Welcome to the Jungle

 

Let me start off by saying, I am NOT a gardener.  I never have been.  I'm not even really good with houseplants.  Although I have managed to keep 3 of my mother's orchids alive.  My father was a gardener.  He had a big plot in our back yard when I was a kid that he grew flowers and various vegetables.  Even after my parents moved to the shore, he had pots of tomato and cucumber plants that blossomed and gave forth decision produce.

My son is a gardener.  Although we have a lawn service (so he doesn't have to mow), he set up the plants around our patio.  One year he carved out a plot of land and grew pumpkins.  (I think he got three and based on all the money I had to spend to make it happen, I think each pumpkin would have been around $50 to $75.)

I like being outside.  I like having a nice yard and garden.  But again I say, I am NOT a gardener.

One of the things that attracted us to the house in the Poconos was the beautiful yards (front and back).  The owners DID have green thumbs (or at least the wife did).  There was a portable greenhouse in the back (which died this past winter).  Knowing that I didn't have a green thumb, even before we moved in (if I recall correctly), I called the landscaper the former homeowner had used and told them we would need their services.)

Once we were in, they came out.  The yard was lush, but overgrown.  They took care of things.  And I discovered that our front steps were much wider than I originally knew!  I told them that I would need help and maintenance the next year (which would be this year) and they thought once a month would be helpful.  I was totally on board.

Autumn was dry.  Winter was cold and mostly dry.  Spring came and it stayed cold and wet.  Then it got warm...and wet.  As a result things started to bloom.  I enjoyed our yard.  I enjoyed seeing things blossom and grow.  And then I realized that the backyard had ceased to be a backyard and was turning into a jungle.

I've asked the landscapers to come back.  They have.  Sort of.  They have done some pruning and clean up, but not as much as I would like. I keep texting and they say they will come, but haven't.  I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, especially as I have said that I need a clean-up by next Thursday as we are having people over the following Saturday.

Since they haven't been back, I've spent a lot of time "gardening/weeding."  As I've said, I'm no gardener.  I'm not sure what's a weed and what's not. All I know is that I'm trying to keep the backyard paths clear.  Maybe that should be clear-ish.  But with the heat and daily rainfall, it seems less like the Poconos and more like the Amazon.  (I'm having visions of "Romancing the Stone," but there's no Michael Douglas with a machete to hack at the brush.)

Every day that I've been here (in between the downpours that seem to happen every day...although last weekend was actually pretty good when it came to weather), I've been going out and filling a bin with weeds and greenery.  Then I go out the next day and it seems that much of it has grown back!  

I have had SOME luck with the (smelly) ivy that seems to have taken over a section of the yard.  (Growing higher than some of the bushes I have and infiltrating the roses!)  I've become an expert pachysandra puller!  Don't get me wrong, I love that pachysandra fills in the yard and means no grass.  But when it starts taking over the stairs and hides other features...it's got to get pulled up.  (At least a little)

What features am I talking about?  Well, way back when someone on put in ambient lighting for the yard.  (I'm assuming it was the original owners of the house...and when I say that I mean the owners who turned a small cabin into the amazing house that it is today).  I had come to realize that there were lights that were so buried under pachysandra or behind giant ferns that you could barely tell they were there.  I'm already paying ton of money each month for electricity.  If I'm going to pay, I want to see the lights...or rather I want the lights to illuminate the trees or other features rather than just being buried.

With some help from my son, we've managed to uncover and direct most of the lights.  But there is one that we cannot get to.  It is behind some bushes with thorns and there's no way to access it until the bushes are cleaned up/shaped.  I'm hoping that will happen by Thursday of next week, but...

Meanwhile as I was writing this, the skies opened up and for the past 30 minutes it's been POURING. 

It's been so heavy and so fast that the lower end of the backyard is one big puddle, the pond is nearly topped off (the last "drop" of the waterfall is now under water) and water is coming up through the floor in the basement.  (Do I need to say that we had an issue with one of the sump pumps earlier today and the plumber won't be here till Monday?  Or that we still don't have A/C?  The part should be in this weekend and say those prayers/keep those fingers crossed maybe we'll have both issues resolved on Monday and my checkbook will take a serious dip.)

So again I say...welcome to the jungle.  I'm just hoping that I don't find any poison dart frogs or titan beetles!  Where is Jack T. Colton when you need him?