that we have in the White House can you blame me?  The end of a civilization?  What civilization?  The world is full of civilization and people that I care about.  (If you are reading this, I care about you.  Even if I don't know you I care.  I care, which is more than you can say about some of the people in this world.)  I was sitting on my bed in NJ, thinking about my husband in PA and my son in NY and worrying about what catastrophe might befall us.  (And still might. Who knows what will happen next?  Two week reprieve?  Will it last two weeks?  Or will it be days or months?  WHO KNOWS?)

I AM overreacting, but can you blame me?  The "leader" of the free world (oh hell we are NOT free and it's becoming more and more obvious every single day/hour/minute) is out to destroy the whole world to make himself look good.  (Something that will never happen.)  Is this how people felt during the Cuban missile crisis?  (Only back then, we weren't the "bad guys"  Back then sanity reigned in some form.  It might have been a small form, but nonetheless.)

I was really sitting there last night stuffing my face with liquor and chocolate and worrying that I'd never be able to tell my family and friends how much I loved them. (I love you guys, I really do.)  I was worrying that everything would end or even worse become some horrifying nightmare .  (Would we all become radioactive zombies?  Now Bfth that's crazy.  But in the face of everything is it really?)

Keep eating.  Keep drinking.  Keep praying.  Because this can't be the end, can it?  I mean we learned something from WWII didn't we?  (It's looking more and more like we didn't.)

Let me clearly say something  I am nobody.  No one's going to remember me when I am gone.    And that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I need to do something.  I need to write.  I need to speak.  I need to SCREAM.  This is NOT okay.  What is going on is NOT OKAY.

This is not normal.  This is not sane.  And something needs to be done.

I am just one woman who loves her family and friends.  A woman who does not want the world to end.  A woman who is sitting here and rambling on, writing things that may or may not make sense, but can only do what she can do.  Who can only BEG the people that she voted for that they DO something.   Why do we have a Congress if they won't DO SOMETHING.    Democracy is worth fighting for, so why aren't you fighting?  What is the point of the 25th amendment if we aren't going to use it?  (And it IS time to use it.)

I love my husband.  I love my son.  I love my family, I love my friends.  I want this world to survive.  I want this world to thrive.  I want this world to exist.

Our "president" may not care about the future, but I do.  It's not all about today.  It's about tomorrow and the next day and the day after that.  I want a future.  Not just for me, but for my son and for the children he may (or may not) choose to have.  

I want the world to keep on turning.  I want the sun to rise and set.  I want to see it.  I want us all to see it.  

And yes I am blathering  And I hope that one day I will look back on this post and think about how crazy it all was.  And be grateful that we made it through.  AND that we learned from this insanity.  (Please let us learn from this insanity.)  I want to go back and blog about all the silly, unimportant things.  I want life to be boring again. A life of dull normalcy is my new goal.

Please God, let it be.



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