It Was 20 Years Ago Today...

 

The next line should be "Sgt Pepper taught the band to play," but it's not.  It was 20 years ago today that our son was born!  As any parent would probably say:  it seems like yesterday, but it was also a lifetime ago!  It goes by so quickly.  But sometimes it doesn't.

There's so much I remember from that day.  There's so much I've forgotten.  It's funny what sticks in your mind.  Like...

• Upon being informed late the night before that he was on his way, trying to get sleep and not being able to.  Watching "Frasier" on channel 11 into the wee hours before finally getting some sleep.

• Having to wake my husband up around 7 so that we could get on the road.  How did he manage to sleep?  (Or why couldn't he sleep until just about the time he should have woken up?)

• Calling my mother as we gassed up the tank and telling her that her grandson was on his way

• Driving, driving and driving.

• Driving and getting the call that our son had been born and all I could do was drive.

• Wanting to pull over and wrap my head around all of the news and the first rest stop we came up on being closed.

• Finally getting to a rest stop, going to the ladies room and then just sitting on the curb for a minute to try and absorb our new reality.

• Getting back into the car and driving, driving, driving.

• Getting to our motel.  I think we were able to check in and leave our stuff

• Eating lunch at McDonalds because my husband insisted we eat something.  (He was right.)

• Going to the hospital, getting off the elevator and seeing the birth mother's mother.

• Meeting with a nurse (or was she a social worker) before we were able to "meet" our baby

• Being taken to the "Day room" (I think that was the name) and waiting while the wheeled in our son.

• Nurse Annette (why do I remember her name?) sitting with us for a while in the day room.

• Spending the afternoon sitting there.  Holding our son.  Putting him back in his "bed" and letting him sleep (he slept a lot that day I think.)  Feeding him.  Changing his diaper.  Making my husband (who would be the stay at home dad) do a lot of the work in order to get him used to it.  Writing down every ounce of formula that he took and every time we changed a diaper.

• Heading back to the motel at the end of the day and collapsing.  I think we watched M*A*S*H.

• The A/C unit in the room being so loud that we turned it off.

• Waking up around 10 or 11 and being so hot that we had to turn it back on.  Again, it was incredibly loud and we called the front desk and asked to be moved.

• Packing up everything and getting a new room.  Then remembering that I left my cell phone in the old room.

• Falling asleep, but not getting much.  (I'm not sure if that happened before or after midnight of his first day.)

And that was just day 1.  20 highlights from the following 7305 days include:

1. Bringing our son home from the hospital to the motel we were staying in.  My son and my husband both falling asleep on the bed.  (I have photos...what germs were on the bedspread?  Did it help or hurt his immunity?

2. Coming home to NJ and introducing him to my parents, my husband's parents and relatives

3. Bringing him to church for the first time and having Andy, the amazing church sexton, be my moral support

4. Going to nursery school for 2-1/2 years and making friends that would last through high school (and beyond)

5. Going to Disney for the first time and staying at the Contemporary concierge level.  (Once you've done that you never want to go back.)  Experiencing it all through our son's eyes.  (And also through his vomit...he wasn't a good traveler on our first couple of trips.  I can't blame him.)

6. Registering for kindergarten and meeting the school principal who had also been one of my brother's teachers, who remembered my brother and took excellent care of my son during his tenure.  (Too bad he retired when my son finished 2nd grade; no one could ever come close.)

7. Having his first communion and being the only male and the youngest among a group of girls, several of which are still friends to this day.  He held his own.

8. Spending time with my parents at the Jersey shore.  Quickly loving marine life and not only attending a marine science camp, but actually giving presentations because he learned so much about the creatures of the sea, not just  from camp, but from my mother.

9. Participating in a summer "theater camp" which eventually turned into a summer job.  Yes, it's a hot mess, but it's definitely made an impact on my son's life.  (And has been a source of revenue for several years.)

10. Being a Civil War reenactor.  Having grandparents who fostered that love and took him on summer treks to various Civil War sites.  Being the youngest on the reenacting team and also having the respect of the men and women who stood beside him.

11. Confirmation.  Again being the only male and the youngest and being generally amazing and considerate.  Did the church shape him or did he shape the church? He continues to be an active member of the church even from a distance (as he is in college).  He shows his commitment to being a follower of Christ by layreading and filling in as a sexton when the long term sexton had to retire due to health issues.

12. His very first role in a high school play:  "A Comedy of Errors."  He was so proud to be the only male freshman cast in the show.  (And I believe he was only one of two freshmen who made the cut.)  It was the beginning of something wonderful.

13. Making his way through the final part of his freshman year and some of his sophomore year remotely due to Covid-19.(who could have imagined that?)  Not only surviving, but thriving.

14. Taking 3 AP courses in high school and excelling at all of them.

15. "Hello Dolly," the last school musical in which he was perfectly cast as Horace Vandergelder and provided his costumes from his own personal clothing collection.  (He DOES have elegance!)

16. High school graduation...I've never seen him look so proud and happy.

17. Movingly speaking at both his grandmother and grandfather's memorial services.

18. College:  learning the ropes, making friends and doing extremely well grade wise.  (Isn't that only part of the picture.)  Volunteering with admissions, the radio station and the garden club.

19. Maintaining friendships with those he has known in nursery school, elementary school, high school and college.  He doesn't just keep in touch, he reaches out to them and supports his friends.

20. Summer work:  he's held a job at the theater group where he was once a student since 2021.  He's supporting young people who have never been involved in the process.  His work as a summer sexton at two different churches is not about the money, but about giving back.  He wants to uphold the tradition that he learned from the sexton at the church he grew up in.  He wants to help those who are in need by volunteering at the monthly food pantry (that's not part of his "official duties.)  He is looking out and caring for the community in ways that I could never imagine.

How proud am I to be the mother of such an incredible young man?  Incredibly so.  These past 20 years have been so many things:  amazing, frustrating, loving, annoying...if you are a parent I'm sure you get it.  (And even if you aren't you probably do.)

Twenty years have come and gone...what will the next twenty hold?  I'm ready to find out!